Showing posts with label autumn with you. Show all posts
Showing posts with label autumn with you. Show all posts

September 05, 2026

Autumn With You Chapter 19

 

The Nineteenth Fallen Leaf



In her third year after joining Dingxin Law Firm, Chen Qi received a rather unusual criminal case.

The case had been assigned to her by a legal aid organization, and she did not take it lightly. After obtaining all the case files and video materials from the Qizhou police station, she stayed up through the night reviewing and organizing them, conducting visits and investigations and gathering evidence. She also made an appointment with the detention center in advance for a meeting with her client.

The other party was a boy of only nineteen years old, surnamed Yu, with the single given name Lang.

She had seen his photograph in the materials and was surprised by his striking appearance.

But after learning more about his circumstances, she began to sympathize with him.

He had been born in a small town called Luhe, in the northern part of Qizhou.

He had a violent father who drank heavily and was addicted to gambling, and who treated beating his mother as an everyday occurrence. According to nearby villagers, they could hear his father's curses and his mother's cries almost every day, along with the sounds of things being thrown and smashed.

His mother was in poor health and suffered from epilepsy, with attacks occurring at irregular intervals. In her younger years, she had worked at a factory for several years, but later, in an accident, two fingers on her left hand were crushed by a machine. Disabled and suffering from epilepsy, she could only stay at home from then on, cooking and working the land.

Because of his parents' discord and their financial hardship, Yu Lang's childhood was not a happy one.

But he seemed to have always firmly believed that he possessed the ability to create happiness, or to make his way toward it. He devoted himself to his studies, and from the age of ten-something, he had already been finding all kinds of odd jobs after school by every possible means, saving his money bit by bit until small amounts accumulated into something substantial.

Several elders from his village affectionately called him Xiao Lang, without exception praising him:

“This child is such a good one.”

“He's hardworking and sensible. Whenever he sees us, he always greets us.”

“He does his homework especially fast. He can finish it at school, so there's no need for his family to worry about him at all. And whenever we're busy, after he comes home from school and has nothing to do, he even takes the initiative to help us with the work.”

No one could have imagined that something like this would happen. There was nothing but regret in their voices.

An old white-haired man took a sip of tea and sighed. “His old man was wrong in a thousand ways, ten thousand ways, but he still shouldn't have killed him.”

“Shouldn't he have died?”

The girl beside him, who had been silently wiping the table, suddenly spoke.

Chen Qi noticed her and asked her about Yu Lang.

She said she had been Yu Lang's classmate in middle school, but she had failed to get into high school, so she had dropped out and stayed home doing odd jobs.

“Yu Lang was a really good person.” Her name was Song Xiaoyue, and she had shared a desk with Yu Lang for half a semester. “One time, I got my period and stained the chair. The other boys saw it and made fun of me. They carried my chair away and passed it around, refusing to give it back to me. Yu Lang snatched it back, then went to the bathroom, fetched water, and wiped the chair clean for me.”

As she spoke, her eyes reddened.

“He worked so hard. He was always number one. Our homeroom teacher especially liked him and often praised him in front of the whole class, saying that he was destined to make something of himself.”

She had thought so too.

After graduating from middle school, he went to the county seat for high school. Song Xiaoyue continued to secretly keep track of him. When she learned that he had done very well on the gaokao and had been admitted to a medical university in the provincial capital of Su Province, she felt happy from the bottom of her heart.

Because back in middle school, he had written in an essay that he wanted to become a doctor.

A month after the start of university, she was at home shelling pea pods. Her mother was outside the door, greeting someone. When she heard the words “Xiao Lang,” she hurried outside.

When the boy saw her, he smiled as well and greeted her.

She asked him, “Why are you back?”

He said, “Mid-Autumn Festival is coming up, and the school is holding a sports meet, so I came back early.”

She asked him again, “Is Jinling fun?”

He said, “It's been busy since the semester started, so I haven't really had a chance to look around. But the area around the university is already very beautiful and prosperous.”

Her heart yearned for it, yet she was also glad that she had not gone into the city to find work, but had stayed in the town instead. This way, she could see Yu Lang from time to time, hear from the adults about his studies, his future job, his future family, and perhaps even see his wife and children someday, becoming a spectator to the smooth and happy life he would live.

Unfortunately, no one could predict what life would bring.

After that day, she never saw Yu Lang again.

It had not even been two days when she was shocked to hear that he had killed someone and fled. Numerous police cars came to the village and cordoned off the area around Yu Lang's home. Everyone ran over to watch, their hearts filled with panic and disbelief.

At first, all kinds of rumors circulated. Some said he had killed both his father and mother. Song Xiaoyue refused to believe it. She said that even if someone held a knife to her neck, she still would not believe it.

Later, when her parents brought up the matter again at the dinner table, the story had changed.

They said his father had gotten drunk and beaten his mother to death with a wine bottle. In a fit of rage, Yu Lang had then used the jagged edge of the broken bottle to stab his father to death.

They also said that before leaving, Yu Lang had arranged his mother's appearance, lifted her back onto the bed, and covered her properly with a blanket.

As though he had witnessed it himself, her father clapped his chopsticks down and spat as he spoke: “Whoever dared do that to my mother, I'd do the same in his place!”

Her mother slapped him and told him to stop talking nonsense.

And his grandmother simply laughed as she listened.

As for any further details, Song Xiaoyue had no way of knowing.

At the time, she only felt that people like them, standing outside the matter, were truly fortunate and carefree.

But Chen Qi knew.

Flipping through the materials that had already been read almost to tatters, through the cold black characters on white paper, she raised her head and asked the young man sitting across the table:

“I've read your statement and watched the interrogation footage. You said that after your mother was struck on the back of her head, she fell down and convulsed for a while before becoming still. You did try to save her, didn't you?”

Yu Lang hummed in response, his expression cold and distant.

“I performed CPR on her. Her heartbeat still didn't come back, and she was still losing body heat. I wanted to call 120, but my father thought she was dead and was terrified. He kept pulling me back and wouldn't let me make the call. He smashed my phone. At the time, I had no way to...”

His words stopped there.

His choice of words was somewhat technical, and Chen Qi could not help asking something unrelated to the case. “What major did you apply for at the medical university?”

Yu Lang glanced at her. “Clinical medicine.”

Chen Qi asked, “Why didn't you turn yourself in after committing the crime?”

Yu Lang said, “I was desperate at the time. All I could think about was killing myself.”

Chen Qi was silent for a few seconds before asking, “You've always disliked your father, haven't you?”

Yu Lang said, “It wasn't just dislike. I hated him.”

Chen Qi said, “But when you left in the middle of the night, you were wearing his clothes. Was that for the sake of anti-investigation measures?”

Yu Lang said, “I didn't have any clothes with a pocket on the chest.”

Chen Qi didn't understand.

Yu Lang explained, “I was afraid the photo of my mother would get wrinkled if I put it in my pants pocket.”

Chen Qi suddenly found herself unable to speak.

After a long while, she continued, “Why did you stop at Suixiu?”

Yu Lang said, “While the car was traveling along the road, I saw a range of high mountains in the distance.”

“Mountains?”

“Mm.”

“Why did you want to go up the mountain?”

“During the summer vacation after the gaokao, I went to Wucheng and worked as a temporary laborer at a construction site for two months. I earned money for my university living expenses, and I also planned to take my mother to a major hospital for a checkup, then go to Huangshan to watch the sunrise. The construction job was something I...” He paused. “It was my father who helped introduce me to it. I was paid by the day. I received my money for the first month. In the second month, because I went back to school, my father interfered, and the person in charge transferred the money to him. I came home early before National Day, wanting to get the money during the holiday so I'd have enough time to take my mother traveling and for her medical examination. He told me there was no money left. He'd gambled it all away. Because of that, I got into an argument with him. My mother spoke up for me, and that was how everything that happened that night came about.”

Yu Lang lowered his eyelashes. “Before killing myself, I wanted to fulfill the promise I hadn't kept to my mother.”

Chen Qi covered her mouth, saying nothing for a long time.

She drew a light breath and continued, “So you took the photograph with you, went to Suixiu Village, and decided that after watching the sunrise from the mountain, you would leave this world.”

“Mm.”

“And afterward? What made you change your plan?”

Yu Lang fell silent.

Until then, he had cooperated with her throughout, answering every question without sorrow or resentment. But at this moment, a fluctuation and hesitation appeared on his face that Chen Qi had never seen before.

Chen Qi said, “You have to tell me every detail, every truth. Only then can I help you as much as I possibly can.”

Yu Lang spoke slowly. “I met someone.”

Chen Qi vaguely guessed. “The girl who reported you?”

Yu Lang gave an almost inaudible response.

Chen Qi's thoughts immediately became tangled, and she did not know whether to feel relieved or regretful.

At least he had survived. That was more important than anything else. As long as he was alive, there was hope.

She said, “How did she find out about your situation?”

Yu Lang said, “I don't know.”

“She didn't suspect you at first?” Chen Qi crossed her hands on the table. “Because your circumstances were rather unusual.”

Yu Lang still answered, “I don't know.”

Then he added, “She just pulled me back.”

Chen Qi stared at him for a while. “Once you decided not to kill yourself, why didn't you turn yourself in either?”

Yu Lang did not answer.

Chen Qi inferred that he had fallen in love with the girl.

He longed to spend more time with her, accepted her betrayal, and bore no resentment.

At least, that was what Chen Qi saw.

In the first month after officially taking on the defense of this parricide case, Chen Qi unexpectedly received a call from the girl. She wanted to ask about the progress of the case, but Chen Qi politely declined to answer.

Later, when they met, she mentioned it to Yu Lang in passing. Yu Lang said there was no need to pay her any attention and not to reveal anything more.

So she respected her client's wishes and blocked the girl's number.

But she had not expected the other party to be so relentless. Over the course of half a year, she had already blocked several phone numbers from Jiangxi Province.

Chen Qi did not understand.

Having already taken the initiative to report the case, the girl had clearly possessed her own sense of right and wrong at the time. There was actually no meaning in doing these things now.

Carrying a heart full of enthusiasm, as well as sympathy for her client, Chen Qi had also thrown herself wholeheartedly into the matter, racking her brains from early morning until late at night. When she chatted about it with a university classmate who worked at the court, the other party even joked, “What a major case. You could use it as an analysis question.”

From the bottom of her heart, she wanted to help Yu Lang. She drew upon everything she had learned, collecting every piece of testimony and physical evidence that might be valuable or useful.

Unfortunately, her client himself was not particularly cooperative.

He seemed to have resigned himself to his fate, waiting for Heaven's judgment rather than the verdict of the law.

Their final meeting before the first-instance trial.

Chen Qi asked him what other requests he had.

He said no. Then he smiled and said, “Thank you, Lawyer Chen.”

Chen Qi defended him seriously, insisting that his actions constituted excessive self-defense.

The verdict came down quickly. It was objective, and cruel. The court determined that his actions constituted the crime of intentional homicide, but considering the special circumstances, sentenced Yu Lang to ten years in prison.

Chen Qi sat silently behind the defendant's seat, unable to suppress the indignation and desolation in her heart.

How many ten-year periods could a person have in a lifetime? Even with sentence reductions along the way, if nothing unexpected happened, then several years from now, this boy should have been walking gracefully in a white coat through some public top-tier Class III Grade A hospital, pursuing his ambitions, saving people from suffering, relieving them of illness and pain, rather than confining himself within prison walls.

But this was simply how the human world was. Where there was brightness and glamour, there were scabs. Where some people soared upward, others fell from high cliffs.

The victor was justice.

What happened afterward was as Chen Qi had expected. Yu Lang chose not to appeal.

After the case was closed, she never saw that boy again.

But she often thought of him.

Thinking it over and over, the thing she remembered most clearly was nothing more than his only smile and words of thanks before the first-instance trial.

—

After learning of Ji Shiqiu's verdict, Wu Yu rushed to Anhui Province through the night. It was early spring, warm and mild, yet she spent the entire afternoon sitting motionlessly on the steps outside the courthouse.

The city was bustling with traffic, but to her it was utterly unfamiliar. She had no identity, no one she knew, and nowhere to go.

Afterward, she found a car to take her to Suixiu.

The local driver did not quite understand. He bluntly asked what there was to do in that godforsaken place called Suixiu.

Thinking she was a lone traveler, he enthusiastically recommended other ancient villages bustling with people.

Wu Yu answered him absently, rolled down the window to smoke, and gazed out at the surging blue-white ears of wheat.

She returned to Sister Lin's inn at the head of the village. Only half a year had passed, and Suixiu had not changed much. The only changes were in the mountain scenery and the seasons.

Sister Lin's fish had all died. She had spread a shallow layer of sand across the bottom of the tank and filled it with gaudy Brazilian turtles.

Wu Yu teased the dazed-looking turtle through the glass.

The woman, having finished her work, came in from the back courtyard and was given such a fright by Wu Yu's sudden appearance that she nearly jumped.

She thought she was dreaming. She blinked many times, then tears welled in her eyes, and she hurried over to embrace her.

Wu Yu hugged Sister Lin back.

Sister Lin told her to sit down, took a sealed jar of osmanthus honey from the refrigerator, scooped out two spoonfuls, mixed it with hot water, and made it for Wu Yu to drink. She sat down and smiled. “The osmanthus in this was picked when you and...”

She stopped herself, avoiding that name. “When you were here, you picked it. Have a taste. See if the scent on you has been washed clean.”

Wu Yu smiled faintly and took a sip. It was sweet.

She got straight to the point. “I didn't report him.”

Though Sister Lin had never received much schooling, her mind worked quickly. “I know.”

Wu Yu asked, “How did you know?”

Sister Lin said, “After spending so many days together, don't you think I know the two of you?”

Sister Lin had likewise spent half a year worrying without ever knowing what had actually happened. “How is Xiao Qiu doing now, anyway?”

Wu Yu said, “Ten years.”

Sister Lin lowered her head and sighed, then anxiously picked at her fingers, murmuring, “How could it have turned out like this...”

Wu Yu wanted to ask the same thing.

She wanted to ask even more.

That night had been vivid yet muddled, as though she had been split into two people. One version of herself had been pushing and pulling, teaching her how to walk and speak, how to deal with the police, how to follow all of Ji Shiqiu's painstaking arrangements. The other version had been shouting and cursing.

Wu Yu's head throbbed unbearably.

She had almost forgotten the details.

Now, little by little, they surfaced as though threads were being drawn out and unraveled. Wu Yu asked, “Did he borrow your phone at the time?”

Sister Lin barely had to think. “He did. He borrowed a pen too. I searched for ages before finally finding a ballpoint pen. It was barely putting out any ink anymore. He fiddled with it for ages.”

Sister Lin pointed toward a corner of the wall and said that Ji Shiqiu had sat there at the time, moving a stool over. Whenever he had a moment, he would bend over it and write.

Wu Yu followed her gaze.

There was no one there now. On the ground, there was only a small patch of glaring sunlight.

Wu Yu suddenly felt her nose sting. “What did he tell you?”

Sister Lin said, “I asked him why he was studying so hard. He said he wasn't studying. He didn't know when you would leave, so he wanted to write you a letter before you did.”

“I even asked him if he was writing you a love letter. He just smiled and didn't answer.”

Wu Yu's eyes grew misty with tears.

After spending one night in Suixiu, Wu Yu returned to her hometown.

When she got back this time, her mother went into a furious rage, saying that she had gone out fooling around again and caused trouble, and asking why she hadn't simply died outside.

Mother and daughter got into a fierce argument and physical fight. Her stepfather stood to the side, fanning the flames. Wu Yu knocked over every shelf in the family's supermarket and poured cooking oil over them.

Her whole body trembling, she opened a lighter and threatened them, “Let me go, or I'll burn this place to the ground. I'll burn every one of you to death.”

At that moment, they were truly afraid.

She got her freedom, as she had wished.

Before that, Wu Yu had always been the notorious problem girl in town. She did not apply herself, was stubborn by nature, solitary and eccentric. Apart from the undeniably beautiful face she had been given, whenever people mentioned her, they could only shake their heads in distaste.

After finishing vocational school, she stayed at her family’s supermarket, working as a cashier.

She had been in many relationships, all of them short-lived, and she never took any of them seriously. She had decided that all men were no different from her biological father and stepfather, disgusting as locusts and leeches, gnawing away at the life that should have been whole, sucking away the sweet, hot blood she should have been allowed to possess.

She also had a rotten mother, someone willing to be a parasite clinging to the bone, who loved only her younger brother and regarded her as no more valuable than weeds or worn-out shoes.

After graduation, her mother accidentally learned that her stepfather harbored ill intentions toward her. Her hatred and jealousy toward her daughter grew day by day. On one hand, she constantly humiliated her, calling her a seductress and a prostitute. On the other, she urged her to hurry up and find some man who would have her and marry him, so she would stop getting in her way. There were already too many mouths in the household to feed and clothe, taking up space.

But whenever Wu Yu truly tried to leave, they would drag her back, confine her to the house, and beat her.

After moving to the urban area of Qianzhou, Wu Yu found a place to rent. Her roommate was a girl named Yu Liya who worked at a bank.

She had the same surname as him.

Wu Yu naturally took a liking to her.

When she learned that Wu Yu had studied finance at vocational school, she suggested that she take the vocational-to-bachelor's degree entrance examination, then try applying for jobs at banks.

Wu Yu was very grateful to her.

Before this, she had regained her freedom, but she had been muddled and directionless, trapped in that grief-stricken autumn night, unable to find peace.

But now, she no longer wallowed in it. She dared to feel her way across the river by stepping on stones.

She imagined that by the time Ji Shiqiu was released from prison, she should already have a stable job and income. Perhaps she might even have bought a house by then.

At that time, she would not have to take him from place to place, hiding wherever they could. She could even turn the house into a home together with him.

Yu Liya was cheerful and generous, often taking her out to have fun and introducing her to colleagues and friends.

There was no shortage of men asking for her contact information, but she shook her head and politely refused them all. There were also those who tried to sound Yu Liya out indirectly.

Yu Liya would laugh and say, “Stop imagining things. Wu Yu has a long-distance boyfriend.”

Strangely enough, despite living together every day, in the room next door, Yu Liya had never once seen Wu Yu speak to her boyfriend, have a video call with him, or seen that man come to Qianzhou to visit her.

The only thing that made the story convincing was that during the two years they lived together, the woman would leave the province once every three or four months, saying she was going to see her boyfriend. Every time, she would leave happily, then return dejected.

Yu Liya felt that the other person must be a piece of shit.

She was not someone without boundaries.

So she never asked too many questions. When it came to matters of love, she believed one should sweep the snow from one's own doorstep and not bother brushing the frost from another person's roof.

After finding out that Ji Shiqiu was serving his sentence at Luyang Prison, Wu Yu began writing him letters, one every month.

Every quarter, she would get up early and take a five-hour high-speed train, setting off for Anhui Province without ever growing tired of it.

The first time she went, while registering the visitation procedures, a staff member asked what her relationship to Yu Lang was. She said she was his girlfriend.

Later, a prison guard came out, puzzled. “Yu Lang says he doesn't have a girlfriend. No visitation.”

Wu Yu guessed.

But she did not give up. She still held onto a sliver of hope.

Life in prison was so monotonous and lonely. Perhaps it could also make a person quiet their mind and think.

Maybe he would regret it.

Maybe he could no longer endure the torment of loneliness either.

If she just kept coming, again and again, perhaps one of those times he would finally agree to see her.

She persisted like this for three years. Even the people at the prison grew annoyed and baffled whenever they saw her, and they tried to persuade her.

“Girl, just find yourself a good man and fall in love again. There are plenty of two-legged men on the street. You're so beautiful. Why make yourself suffer like this?”

Wu Yu said nothing.

She only knew that a leaf-shaped emptiness had been burned away inside her heart. Time would not heal it, and outsiders could not fill it.

She was like someone standing at the edge of an empty valley where every bird had vanished and every tree had withered, shouting for three years, with no echo ever returning.

Wu Yu's longing and hope for Ji Shiqiu began to change.

She came to hate him, resent him, and lose all peace in eating or sleeping. Yet she also missed him with a pain that tore straight through her heart. Especially when autumn nights arrived, whenever she awoke from a nightmare and suddenly sat upright, even breathing seemed to stab directly into her lungs.

Yet she had underestimated just how ruthless Ji Shiqiu could be.

The last time she went to see him, the staff drove her away in accordance with procedure.

Wu Yu's eyes overflowed as she struggled to rush inside, only to be restrained and held back where she stood. Facing the wall on the other side, she screamed hysterically:

“Ji Shiqiu, let me in. I want to see you. Let me see you. Who gave you the right to decide this yourself? Why? Why do you get to decide?”

They did not know who Ji Shiqiu was. There was no one in the prison by that name at all. They looked at her as though she were mentally ill and refused to let her enter again.

After that bone-deep outpouring, all things eventually returned to silence.

On the way back from Luyang Prison, Wu Yu felt as though her heart had been hollowed out. Her stomach was in excruciating pain, so bad that she could no longer walk normally.

Don't come to sit in on the hearing. Don't come to see me. Take good care of yourself.

Those three sentences Ji Shiqiu had said before they parted kept repeating in her mind.

So it turned out that none of those words had been lies, angry words, empty words meant to comfort her, or things he had blurted out without thinking in a moment of desperation. They had all been true. He meant to make good on every one of them, leaving her not even a shred of anticipation, not even a sliver of hope.

He calmly walked toward his own misfortune, and selfishly passed judgment on her fate too. That was to ask her to erase him completely from the rest of her life.

Wu Yu walked on in a daze for a long time, until her leather shoes had rubbed her heels raw.

She wrapped her trench coat tighter around herself and found a bench at the street corner to sit on. The dry, cold wind blew against her. It was late autumn, and the branches had almost completely withered. Many ginkgo leaves tumbled around her feet, blurring together in a daze, their golden brilliance like the rising sun.

Wu Yu lowered her head and looked at them. Through them, it was as though she could see once more the lush mountains, rivers, and autumn wilderness of Suixiu. She believed it now, and she no longer destroyed or loathed herself. She had truly been loved, and perhaps she was still loved. In the future, she could encounter or lose more love, just as leaves sprouted in spring, flourished in summer, and slept in winter.

Only,

her seasons would never have autumn again.

……

Another spring came. In a central city park, a sacredly arranged lawn wedding was being held. The bride and groom stood side by side at the edge of the stage, listening attentively as the emcee went over the proceedings, both of them beaming.

By late April, it was difficult to have weather this fine; the sky was astonishingly blue.

White doves flapped their wings, while mother-of-pearl-colored balloons gathered and floated in the air. Sunlight could be seen everywhere. Relatives and friends chatted and laughed merrily, while children chased one another and played.

The makeup artist came over to touch up the beautiful bride's makeup. She had just finished pressing powder onto one side of her face when the bride's friend squeezed her way over, holding out a delicately wrapped gift box with both hands.

She pretended to be displeased and rolled her eyes. “Didn't we agree you wouldn't get married until you were thirty-five? How could you break our agreement four years early?”

The bride lifted her eyelashes and glanced toward the groom, the corners of her lips curling gently. The reason was self-evident.

The other party seemed to have been paying attention to them the entire time. In the middle of making conversation with the guests, he turned his head and returned her gaze with a faint smile.

Seeing this, her friend shuddered and rubbed her arms in disgust.

The two women laughed and teased each other for a while. Suddenly, the friend remembered something. She pulled an envelope from her handbag and raised her hand to indicate behind her.

“I just came from over there. Some man stopped me and asked me to give this to you. Weird, isn't it?”

Then she guessed, “But he was pretty handsome. Is he some secret admirer of yours?”

The bride froze for a moment before reaching out to take it.

A blank envelope, bearing no name and almost no weight at all.

As if by telepathy, the bride's fingertips trembled for no reason. She opened the envelope and glanced inside, and her lower lip began to tremble.

She tipped what was inside into her palm.

It was a leaf from a Chinese tallow tree. It seemed to have been carefully preserved. There was not the slightest tear along its edges, its shape intact and perfectly symmetrical.

It was an exceptionally pure, blazing red, comparable to the flowers and flames in an oil painting.

“That's all?” her friend said with a disappointed click of her tongue. “I thought it was going to be something.”

The bride stared blankly at the leaf. After a moment, she suddenly realized something and lifted her head, her gaze sweeping in every direction.

Her friend noticed the strange expression on her face and wanted to ask what was going on.

But the bride seemed not to hear her. She pushed her aside, did not even bother with the stairs, and walked straight toward the stage, gathering the hem of her white veil in her hands as she climbed onto the platform that was about to bear witness to vows of love.

Across the vast lawn, countless figures moved to and fro, yet there was not a single person whose figure or appearance resembled him.

Not one.

He was engraved so deeply into the innermost part of her heart. If he had not truly walked out of her world, how could he be so impossible to find?

Her vision gradually blurred, as though she were standing in the rain, making even breathing feel so difficult.

The groom strode over and took hold of her shoulders, his voice tense with concern.

“What happened, Wu Yu? Why are you crying?”

“Nothing.” The bride shook her head and gently wiped away the tears at the corners of her eyes. Choking back a sob, she said, “It's just… I suddenly feel… so complete, and so happy.”

The groom's eyes also filled with tears. Smiling, he pulled her into his arms.

“I feel so complete and so happy too. No, I feel even more complete, and even happier.”

“Why?”

“Of course because I love you.”

—

I love you.

I can do anything for you.

Anything within my power.

Including

saying goodbye forever.

[The End]

✦

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Autumn With You Chapter 18

 

The Eighteenth Fallen Leaf



Wu Yu remained silent for a long while.

Her mind, after boiling over, suddenly cooled, finally dissolving into nothingness.

She stood dazed for a moment before coming back to herself. She shot Ji Shiqiu a vicious glare and flung away the towel in her hand.

She pushed aside this wall of a man standing before her and rushed to the desk. She picked up her phone and, afraid that even a moment's delay would be too long, pulled up the text message interface.

Wu Yu had a habit of frequently clearing out her messages. At this moment, the completely white message list was no different from before, yet it was also as empty as a bitterly cold snowy day.

Text messages could not be recalled.

How did he know her phone password?

...

Wu Yu's mind was a mess. Holding on to a sliver of hope, she turned her head. "The message?"

Ji Shiqiu stood not far away. "Deleted it."

She strode back, grabbed him by the collar as though she were about to fight, and stared him down. "You're getting quite capable. What did you send?"

Ji Shiqiu's gaze remained fixed on her face, utterly calm. "Nothing much. I just used your tone to tell the police officer listed on the notice that I was here."

Wu Yu asked, "How did you know their contact information?"

Ji Shiqiu said, "A quick search was all it took."

The taut line of Wu Yu's waist collapsed.

Yes. News of the search for him was everywhere. With only a little attention, anyone could know everything.

Why? Wu Yu wanted to ask why, but it was as though something had caught in her throat. Her complicated emotions had taken on a physical form, choking her there, impossible to cough out or swallow down, bringing tears to her eyes.

They had agreed to leave together.

How could he turn against her just like that?

Ji Shiqiu felt a pang of pity for her, but he could not comfort her immediately. The clock was counting down. He had to arrange everything according to the original plan as quickly as possible.

He walked to the television set-top box and lifted it up. From underneath, he pulled out a sheet of sketch paper about the size of a book.

On the front was the drawing from after they had come down the mountain. The back was densely covered in writing.

He brought it over, handed it to Wu Yu, and said methodically, "Everything that happened during the days we've known each other is written here, every detail. Some of it is true and some of it is false, but from this moment on, you have to treat all of it as your real experience. Go over it a few times quickly. When you give your statement later, just tell the police what's written here."

Wu Yu looked up in astonishment.

She did not take it.

Ji Shiqiu was frantic to the extreme, and his tone could not help becoming somewhat forceful. "Take it."

What answered him was a slap, so hard that it sent his face sharply to one side.

"You lied to me." Wu Yu's expression was cold and bleak. "And now you still expect me to listen to you?"

The pain brought a flush of red to Ji Shiqiu's eyes, but he had no time to care. His expression remained stubbornly resolute. "Right now, you can only listen to me. The police station closest to here is only an hour's drive away."

Wu Yu gave a cold laugh. "Ha. You even looked that up?"

Ji Shiqiu did not refute her.

Wu Yu looked at him as though he were a stranger. "What else? How long have you been preparing?"

Ji Shiqiu found it difficult to answer. This stretch of time had been so joyful that it made a person forget time, yet so agonizing that each day felt like a year.

He only remembered that from the moment Wu Yu began showing unusual signs, he had already made up his mind and secretly planned this adventure.

It was not that he had never considered turning himself in. Perhaps that would have been the best and most advantageous choice.

But with Wu Yu's strong-willed personality, she would certainly be dragged into it by him for many years.

She deserved a life as beautiful as spring, filled with flowers and splendor.

Not one wasted on someone like him, adrift and teetering on the brink of collapse. Even if she were willing to wait, his ability to give her the ordinary happiness of this world in the future would be greatly diminished.

That was even more unacceptable to him than being sentenced to death.

So, rather than promise her an uncertain and distant good ending that might never come,

he would rather be hated by her from this moment onward.

"Only this." Ji Shiqiu caught one of her hands and forcefully stuffed the paper into it. "You only need to remember this."

Wu Yu resisted and struggled. In the confrontation, the face of the boy in the drawing became wrinkled, and some of the charcoal lines blurred. No one noticed.

Ji Shiqiu let out a desperate roar. "Take it!"

Wu Yu was stunned into stillness, staring straight at him.

She clenched her teeth and watched him for a long time. Finally, she gave in.

On the paper were several lines of exceptionally handsome, neat handwriting.

Wu Yu had never seen handwriting this beautiful. It had been written with a ballpoint pen, the ink a deep blue, more beautiful than the handwriting of every teacher she had ever had.

The contents were also clear and concise, like several outlines that were easy to remember.

In Ji Shiqiu's story, he was simply Ji Shiqiu, and Wu Yu knew nothing about his true identity.

She was merely a girl who had run away from home, who, in this village, happened to encounter a homeless boy.

They traveled through the mountains together, developed a slight affection for each other, and that was all.

All the love and pain, sorrow and joy, tenderness and collisions, none of it was recorded.

Not a trace remained.

The words gradually blurred beneath a veil of mist.

Wu Yu held herself back again and again, refusing to let her tears fall and strike the pages.

Ji Shiqiu asked, "Finished reading?"

She took a deep breath. "I can't remember it, and I won't lie."

Ji Shiqiu insisted, "You can. I just praised you for it." Not long ago, he had told her she was cute.

So everything had its reason after all. The resentment surged up, and Wu Yu's chest felt unbearably tight. "Don't think I'll listen to you."

Ji Shiqiu's voice remained gentle. "If our statements don't match when the time comes, the police may think I'm giving false testimony."

Wu Yu's pupils abruptly widened.

He had calculated her temperament perfectly.

He was actually willing to use himself to coerce her.

How could he...

How could he be this ruthless and stubborn?

Wu Yu felt as though she had been drilled straight through, utterly collapsing. In a panic, she pushed the paper back toward him. "I don't want it. Don't give it to me."

Then she turned around and paced wildly around the room like a headless fly, trying to stuff everything he had ostentatiously taken out back into the travel bag.

All the while, she muttered like a curse, "You promised me. You can only leave with me."

Ji Shiqiu chased after her, pulled the distraught woman back, and looked at her intently. "Wu Yu! Look at me!"

Wu Yu avoided his sharp, bright gaze. He held her chin, forcing her to return to his eyes, and gave her the last of his strength. "It's already come to this. How long do you think we can keep running? How long can we keep dragging it out?"

Wu Yu could not answer. Her heart was dead, like cold ashes.

The muscles on her face twitched uncontrollably. Her expression was neither crying nor smiling. "I want... at least..."

She choked slightly. "...at least, to see the Chinese tallow trees turn red."

The pain tightened between Ji Shiqiu's brows. "You can see them in many places. This kind of tree is everywhere."

"What about the one I saw with you?" Wu Yu demanded.

She did not want to be so aggressive either. "What if I want to see it this year?"

Ji Shiqiu's Adam's apple moved slightly. "Do as I say, and you'll see it this year."

"And you? Where will you be then?" Wu Yu gave a bleak, mocking little laugh. "What's the meaning of seeing it by myself? I'd never noticed this kind of tree before. Only you told me its name, told me that it would turn red, that it would become like a tree covered in flowers. If you can't take me to see it, then what right did you have to tell me about it?"

Within her dazzling description, Ji Shiqiu's eyes slowly grew gray and barren.

He squeezed out three words. "I'm sorry."

He had thought that Heaven's punishment for his crimes would be death, or a long imprisonment. But he had never imagined that it would be making him meet the girl he most wanted to love in the most unbearable circumstances. This hurt a thousand, ten thousand times more than the first two. And he was so powerless, so helpless. The only thing he could do for her was to make sure she got away unscathed. The perfect adventure he could accompany her through was to protect her safety, give her the best possible ending, and then say a final goodbye to her.

His heart felt as though it were being cut by a knife. Ji Shiqiu was in so much pain that he could not speak.

Wu Yu said nothing either. She was waiting, waiting for him to reveal even a trace of genuine weakness or reluctance to part with her. If he did, she would enshrine those words as the guiding principles of her life for many years to come. She was only twenty-four. What she lacked least was time.

Yet Ji Shiqiu was more resolute than she had ever known or imagined him to be. "These past few days, I've basically listened to you. I'm asking you, please listen to me just this once."

The grief in Wu Yu's eyes turned fierce, her tone icy. "Fine. Ji Shiqiu, once you're inside, I won't wait for you."

He seemed to let out a sigh of relief. Tears threatened to fall, but he forcibly held them back. With difficulty, he answered, "Okay."

He picked up the sheet of drawing paper covered in carefully formed handwriting and handed it to her again. "Look at it a few more times."

Wu Yu sat down and wiped her eyes. A few minutes later, she handed it back, her face expressionless throughout.

"Remember it?"

Wu Yu did not answer.

Ji Shiqiu knew that she had remembered it. He turned the drawing paper over and glanced at his own unsmiling face on the front, then tore it into pieces.

He found Wu Yu's lighter as well, burned the pieces to ashes in the ashtray, then carried them to the bathroom.

The woman standing beside the bed looked as though most of her soul had been stripped away, her expression wooden and rigid.

At the sound of running water, she suddenly seemed to come alive. Clenching both fists, she hurried toward the same place and collided with Ji Shiqiu as he walked out the door.

She began to beat his chest viciously with all her might, fighting as though her life depended on it. She refused to look at him, her face red as blood.

Ji Shiqiu remained motionless, without even blinking.

The instant all her strength finally gave out, he pulled her into his arms. It was a deep, fleeting embrace, using every last bit of his strength, as though he wanted their flesh and souls to merge, bone sinking into bone, blood seeping into blood.

Wu Yu whimpered sorrowfully.

He wiped her tears with his thumb. "Don't cry anymore. The police will be here soon."

Wu Yu could not stop crying, yet she had no choice but to force herself to.

Ji Shiqiu embraced her once more. This time, it was gentle. When he confirmed that her nasal voice had begun to settle, he leaned close to her ear. "Don't come to the hearing. Don't come to see me. Take good care of yourself."

Before Wu Yu could answer, there was a knock on the door. It was Sister Lin's voice. "Wu Yu? Are you asleep?"

Wu Yu swallowed once and called out, "No."

Sister Lin's tone was casual. "Old Zheng brought over some crabs. I steamed them. Are you and Xiao Qiu coming down to eat? They'll get fishy once they cool down, and then they won't taste good."

Sister Lin had never come looking for them at this hour. Wu Yu guessed what was happening. Her eyes reddened again, and her lips trembled uncontrollably. Ji Shiqiu gently stroked her cheek, his eyes reminding her to answer.

Wu Yu tried to force a "yes" from her throat, but she had gone completely mute.

Ji Shiqiu lifted his head and answered clearly and distinctly, "Got it, coming right away."

The words had barely fallen when he lowered his head and looked at Wu Yu. His eyes lingered on her face for several seconds. He smiled.

Then he released her, and without looking back, walked toward the ending that belonged to him, and out of the paradise that was destined to close for good.

✦

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Autumn With You Chapter 17

 

The Seventeenth Fallen Leaf



The arrival of this day had been within Ji Shiqiu’s expectations. After coming down from the mountain, he had grown greedy, continually deceiving himself, while knowing full well that the judgment awaiting him would come crashing down sooner or later. But it was only when Wu Yu appeared in the sweet potato field that he realized the punishment had come even faster than the judgment.

He had not touched a single one of her tears, yet his whole body felt as though it were being scorched to ashes.

Especially his heart.

The pain was beyond words.

He strode rapidly as he pulled her back to the inn, preventing her from lingering too long in the rear field of Old Zheng’s house and giving Sister Lin the chance to notice anything more amiss.

Along the way, his brows were tightly knitted, his thoughts surging and churning, unable to sort themselves out.

He did not want to be misunderstood by Wu Yu, but neither did he want to win her pity or make her cling to him through memories.

Once inside the bedroom, Ji Shiqiu immediately closed the door. He turned around, gripped Wu Yu by the shoulders, and forced her to calm down.

“I…” He had only just begun to speak when the woman was already kissing him.

She practically threw herself at him. Ji Shiqiu did not react in time and fell back against the door.

Her tongue slipped inside. Ji Shiqiu, intoxicated, sucked on it a few times. Between her lips and her eyes, with only a small gap separating them, he tried to speak.

Wu Yu blocked him again, refusing to let him speak, and giving him her answer instead.

She hooked her arms around his neck, as if she wanted to hang from his body.

Ji Shiqiu’s pupils deepened. He clasped Wu Yu around the lower back and lifted her up, kissing her fiercely, from the corner of her lips to her jaw, then burying himself against the side of her neck, sweeping over her in a wild, disorderly rush.

They began undressing each other. Their lips and teeth knocked together, the sounds of their breathing growing louder in the room, dark and delirious, while fabric rustled and rubbed against fabric.

Perhaps they were being truly honest with each other, or perhaps there was little time left. Both their emotions carried the fervor of reaching the summit and the madness of plunging to the bottom.

Wu Yu rarely behaved like this. There was no teasing, no seduction. Again and again, over and over, she only called out one person’s name in a daze, even if the name itself was a lie.

When the room finally grew quiet, the moon outside had already climbed higher.

Its shape had changed, becoming oval, like a solitary golden mango growing on its own.

Ji Shiqiu quietly held Wu Yu in his arms, his narrowed eyes making him look as though he were dozing.

Wu Yu gazed at him for a while, then pinched the tip of his nose, using it to coax his eyelids open.

She called him, “Xiao Qiu.”

Ji Shiqiu hummed in response.

Her voice was a little strange, taking on the rare high, delicate sweetness of a little girl. She sounded like a girl truly in the throes of being in love.

“Xiao~ Qiu~”

Ji Shiqiu laughed and answered with an “Ai.”

He stroked the rim of her ear. “Isn’t there anything you want to ask me?”

Wu Yu said, “I know.”

The corners of Ji Shiqiu’s lips were still curved upward. “You know what?”

“I know…” Wu Yu snuggled a little closer into his arms, finding a more comfortable position, then raised her eyes to stare at him. “You.”

Why had he once thought that her eyes were nothing more than cold camera lenses?

At this moment, Ji Shiqiu questioned himself.

When he had been in middle school, many girls in his class loved gathering together to discuss crystal-bead bracelets whose materials they could not even be sure were genuine, firmly believing that each possessed its own unique energy magnetic field.

Back then, Ji Shiqiu had remained silent, self-righteously deciding that his female peers were superstitious and cementing that judgment in his mind.

But now, he believed.

Wu Yu’s eyes were the warmest black obsidian, reflecting him, containing him, and purifying him.

The turmoil of the past many days finally found peace. Greedy beyond satisfaction, he wanted to hear her say it plainly.

“Me?”

“Mm.”

“What kind of person am I?”

Wu Yu looked at him for a while. “Very handsome, and very good.”

The most unadorned words brought about the purest reaction. Ji Shiqiu revealed a rather broad smile. “Like this…?”

Wu Yu was very certain. “Mm. Exactly like this.”

Ji Shiqiu watched her, smiling and smiling, until his eyes grew a little moist.

Her lack of curiosity, her refusal to pursue the matter, was too precious. It was an incomparable comfort.

After being gazed at for so long by the young man’s deep, earnest eyes, Wu Yu could not help herself.

“What about me? How do you see me?”

Ji Shiqiu blinked, suppressing the soreness and bitterness at the tip of his nose. He was even a little at a loss for words.

“…I don’t know.”

He did not know.

“What?” Wu Yu pretended to be unhappy, clenched her fist and lightly struck his chest, gritting her teeth. “You don’t know?”

He did not know.

He only knew…

Ji Shiqiu suddenly raised his eyebrows and sat up. He dragged over the long trousers at the foot of the bed and took something from the pocket.

Because it had been folded down for too long and then pressed beneath something, the leaf had already become soft and wrinkled, while its tender stem had tangled itself into a knot, making it somewhat difficult to unravel.

He sat there carefully putting it together, and Wu Yu leaned over to take a look as well.

She discovered that he had made a sweet potato leaf pendant.

She had made one at home when she was little, too.

Her mother had a strange and quick-tempered disposition, and none of the girls her age around her were willing to play with her. In late summer, as autumn approached, she would amuse herself by sitting beside the sweet potato field, plucking the leaves and breaking them apart evenly, section by section. Their veins remained connected, and the slender green stems were not easy to break, turning them into naturally made strings of beads. Just as balsam flower juice could be applied to the fingernails as rouge, these radiant plants had adorned almost every girl’s childhood.

To make sure he did not break them, Ji Shiqiu separated the veins with the utmost patience. Finally, he let out a breath and spread two intact “earrings” across his palm.

“You don’t have pierced ears,” he said, glancing at Wu Yu’s earlobes, then lowering his head. “Besides, they’re not very fresh anymore.”

But Wu Yu quickly snatched them over, hanging one on each ear. She even shook them childishly, letting the leaves brush against her cheeks.

She could not see herself, so the two hung at different lengths. Ji Shiqiu laughed when he saw it and reached over to straighten them for her.

“Do they look good?” Wu Yu asked.

Ji Shiqiu did not take his eyes off her. “They look good.”

Wu Yu narrowed her eyes slightly. “How did you know this could be made into earrings and necklaces?”

Ji Shiqiu froze for a moment.

Wu Yu’s tone turned threatening. “Tell me. Have you made them for other girls before?”

Ji Shiqiu looked innocent. “Only for my mom, when I was little.”

He did not know how to describe what was good about her.

He only knew...

In this lifetime, the second girl who had made him instinctively want to make a sweet potato leaf pendant for her, besides his mother, was only her.

And it could only be this way.

Ji Shiqiu’s expression darkened slightly. He quickly concealed it, but Wu Yu caught it. She leaned closer and pressed down on the back of his hand, no longer concealing her plan.

“Ji Shiqiu, leave with me tonight.”

Ji Shiqiu looked at her in astonishment.

The corners of his lips drew in slightly, but he did not respond.

Wu Yu had always been straightforward. “I saw your wanted notice online before. Today, I went next door to buy cigarettes and discovered that they’d posted it in the village too...” She stopped herself from making the statement too cruel, leaving an appropriate amount unsaid. “So...”

So that was why she was in such a hurry.

“We can’t put it off any longer. We’re leaving tonight.” Once the sun rose tomorrow, in this cramped little village, more people would see that notice. Sister Lin, Old Zheng... everyone who had seen Ji Shiqiu’s face.

Wu Yu did not dare think any further.

She could guarantee that she herself would not waver, but the scales between emotion and justice weighed differently in everyone’s heart.

But it did not matter.

She had thrown herself recklessly toward him, and she was bound to take responsibility for him to the very end.

She was the one who had pulled him down from the cliff.

So she would give him more opportunities and more time to experience the mountains and sea, and true affection.

She had never been favored by God since the day she was born. Since she was going to hell anyway, she might as well walk that dark road all the way to the end.

From childhood to adulthood, falling into ruin had been her way of saving herself. She did not care. It did not matter.

Ji Shiqiu was the first person she had ever wanted to save. If not for that chance encounter in this autumn, she would never have met someone like him in her entire life.

He was outstanding, sincere, clean and without blemish, someone who should have been destined for the bright summit of a mountain. It was only because of that little storm that the fork in fate had sent him to her side.

If fate was meant to be this way,

she was willing to sink with him.

Time was pressing. Wu Yu stopped thinking further, pulled on her clothes and got out of bed. Her expression calm, she began packing her things, and asked, “You didn’t have your ID card then. How did you get here by car from the north?”

Ji Shiqiu watched her slender figure moving busily, his brows drawing tightly together, his eyes shaken.

When Wu Yu saw that he did not answer, she turned around and urged him, “Why are you just sitting there like an idiot? Aren’t you getting out of bed to pack?”

Ji Shiqiu’s expression suddenly relaxed. He got out of bed to help, and also answered her earlier question.

“After leaving home, I walked for a long time, all the way to the national highway. I flagged down a private car and asked if he could give me a ride for part of the way. That uncle was a good person. He said he would only charge me half the expressway toll.”

Wu Yu briskly stuffed things into the luggage bag. “Good. We’ll keep walking too, and use the same method.”

Ji Shiqiu looked at her. “Won’t Lin-jie find it strange if we leave in such a hurry?”

Wu Yu stopped and was silent for a moment.

“I’ll just say my dad is critically ill and I have to hurry home to see him one last time.”

Ji Shiqiu suddenly smiled.

Wu Yu shot him a glance. “What are you laughing at?”

Ji Shiqiu said, “The way you make up lies is quite...”

“Quite what?”

“Quite cute.”

Wu Yu kicked him.

Ji Shiqiu did not dodge, leaving a shoe print on his trouser leg.

He asked, “Have you decided where we’re going?”

Wu Yu answered honestly, “I haven’t. I haven’t had time to think about it yet. We’ll try to leave the province, then find somewhere as remote and beautiful as Suixiu, somewhere with mountains.” She was already imagining the future, and repeated, “There have to be mountains.”

Ji Shiqiu tucked a loose strand of hair behind her, then straightened the sweet potato leaf earring tangled in her hair. “Aren’t you afraid?”

Wu Yu looked back at him. “Afraid of what?”

Ji Shiqiu said, “What if we get caught?”

Wu Yu gave a slight shrug. “Then we get caught. Prison is still better than my home.”

There was a sense of conviction and security in her that was completely at odds with her small frame.

“You might not know this, but I escaped too. We’re no different. This time, I’m taking you and running. You don’t have to worry about going hungry or freezing, you don’t have to sit outside alone for so long, and you can even bring your mom to see the sunrise over another mountain. You can compare it and see what’s different from the one on Lian Mountain.”

She said it so casually, yet Ji Shiqiu’s eyes grew slightly moist.

“There probably isn’t much difference,” he said.

Wu Yu disagreed. “How could there be?” Mountains rose and fell at different heights, so naturally the scenery would be different.

Ji Shiqiu looked at her.

“But there is only this one sun.”

Wu Yu froze, and said nothing more.

They had almost finished packing. Wu Yu opened her phone and glanced at it. It was already nearly eight.

The people of Suixiu Mountain rose with the sun and rested when it set. Based on her observations over the past few days, leaving between nine-thirty and ten would be the safest time.

Thinking of this, she could not help letting out a long breath. There was also the tightness in her chest that came before fleeing. She turned to Ji Shiqiu and said, “I’m going to take a shower, then you shower. Once we’re done, we’ll leave.”

Ji Shiqiu nodded. “Okay.”

Wu Yu did not stay under the showerhead for long. Rubbing the wet ends of her hair as she came out, she was just about to urge Ji Shiqiu to take his turn when her gaze stopped, her movements abruptly freezing.

All the things in the room that had already been packed away had been returned to their original places.

And Ji Shiqiu was sitting at the foot of the bed in silence, as though waiting for her.

Wu Yu stared at him in astonishment.

The young man’s hands, resting on his thighs, slowly curled into fists.

“What are you doing?” For a moment, Wu Yu could neither process nor understand it.

He stood up in one motion and walked straight toward her. Once he stopped, his heavy figure cast a shadow over her.

“Wu Yu.” He called her by name. “I want to tell you something.”

“You’ve changed your mind?” Wu Yu faintly sensed what was coming. “You don’t want to leave with me anymore?”

Ji Shiqiu pressed his lips together hard, turned his head aside, and took a deep breath. Finally, he looked at her again.

“While you were taking a shower, I used your phone to send the police a text message reporting myself.”

✦

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Autumn With You Chapter 16

 

The Sixteenth Fallen Leaf



Wu Yu had not kept close count of the days, but there was a countdown app on her phone. When she had first made up her mind to run away from home, she had already decided that if, after one hundred days, neither her family nor the police had found her and brought her back, she would leave that damnable place, Qianzhou, forever, that gloomy, dark home of hers that was like a swamp and a prison.

Before going to bed, she opened the app and subtracted another day, only to realize that today was already the seventh day since she had met Ji Shiqiu.

A week.

A surge of overwhelming crisis rose within her. While Ji Shiqiu was fast asleep, Wu Yu opened once again the Weibo notice she had saved.

For the past two or three days, whenever Ji Shiqiu was busy downstairs, she would repeatedly refresh similar posts, keeping up with the police's latest developments.

There was not much new content in the comments section.

The internet was like this. Every round of trending searches was like a free music festival. After the brief revelry, everyone scattered like birds and beasts, leaving behind nothing but a mess.

Wu Yu felt that she was the person left behind to pick up the garbage.

She kept returning to the “original spot” and conducting a carpet search, but could no longer obtain any useful information.

Wu Yu fell into confusion.

But there was one thing she was very clear about. Since she had already decided to become Ji Shiqiu's accomplice, she had to prepare for a longer-term escape.

She concealed it well, making sure the other person noticed nothing, and did everything she could to prevent him from going outside.

She had not lied, either. In Wu Yu's eyes, Ji Shiqiu was simply Ji Shiqiu, nothing more.

Wu Yu had committed no actual crime, but in essence, she was no different from Ji Shiqiu.

She too was someone who did not consider the future, drifting along, muddling through, half-dead and half-alive, passive yet violent.

But fortunately, she had not been hunted down. She had money and free time, and could help prolong the time before his misfortune arrived.

She knew that they did not have many days left to remain in Suixiu.

She believed Ji Shiqiu knew it too, but he did not reveal the slightest hint of it. He ate when it was time to eat and slept when it was time to sleep, like any person earnestly living their life or enjoying a trip, in a secluded paradise known to few.

Wu Yu felt that he was waiting, waiting for the long night to truly descend.

But she could not simply sit and wait for death.

As for that sword of Damocles, she did not mind whether it would also come crashing down upon her own neck.

Everything came at a price.

Paying for one's choices was the law of the universe. Holding on to this thought, Wu Yu quietly began the first step of her relocation plan.

Taking advantage of trips to the convenience store to replenish her cigarettes, she would buy a suitable amount of bread, cup noodles, and drinking water, accumulating them little by little. That way, when the time came to truly run, she could avoid many troubles.

Huang Mao had noticed that she had been coming by frequently these days, and was quite surprised.

“Beautiful girl, I thought you went home.”

Wu Yu said, “I'm getting ready to leave.”

Huang Mao counted the money and teased her, “Can't bear to leave our place? Feeling down, so even your smoking addiction's gotten worse?”

Wu Yu tapped the cigarette box against the counter. She did not deny it.

“A little.”

Just as she was about to put a cigarette between her lips and walk out, Wu Yu heard some movement outside. It was the voices of two middle-aged men, muttering and discussing something.

“This spot, this spot.”

“Should we put it a little higher?”

“I think facing outward would be better. That way, we'll be able to see everyone coming and going.”

Wu Yu focused her attention and saw two men who looked like village officials. One was balding, the other wore glasses. Both were potbellied and not particularly tall. They were standing behind a utility pole not far from the shop entrance, putting up something, all the while chattering without pause.

Wu Yu lowered her head and shielded the flame as she lit her cigarette. She took two steps forward, wanting to see clearly what exactly they were messing around with.

Wu Yu did not go any farther.

Her head went blank with a buzz, as though she had fallen into an icy cellar.

Even though she could not make out the information and photographs in black characters on a white background, she could guess the contents in a single second.

After all, she could practically recite the entire thing by heart.

The first thing Wu Yu did was look toward the blonde-haired man behind the shop counter. Fortunately, he was completely absorbed in his game and had no time to gossip about what was happening here.

Wu Yu pretended to play with her phone, tapping her toes. It was only when cigarette ash fell onto the screen that she realized she had forgotten to take a drag for quite some time.

From the corner of her eye, she waited until the two men had ridden their electric scooters away in opposite directions. She looked around, checked several times to confirm that there was no one nearby and no cameras, then hurried over to the cement-gray utility pole.

It was plastered with a jumble of filthy little “dog-skin-plaster” advertisements, but the most conspicuous and newest one was Ji Shiqiu's wanted reward notice.

Without thinking, she tore it down.

The paper had only just been pasted up with paste and had not yet dried, so when it came into Wu Yu's hands, it was still completely intact.

Wu Yu folded it twice, tucked it into the pocket of her cardigan, then hurried toward the main road leading out of the village.

She kept walking, kept walking, facing the biting afternoon wind. On either side were fertile rice paddies. Where she was going, she did not know. She only knew that she had to go as far away as possible. She could not let more people in the village see this notice.

She turned onto the narrow field ridge and continued walking.

The soles of her shoes were thin, and the gravel began to hurt the bottoms of her feet. Wu Yu felt it, but she could not stop, not until she saw a large stretch of gray-green reeds surrounding a fishpond.

The ground beside the pond was wet. Wu Yu slid down the earthen slope, one foot sinking deeper than the other, and came to a timely stop at the bank, without letting the toes of her shoes disappear into the surging river water.

The countryside was empty in every direction, not a soul in sight.

Wu Yu still crouched down warily, using the wall of reeds as cover. She took out the notice. Afraid that the half-dried paste would cause it to stick together, she carefully flattened it out.

Perhaps the weather was poor, the light dim, or perhaps it was the change of background color. The boy in the photograph looked even paler and more detached. Aside from the fearlessness he had shown before, there was now something almost indifferent about his face.

Wu Yu stared at it for a while.

She took out her lighter, snapped open the lid, and set fire to the upper-right corner of the paper. The flickering scarlet spread outward, the flames leaping. Just as the fire was about to reach the edge of the boy's photograph, Wu Yu suddenly seemed to awaken from a dream and plunged it into the river water beside her feet.

She had meant to destroy it, but for some reason, she could not stand by and watch him burn to nothing. It was ominous, and too cruel.

The fire went out instantly, and black smoke drifted and curled upward.

When she took out what little remained of the paper, the image of the person on it was soaked through as well. The paper was astonishingly poor in quality. After being subjected to both water and fire, it fell apart at the slightest movement, sticking into a soggy mess. The eyes were no longer eyes, the nose no longer a nose, and the original features could no longer be made out.

Wu Yu's eyes reddened and grew wet in the wind. She drew a deep breath through her aching nose and turned her face away, as though she had solidified there, not moving a muscle.

After a long while, she viciously crumpled the wet paper into a ball. She stood up and, with all her strength, hurled it into the pond.

Silver ripples spread across the water in an instant, then quickly settled back to normal.

—

After returning to the village by the same route, Wu Yu did not hurry back to the inn. Instead, she went farther afield and walked around for a while. All the shops, all the utility poles, every wall within sight, she left nothing unchecked.

It was nearing evening. Every household had returned home to cook, leaving only the chilly slanting sunlight on the brick-paved roads, along with lingering cats and stray dogs.

Wu Yu had never felt so desperate.

The notices had been posted far more densely than she had expected. They could be seen everywhere.

She did not know how the police had managed to trace things to here, or perhaps they had followed some clue and launched a radiating, village-by-village search throughout the surrounding area.

There was simply no way to tear them all down. And if she removed too many, it would only draw attention.

Wu Yu looked back over the places she and Ji Shiqiu had visited these past few days, the people they had seen. Along the way, the sound of the wind, the sound of breathing, the noise of stir-frying, the beating of egrets' wings, all seemed magnified countless times, pressing in on her senses from every direction.

Wu Yu felt a dull ache at her temples.

In the end, before returning home, she deleted the only photograph of the notice from her phone.

It was as though the world had finally grown quiet, and clean, too.

The door to Sister Lin's inn was half-shut, and there was no smell of food.

Wu Yu immediately became uneasy. She hurried a few steps inside, only to discover that there was no one there. Upstairs and downstairs, nowhere.

An unknown panic, like a black vine, began growing wildly from the soles of her feet, wrapping her entire body in its coils. Nearly suffocating, Wu Yu ran around the front and back of the house, but saw no sign of Ji Shiqiu or Sister Lin.

She did not dare ask the neighbors, afraid of revealing something.

So she turned back toward the depths of the village and searched without overlooking a single corner. When she found no one among the residences, she widened her search and went farther out into the fields.

Countless ominous thoughts lingered in her mind, and her stomach had begun to cramp. Suddenly, she remembered Old Zheng, Sister Lin's lover.

She asked an old man sitting outside his house, drinking with salted peanuts as a snack, where the “Mr. Zheng who used to teach music” lived. Fortunately, the village was small, and everyone was constantly crossing paths with everyone else. There were only a few people of any standing, and Old Zheng was one of them. The old man quickly pointed her in the right direction.

Wu Yu ran there without hesitation.

Sure enough, in the fields behind Old Zheng's house, she saw Ji Shiqiu and Sister Lin.

The boy was helping pick sweet potatoes. The setting sun gilded half his body in golden red. He looked so bright, so vivid, and yet so fragile, as though he would be swallowed up by the night.

The fine veins at Wu Yu's temples stood out. She walked straight toward him.

Ji Shiqiu noticed her too. He slowly straightened, just about to smile and wave at her, when the woman had already grabbed the sweet potatoes piled at the edge of the field and, with all her strength, hurled them at him. As she walked, she cursed, throwing one after another.

“What are you running around for?”

“Did I tell you to run?”

“Is it going to kill you to stay put?”

“If you don't want to have an easy time, then don't make me suffer!”

……

Ji Shiqiu had initially raised his hands in confusion to dodge a couple of them, but the moment her words left her mouth, the vivid expression on his face dimmed.

Ji Shiqiu did not move again.

The last sweet potato, thrown from close range, struck him squarely on the left cheek.

The force was enough to make his head turn slightly away. The pain spread across his face, but Ji Shiqiu did not raise a hand to cover it. He did not move at all.

Sister Lin stood stupidly not far away, unable to understand what was happening, even less able to react.

Wu Yu stepped into the mud and crossed through the clusters of sweet potato leaves, walking quickly until she reached Ji Shiqiu.

She looked up at him. Her lips trembled uncontrollably, and all she could do was bite them tightly shut.

The boy's eyes were also shining sharply as they fixed on her.

They resonated with each other, at the same frequency as her trembling lips.

Wu Yu wanted to ask him, Does it hurt?

But she could not get the words out.

She only noticed that some flecks of mud had been left around his cheekbone, starkly conspicuous against his clean face.

She raised her hand and tried to wipe them away, but no matter how she rubbed, she could not clean them off. Instead, the dirty area only grew larger.

The motion of caressing turned into an urgent scrubbing.

Wu Yu's tears fell like a sudden rainstorm.

At a loss, she pulled up her sleeve, wanting to use another way to clean him.

But Ji Shiqiu, as though suddenly waking up, caught her wrist, gripped it tightly, and pulled her away from the sweet-potato field where dusk was about to descend.

✦

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Autumn With You Chapter 15

 

The Fifteenth Fallen Leaf



Wu Yu had grown disinclined to go outside. Over the past few days, whenever she found the chance, she had wandered everywhere, enveloped by the mountains and steeped in the wind. But these past two days, aside from eating, she spent most of her time curled up in bed, playing on her phone or sleeping. Only when her craving for cigarettes came did she go behind the window to smoke.

She had also found a reasonable and impeccable excuse: pretending to be sick, claiming that Ji Shiqiu had passed his cold on to her.

That was why she had begun suffering from headaches, becoming prone to laziness and weakness all over.

This also allowed them to avoid having Ji Shiqiu appear in public and be seen by more villagers or cameras.

The boy was easy enough to fool. He seemed to believe it completely, but he could not stay cooped up in the room from morning till night. Autumn was harvest season, and there was plenty of farm work to be done. Sister Lin had neither sons nor daughters. After her husband had gone away to work, he had disappeared without a trace, while her new beau, Old Zheng, had difficulty walking. This unidentified young man therefore became the best farmhand she could have asked for.

He was mysterious, but Sister Lin did not care about that.

All she knew was that Ji Shiqiu was handsome, polite, obedient, and capable. His efficiency at farm work in a single day was who knew how many times greater than in previous years.

Especially after she had secretly told him that helping her with the work could save Wu Yu the cost of her lodging, the boy became even more hardworking.

She could tell that he liked Wu Yu.

And she could not help regretting that it would have been wonderful if Wu Yu were her daughter.

She lived alone, and opening a homestay was partly because she wanted the place to be livelier. But Suixiu was a remote little village, its houses with their worn-out tiles, nothing like the other villages in southern Anhui. Hardly any tourists came throughout the year.

All she wanted was a pretty daughter she could bicker with, and then a dependable son-in-law who was tolerant of her, someone who spoke less and did more.

How happy she would be then, how complete this life of hers would be, just like the moon in the sky these past few days, so perfectly round.

Wu Yu had not left the house for two days, and Sister Lin found it strange. Looking at Ji Shiqiu, who was shucking corn beside the door, she asked, “Xiao Qiu, what’s wrong with Wu Yu?”

Ji Shiqiu said, “A cold. She isn’t feeling well.”

Sister Lin laughed. “How come you two young people have fallen ill one after another? I’m nearly fifty, and I’m still as strong as an ox.”

Ji Shiqiu’s lips curved at her description.

Sister Lin rubbed both hands on her apron, then walked closer to him. “You don’t have to keep helping me with the work all the time. Go upstairs and check on her.”

Ji Shiqiu said, “She told me to come down and help you whenever I had nothing to do.”

Sister Lin pushed his shoulder. “Go, go, upstairs. Staying cooped up in that room without any ventilation, how is she supposed to get better? Tell her to come out this afternoon and help pick osmanthus flowers.”

Ji Shiqiu nodded in agreement.

When he returned upstairs to the room, Wu Yu was indeed still lazing in bed. Perhaps she had heard the door open. The woman, lying on her side, turned her head and glanced at him before turning her face away again.

Ji Shiqiu walked to the bedside. “Feeling any better?”

Wu Yu looked as though she could not be bothered with him. “No.”

Ji Shiqiu asked, “Does your head still hurt?”

Wu Yu said, “Mm.”

She sat up, looking listless and distant. “What are you doing up here?”

Ji Shiqiu said, “Lin-jie called you downstairs to pick osmanthus flowers.”

Wu Yu asked, “Where?”

Ji Shiqiu replied, “I didn’t ask.”

Wu Yu said, “If it’s far, I’m not going. I don’t feel well. I can’t walk.”

Ji Shiqiu looked at her for several seconds, then bent down and pulled open the bedside table drawer, rummaging for the mercury thermometer he had used before.

Wu Yu realized what he was looking for. “You’re looking for the thermometer?”

Ji Shiqiu answered, “Mm.”

Wu Yu said, “I gave it back to Lin-jie.”

Ji Shiqiu turned to leave the room, but Wu Yu called him to a stop. She crooked a finger at him, leaning sideways against the edge of the bed. “You take my temperature.”

Ji Shiqiu paused. He walked around from the foot of the bed to her side, bending down to test her forehead with the back of his hand.

Wu Yu raised one finger and held him off.

“Use your forehead to take my temperature.”

She looked at him quietly, teasing yet alluring.

Ji Shiqiu fell silent. His Adam’s apple moved once. With one hand pressed against the bedboard, he lifted her face with the other and brought his forehead against hers.

Their breaths mingled, their gazes tangled. He had no intention of flirting. He pressed against her forehead again and again, very seriously, making certain each time.

Their temperatures were almost exactly the same.

At such close distance, the woman suddenly began to giggle, as though a prank had succeeded, her breath spraying across the tip of his nose.

Their foreheads parted, but his lips covered hers, catching the unrestrained blossoms of her laughter between them before sending them back.

Wu Yu’s breathing grew disordered. Her arms curled around him, entwining him, and she no longer let go.

Ji Shiqiu guessed that she was pretending to be sick, but he had his own understanding of it. Wu Yu had always been someone who did whatever she pleased. It was hardly surprising for her to have a different idea from one second to the next.

As for him, all he needed to do was fulfill his promise, using every present moment to accompany her on her adventures.

As for everything else, he did not dare think about it. Or perhaps the coaxing and reassuring he used on himself was that it should not come so quickly.

Every household in Suixiu Village had an osmanthus tree, some Golden Osmanthus and some Sweet Osmanthus.

The flowers of the Sweet Osmanthus tended toward orange-red, while the Golden Osmanthus was lemon-yellow. The ones planted behind Sister Lin’s house were the most common Golden Osmanthus, two trees growing side by side. Clusters of blossoms gathered among their dark-green branches and leaves, appearing shy and bashful, yet upon drawing closer, one found the flowers almost too generous. Their fragrance was so rich it seemed unreasonable, flowing out like honey and, without giving anyone a choice, enveloping everyone beneath the trees in a deep golden luxuriance.

“I loved osmanthus the most when I was in school.” Wu Yu kept both hands in her trouser pockets, tilting her head up at the hazy halos of light appearing and disappearing between the flowers and leaves. “Other flowers never have such a strong presence.”

Sister Lin was spreading some unused bedsheets over the grassy earth to catch the falling flowers. “Aren’t peach blossoms flowers? Aren’t roses flowers? Which flower isn’t more eye-catching than osmanthus?”

Wu Yu did not agree.

In her eyes, no flower could be like osmanthus, needing no sight of its blossoms, relying on scent alone to tell her so clearly and unmistakably that autumn had arrived.

Sister Lin found Wu Yu in the way and told her to stand off to the side. She then raised the bamboo pole and taught Ji Shiqiu how to knock the flower branches.

Ji Shiqiu shook his head. “No need. I used to do this at home.”

Wu Yu said, “Did you climb trees and shake them when you were little?”

Ji Shiqiu gave her a speechless look.

He said nothing, simply rolled up his sleeves and took the bamboo pole, concentrating as he swung it against the flower branches. A rain of osmanthus flowers rustled down, soon covering the bedsheets in a thin layer of pale-golden, fragrant snow.

Sister Lin watched for a while, satisfied, then left. She had to go to the chicken coop to feed the chickens and collect the eggs, so she let them keep knocking the flowers for the time being.

When she came back, she did not expect to find Wu Yu already sprawled brazenly across the bedsheet, contentedly squinting her eyes as she let the bright flower flakes and specks of light scatter all over her body and face.

And the person knocking down the flowers acted as though he had not seen her at all, continuing to knock the osmanthus flowers on his own.

Sister Lin stared in astonishment and hurried over. “Get up. Don’t get my flowers dirty.”

Wu Yu lazily raised her lips, remaining utterly unmoved.

With no other choice, Sister Lin went to Ji Shiqiu. “Stop, stop! Can’t you see a whole living person lying there!?”

Ji Shiqiu lowered the pole and leaned on it. “Let her lie there.”

Sister Lin shouted, “If she lies all over them, can I still use these flowers to make pastries?”

As she spoke, she reached out to take the bamboo pole back from Ji Shiqiu. He dodged slightly and refused to give it back. She could only pretend to be angry, planting her hands on her hips. “Oh, so the two of you have joined forces to bully me now, huh?”

Ji Shiqiu bargained with her. “One minute.”

The smile on the boy’s face made him difficult to refuse. Sister Lin could only put on a tough front, shooting a glance at the osmanthus Sleeping Beauty lying there as though she had every right to be. “Fine, fine, fine. I’ll deduct the cost of the osmanthus from your room fee.”

With that, she left, giving the two of them some space.

Watching her lift the door curtain and return inside, Ji Shiqiu raised the bamboo pole once more.

When he had read Dream of the Red Chamber in middle school, he could never have imagined Xiangyun drunkenly reclining on a peony mat. But the woman beneath the osmanthus tree helped him achieve a certain kind of resonance and communion across time and space.

So he would rather anger Sister Lin than let this scene disappear too quickly.

The fragrance of the osmanthus was almost chokingly strong. Wu Yu sniffed, then shifted from the middle of the bedsheet toward the side. She patted the empty spot beside her. “Ji Shiqiu, come here.”

Ji Shiqiu was slightly taken aback.

Seeing that he made no move, Wu Yu’s tone became somewhat more impatient and commanding. “Come here. Lie down.”

She also asked him for the bamboo pole.

Ji Shiqiu approached, his long shadow falling over her. “Lin-jie will be even angrier, won’t she?”

Wu Yu looked at his face against the light, the flower branches swaying behind him. “Why do you care about her?”

Ji Shiqiu did as she said.

The person holding the pole beneath the rain of osmanthus flowers, and the creator of the scene, had become Wu Yu, while he became the person simply enjoying the curtain of rain.

When he was little, Ji Shiqiu had been caught in many rains. His father had dragged him outside and refused to let him back into the house. He had pounded on the door again and again to no avail, able only to stand there in despair with his back against the wall, using the cramped eaves above his head for shelter. Thunderstorms had been close at hand, the whole world shrouded in smoke, lightning capable of destroying him at any moment, while his mother’s shrill cries and tears inside the house were like a damp, overcast rainy season, stretching endlessly into the distance.

The wind was gentle, and there was the fragrance of flowers in the light.

They had all become tangible things, sheets of pure golden foil, scattered little stars, lightly dripping down onto his cheeks.

This was a kind of rain he had never even dared dream of.

It possessed a poetic holiness, capable of washing away the mold and withered duckweed that had gathered in his heart.

Ji Shiqiu comfortably closed his eyes.

Seeing how effortlessly Ji Shiqiu handled it, Wu Yu had underestimated how difficult knocking the osmanthus flowers would be. She sat there, holding the slender pole and poking at the branches for a while. Her arms soon began to ache slightly, so she lowered it and rubbed and kneaded her shoulders.

When she turned her head, she found the boy lying there with his arm beneath his head, seemingly already asleep.

Loose osmanthus flowers clustered around him. One had happened to land right on the tip of his nose, looking somewhat comical. She leaned over, intending to blow it away for him, but after thinking about it, stopped.

She could not bear to blow it away.

She felt that it belonged there.

She had just been about to lie back down and bask in the sun while breathing in the floral fragrance when a hand closed around her upper arm, pulling her down and, without giving her a chance to resist, drawing her tightly into his embrace.

From beginning to end, Ji Shiqiu never opened his eyes.

As long as he did not open his eyes, the dream would not wake, and the golden rain would never stop.

✦

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