Thoughts on a Quiet Night Chapter 29

Spring

Danhu and Xiao Wei’s wedding took place in spring.

When the two lovers, who had been separated for two years, reunited, they were nothing like other couples who needed time to sort through their feelings and fall in love all over again. The two of them moved as swiftly as if they had boarded a rocket. They met in winter and got married in spring, as though there would never be another tomorrow and they simply could not afford to wait for anything.

Danhu even sincerely said to Sizhao, “Thank you for not becoming paralyzed or dying. Otherwise, I don’t know how much longer I would have had to put things off for your sake.”

“You’re welcome,” Sizhao said coldly.

Zhuyu had assumed that the newlyweds were the Westernized sort, and perhaps would not hold a traditional wedding. Who could have known that they would instead throw a lively wedding banquet at a Cantonese restaurant in the city? The groom did not have many relatives, just his older brother and his family. The bride’s side, however, came in a huge crowd. Along with the newlyweds’ friends, there were more than twenty tables.

Once the fine food and wine had been eaten and drunk, the later after-party was the real highlight. A crescent moon hung in the sky, while little lights encircled the lawn. The young couple took off their wedding dress and suit and changed into a black floor-length dress and a printed shirt. Holding hands, the two began dancing the Argentine tango. The girl’s movements were graceful and unhurried. The man was very tall, yet not awkward in the slightest, carrying himself with effortless elegance. The guests sat below the stage, with self-service food and drinks arranged all around them, gathering in small groups of two or three. The night was cool and pleasant, stars scattered across the sky, the fragrance of flowers drifting through the air. Everyone was relaxed and happy.

When the song ended, the couple picked up the microphones for the first time and said a few words of thanks to their friends, thanking everyone for coming that night and telling them to eat and drink well. They did not mention a single thing about how the two had met or fallen in love, nor did they shed a single tear. Although they had held a traditional wedding banquet during the day, the two were downright stingy with their words. If something did not need to be said, they did not say it. Taking the principle that anyone who came was a guest and anyone who sat down should start eating, they quietly muddled their way through the wedding banquet.

The moment Danhu finished speaking, the young boys below began shouting, “Brother-in-law, how did you meet our sister?” They were Meng Wei’s younger brothers and cousins, all in their teens and at the most rambunctious age.

Then another voice suddenly rose from the side. This time, it came from a long-haired young man who looked about the same age as Danhu and Meng Wei. Mimicking the boys’ tone, he called out, “Brother-in-law, how did you meet our sister!” The moment he finished, he burst into helpless laughter. The tall woman beside him was laughing too. They were Meng Wei’s closest friends from her school days, Takahashi Wu and Cheng Jiayu.

“We met in the library. We were both extremely hardworking students. We studied together, wrote papers together, helped each other, and made progress together...” He had not even finished before the people below began booing him.

Hou Zicheng’s was the loudest of all. He stood on a chair and shouted to everyone around him, “Danhu spent more than ten years in school, and he never read a book in private. I can testify to that!”

Meng Wei took the microphone. “Mm, we really didn’t meet for the first time in the library. Actually, we met while doing work-study jobs.”

“Nope, either,” Hou Zicheng cut in. “The first time they met was at my house. At the time, Danhu was playing Texas Hold’em like crazy, winning huge amounts of money from other people, and even forcing those who lost to pay in cash. If they didn’t have cash, they had to go outside and find an ATM.”

Hou Zicheng recounted this rather proudly to the people beside him.

“That’s right, it was that day. That was also the first time I met Meng Wei. I went to ask her to ghostwrite my paper for me, and the two of us met at your house. Although she ultimately didn’t write it for me, I have to say, these two really are a perfect match. On the same day, in the same place, they both helped keep some illegal activities alive.”

Xing Wenqian turned her head and started chatting with Hou Zicheng.

Xing Wenqian and Meng Wei had only been ordinary acquaintances when they were in school. They had actually grown closer after graduation. Meng Wei worked at a theater in Britain, while Xing Wenqian used her family’s money to start a business and established a clothing brand in Britain. On weekends, the two would make plans to eat together and go shopping, and their relationship slowly changed from acquaintances with some old grudges between them into friendship.

Meng Wei had forgotten that she was still holding the microphone.

“Wasn’t it you who begged me?!”

Well, there it was. This confirmed that she really had been involved in illegal activities.

“Impressive. Who would’ve thought this couple were actually a pair of criminal lovers?” Zhuyu said to Sizhao beside her.

Sizhao shook his head and said knowingly that the two of them really were no good. He had dealt with them two years ago. At the time, he had wanted to take his younger brother back to China, but Meng Wei had actually come to him carrying an ultrasound report and told him she was pregnant. The child couldn’t be without a father. He couldn’t take her boyfriend away.

It had all been fake!

“Huh?!” Zhuyu’s eyes widened. That move had been seriously brilliant. She truly admired it.

Danhu and Meng Wei exchanged a glance, and the same thought rose in both their minds.

They should have known better and not said a single word. The moment they opened their mouths, these bastards would start exposing them.

But if the things they had done back in school had not been so “spectacular,” so unforgettable, nobody would still remember them now.

The DJ received the signal and promptly played the appropriate song, Do You Want to Dance? The young people present immediately perked up when they heard a song they liked. Energized by its lively rhythm, one after another they got to their feet and started moving. The newlyweds let out a breath.

They had finally escaped that ordeal.

“Big Brother, are you coming too?” Danhu waved lazily at Sizhao.

A hundred days to heal after an injury to the muscles and bones. Sizhao’s leg had not healed yet, and he was still sitting in a wheelchair. Whenever he had the chance to get on his big brother’s nerves, Danhu went all out. Such opportunities were not to be missed.

His new bride thumped him on the shoulder.

“Are you annoying or what?”

Meng Wei grabbed Danhu and pulled him into the crowd. Everyone put their hands on the shoulders of the person in front of them and, following the music, formed a human train.

The seats below suddenly emptied out, leaving only two people.

“You go too,” Sizhao said to Zhuyu.

She shook her head.

Tonight, Zhuyu was wearing a rouge-colored dress. She had drunk some champagne, and her cheeks were flushed with tipsiness.

“Alright. Once you’re better, we’ll go together.”

They walked to a secluded spot in the garden where there were fewer people. The winter jasmine in the corner was flourishing, cascading down like a waterfall and covering the wall completely. With only the slightest bit of moonlight, it could shine brilliantly enough to dazzle the eyes.

Zhuyu sat down on the stone steps and rested her head on Sizhao’s lap. Sitting in his wheelchair, Sizhao gently stroked his lover’s long hair, smooth as silk.

Over the past six months, it seemed they had completed some of the most important things in their lives. Like people who had carried crosses on their backs for years, they had finally put those crosses down. Now they could finally breathe out a long, deep breath. This peaceful, worry-free moment even felt a little unfamiliar.

“Haha, alright. I’ll tell you, then. Great-Grandma Chen insisted that I ride a horse up the mountain. I was wandering around up there without any idea what I was doing. While I was wandering around, I thought I should’ve taken a photo beforehand, so that when you woke up, you could see my cosplay. It would definitely be hilarious. You’d definitely laugh.”

This was the question Sizhao had been hounding her about for a long time. He had asked her whether she had gone up the mountain in January, how she had gotten up there, and what she had gone there to do.

“And then?”

“Great-Grandma Chen also made me wear a vermilion mask. She told me that the mightiest generals in the world had to wear masks when they went into battle, so they could scare their enemies into shitting themselves. Wearing a mask was like a general putting on armor. It told your opponent that you were ready.”

“Huh?”

“And the plum blossoms. I picked them from the courtyard at your house. I thought that if I happened to meet the mountain god, I would give them to him. Heh, Great-Grandma Chen was just messing with me. I didn’t see anything at all, so in the end I just put the plum blossoms on the ground.”

“Oh…”

“Anything else you want to ask?”

“Mm... When you went up the mountain, did you cry? Did you say anything particularly heartfelt to me?”

“Not a single word! I’m warning you, don’t get too full of yourself.”

“Wouldn’t dare. Wouldn’t dare.”

Sizhao held back his laughter as he looked at the girl whose willow brows had drawn together in annoyance.

“It was me. I was deeply, madly in love with you. I was the one chasing after you the whole time. I thought that if you went back to Canada first, I wouldn’t be able to eat or sleep at night. I practically wanted to hide your return flight, tuck it away in a drawer in the attic, so you couldn’t fly away.”

He said these words, which were only suitable for an eighteen-year-old boy to say, in such a cool and composed tone that, unsurprisingly, Zhuyu thought he was being sarcastic. So she summoned all her strength, determined to come up with something even sharper to throw back at him.

“Oh, no, no, no. It was me, okay? It was me. I thought that if you never woke up, I’d never get married for the rest of my life. I’d just stay by your side and keep you company.”

At least half of that sentence was true, but she would absolutely never say it in a tender, lovestruck tone. It had to be delivered with this kind of sarcastic bite.

Sizhao slowly let his smile fade and said seriously, “You’re very important to me. That’s true.”

Back then, I made the right choice. Even now, the reason I try to become a better person is because you’re by my side.

I don’t care about other people’s evaluations or opinions. Strangely enough, I care very much about yours. And you happen to be the most demanding kind of person. You’re always doubting me, scrutinizing me. After all, we’ve known each other for a very long time. You’ve seen all of my words and actions without any embellishment, so there’s no way I can hide anything from you.

Now I finally don’t have to worry anymore. I’ve done some incredibly bold things. Yes, they were quite dangerous. But you won’t be able to give me negative marks for the rest of your life anymore. I’ve already proven myself.

Zhuyu turned her head to look at him. His words left her feeling deeply surprised. What was so extraordinary about her that he had thought about her this much?

“Everything I said just now was true. Not a single word was a lie. Your leaving would make me anxious and unsettled. You know what? You’re like an anchor. You make me feel at peace. Maybe saying it this way makes me sound a little timid and lowly. But I know that you’ll definitely stay by my side until the very end. Just knowing that, no matter what happens, makes me feel secure.”

“What kind of anchor?”

“The anchor that keeps a ship fixed in the sea. You’re resilient, and you care deeply about the people you love. At first, I even thought I wasn’t good enough for you. You definitely wouldn’t like someone like me. Luckily, things worked out very well for us.”

Zhuyu supported him as he slowly stood up, and the two of them strolled through the garden.

“I don’t know if I’m really that good. Maybe you just got me wrong...” she muttered. “Don’t love me too much. Maybe when you’re fifty, I’ll run off with all your money and go live abroad. That’s exactly the kind of crazy move my mom pulled.”

“Then let’s give it a try. Maybe you’ll live a very happy life and won’t want to pull a runner with all the money. The woman who originally planned to become a female thief spends her days and nights with me, and before she knows it, she’s already eighty years old. Alright, we can’t be bothered to make a fuss anymore. Might as well grow old with this man.”

“Hmph, you’re awfully confident! But fine, let’s give it a try.”

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Thoughts on a Quiet Night Chapter 28

Recovery

After being unconscious for half a month, when Sizhao woke up, the scenes from his dreams still lingered in his memory. The prickling cold of walking barefoot through the snow had felt so real, as though it had truly existed.

He had only one thought at the time: he had to tell Zhuyu about that dream.

After waiting from morning until night, Zhuyu finally arrived from Luzhen, late as usual. Sizhao was staying at a hospital in the provincial capital, where the medical facilities were better than those in Luzhen.

She propped her elbow on the edge of the bed and listened to him describe the scenes from his dream without blinking. There had been thousands upon thousands of troops stationed in the mountains, and two female generals fighting each other with spears.

“Huh? There were even female generals? That’s amazing.”

“Yeah. They rode fine horses and wore masks.” Sizhao watched Zhuyu’s expression and lowered the hands he had been gesturing with. “Do you not believe me?”

Zhuyu peeled a banana and chewed slowly. “I believe you.”

“I knew at a glance that you didn’t believe me. You must think I’ve been lying in bed for half a month and gone delirious.” Sizhao sat cross-legged on the bed, facing her.

She waved her hand cheerfully. “No, no. How could I think you’re a muddlehead? Hahahahahaha.”

Of course I think you’re a muddlehead.

“Why were the female generals fighting each other? Which general do you support?” She racked her brain for something she could ask, making it sound almost as though she were asking whether he supported Manchester United or Real Madrid.

“I don’t know why they were fighting. But I support the general wearing the red mask.” As he said this, his eyelashes suddenly lowered, then he quietly looked up at her again.

Zhuyu casually tossed the banana peel into the trash can and clapped her hands. “Another banana.”

So sweet. So good.

Sizhao had injured both his arm and his head. Fortunately, he had woken up, and the injuries were slowly healing. After examination, there were no lingering effects on his brain of the kind the doctor had described. His cognitive abilities and physical coordination were both completely intact.

But after lying in bed for half a month, he needed to do some rehabilitation exercises every day to recover to his previous level.

“What have you been doing these past two weeks? Did you miss me so much that you cried?” He held onto the parallel bars in the rehabilitation room and slowly walked, while Zhuyu stood beside him.

“Hah, how could I? I’ve been so busy these past two weeks. I’ve been selling mountain produce, running an online shop, planning everything from behind the scenes, taking charge of the whole operation, becoming a businesswoman. Every now and then, when I had nothing to do, I’d come to the hospital to see you. I’d say, ‘Sizhao, oh Sizhao, hurry up and wake up. If you don’t wake up soon, I’m going to go on a blind date.’ Tsk tsk, who would’ve thought? Three days later, you woke up.

“And even more unexpectedly, you love me so deeply that the moment you heard I was going to leave with someone else, you woke right up. Truly a medical miracle. Your love for me moved Heaven and Earth!”

The whole string of nonsense left Sizhao both irritated and unable to laugh or cry.

A while later, two major things happened.

The first was that Zhuyu’s father got married for the second time, and his middle-aged romance finally bore fruit. Although he would have to move south after the wedding to become the live-in son-in-law, the wedding still had to be held back in his hometown.

Since it was his second marriage, there was no need to make a big production of it. They simply set up four or five tables at a small restaurant on Lanqi Street and invited their relatives and friends to eat.

Third Auntie watched her own younger brother cry so hard at his wedding that he looked like he had been turned into a man made of tears, and thought to herself that this younger brother of hers was really something. All the big and small chores in the mountains, he had handed over to his daughter without the slightest hesitation, while he himself stayed at home, daintily hiding from wind and rain. And now, even better, his daughter had not yet married, but he had beaten her to it. He had even held his wedding before Zhuyu.

Perhaps this was how Heaven maintained balance.

A muddleheaded father had to be paired with a capable daughter. That was the only way the family could keep going.

Sizhao had not fully recovered from his injuries, so he went to the restaurant in a wheelchair. Now that the two of them were openly and properly a couple, they went everywhere together. Sizhao, the legendary rich man, had become the subject of increasingly outrageous rumors because he was in a wheelchair. Some people said both his legs had been run over by a truck and that he would never be able to stand again. Others said he was paralyzed from the waist down and only his upper body was normal.

In short, everyone in Luzhen believed that this remarkable Mr. Liu, after bravely rescuing a nationally protected second-class animal, had become disabled.

Although Liu Sizhao was the legendary rich man, disabled was still disabled. So Zhuyu getting together with this disabled CEO could hardly be considered a perfectly happy thing. Ah, every family had its own difficulties. No one knew what kind of hardships were hidden behind another family’s glossy exterior.

In any case, no one ever expressed any envy toward Zhuyu and Sizhao’s relationship.

Only blessings, blessings carrying a thick layer of sympathy.

Sizhao knew nothing about any of this. After his half-month-long sleep, he felt as though his mind had been purified even more thoroughly than if he had gone hiking in Tibet. He kept babbling to Zhuyu about the strange and wondrous sights he had seen in his dreams. He couldn’t bring himself to tell anyone else. At least Zhuyu would listen without making fun of him.

“The people in my dream didn’t have faces...” he said beside Zhuyu’s ear.

She was eating a bite of fresh bamboo shoot and nodded along with a hum.

The essence of the art of pretending to listen was to ask an appropriate question when necessary and repeat some of the other person’s words.

“So none of them had faces?”

“No. There was one person who had a face...” He stared at Zhuyu’s face.

That female general holding the plum branch, who had possessed both graceful beauty and a bold, spirited bearing while riding her horse. He would never forget her for the rest of his life.

“Who did?” Zhuyu waved a hand in front of his eyes. What was this guy staring blankly at?

Sizhao lowered his head again and said very quietly, “You.”

Zhuyu didn’t hear him, because her father had once again broken down in tears while making the rounds to toast everyone, his nose running as he sobbed, and she had to go help him.

At other people’s weddings, the father handed his daughter over to the groom.

In their family, the daughter handed her father over to the bride.

Sigh...

The second major thing was that Zhuyu and Hou Zicheng had originally agreed to sell Sunzi Mountain to him. Sizhao paid several times more than the original deposit and returned the money to the very displeased young man. He had made up his mind to take over the mountain and invest money into it, properly developing the mountain’s economy.

Zhuyu asked him why he had changed his mind again. She had originally thought that no matter what, Sizhao would never buy it.

There were so many legends about the mountain. Businesspeople cared most about good omens, so she could understand if he wanted to give the mountain a wide berth.

“The worst thing that could happen has already happened. I don’t have to be afraid of anything else now.” His expression was completely calm, which surprised Zhuyu somewhat.

“And besides, I believe they’ve already decided to give up hunting me down.” He pointed toward the sky. “You went up the mountain and reasoned with them, didn’t you? I heard about it from my family.”

“Hey, it was just folk custom...” Zhuyu quickened her steps somewhat bashfully. “Just like eating zongzi during the Dragon Boat Festival, or sweeping tombs during Qingming Festival. Customs. They’re all just customs.”

“If you ask me, it worked. I feel clear-headed and full of energy now. All thanks to your ‘contribution’ to me. Ah, I never realized you loved me even more deeply than I imagined. You cried and sobbed for days, and even went up the mountain to call my soul back...” Before he could finish, he was interrupted by Zhuyu’s shriek.

“No way! No, I didn’t! Stop talking nonsense!”

To hide her embarrassment, she became so agitated she nearly jumped.

“Clearly, you love me more. In the beginning, you tried to curry favor with me by peeling pears and peaches for me, cooking for me, buying Ovaltine...”

She pushed the wheelchair with so much force that it caught on a stone in the road, nearly sending Sizhao tumbling onto the ground.

“Those were all little things. They’re nothing compared to what you contributed. You even risked your life for me. For this kindness, I, Liu, will spend this lifetime...”

“You’re the bigger bootlicker! I was wandering around outside during a thunderstorm, and you were wandering around outside too. I jumped into the lake, and you jumped into the lake too!”

There was no way to determine who was the bigger bootlicker.

Both of them had done such outrageous things for each other that they could practically be called a pair of crazy lovers. The two of them were both terribly concerned with saving face. Neither was willing to admit that they were the one who loved more.

Sincerely loving someone was clearly the most precious and genuine quality of all. But “I love you more” was like a hot golden crown, passed back and forth between them as each graciously gave way to the other.

After spending half a lifetime as old hands at matters of the heart, the first time they had gone crazy for love had somehow left both of them feeling shy.

That night, wrapped together in a blanket, they sat in the attic warming themselves by the heater. Zhuyu finally remembered the question that had been bothering her all this time.

“Sizhao, why did you rush out back then?”

It wasn’t that she was criticizing his usual character. It was simply that what he had done was so unlike him.

He was almost asleep. He barely managed to open his eyes.

“I really didn’t think that much. I just thought, you were watching from right there. If I acted like a coward for once, I’d never be able to hold my head up in front of you for the rest of my life.”

He wanted to be a great hero in front of her for a lifetime.

That was all.

Zhuyu lay there calmly at first, gazing at the scattered stars visible beyond the glass skylight.

Then she rolled across the floor, turned over, and tightly hugged the man beside her.

“I know now. You’re amazing. Super amazing. You’re not the scheming capitalist I thought you were. You’re kind, brave, generous. I love you so much, Brother Sizhao!”

Sizhao instantly lost all trace of sleepiness. Her passionate confession had even made him blush a little.

To tell the truth, in her eyes, he had previously been clever, self-serving, and selfish. It was only that he was genuinely handsome.

Genuinely adorable.

And genuinely relentless in pursuing her.

So she had reluctantly fallen in love with him, while having to keep one eye closed and think less about some of the unscrupulous things he had done.

Anyone with a clear head who gave that passionate confession even a little thought would have been able to read its hidden meaning.

But people in love were always a beat slower.

The usually brilliant Liu Sizhao actually failed to understand that layer of meaning. He thought all of it was straightforward praise and accepted every word without reservation.

“You scared me half to death before. Saying your illness had come back, that you were sick again. Why would you scare people like that?”

As they remained locked in a tight embrace, she lightly pinched him again.

Seriously, what kind of strange hobby was it to take her perfectly healthy person and turn him into a tragic, sickly beauty?

“At the time, people in business kept asking around about me, so I put out some false information to throw them off. Once everyone thought I was finished, I’d show up again and completely disrupt all their plans. Isn’t that much more exciting?”

He once again wore that sly expression he usually had.

Fine.

He was still him. Still had that same old flavor. Not changed one bit.

But for a person to stake their life on being a hero and saving someone else during even one percent of the truly crucial moments in an entire lifetime, that alone was already something remarkable.

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Thoughts on a Quiet Night Chapter 27

Mountains

During the Spring Festival period, for several days in a row, the town rang with the deafening sounds of gongs and drums. Dragon and lion dance troupes wound through the streets and alleys, followed by teams on stilts. The Wuchang Gods’ procession came at the very end, bringing up the rear and serving as the grand finale. Tall horses clopped and stamped along, as though a costume drama had stepped into reality.

Children gathered along both sides of the street, clapping and laughing noisily. The adults followed behind, urging them to stand farther away so they would not get hit by exploding firecrackers.

It was not until the final day’s celebrations had ended that the streets finally settled down. The people cleaning up slowly swept away the ribbons and scraps of paper scattered across the road.

“Go on up.” On this day, when the little town had returned to peace and all was utterly silent, Great-Grandma Chen patted Zhuyu’s hand. “Go.”

She mounted the horse, loosened the reins, and let it set off along the gentle mountain path. Zhuyu knew how to ride. Her school offered equestrian classes. But she had not practiced in a long time, and she was somewhat rusty.

You have to ride there. Once you get there, you’ll know why. You absolutely have to ride there.

Great-Grandma Chen’s insistence left the others rather baffled. It was as though she were staging some grand drama about Mu Guiying going off to war, and the soldiers had to be on horseback. Whether the old woman’s mind was still clear or not, even her own family could not say for certain. In recent years, she could barely see or hear, and was muddled most of the time. At home, she sat in the courtyard from morning to night soaking up the sun, with a little radio playing beside her. The story of Mu Guiying Taking Command of the Army played from morning to night, too.

Even Great-Grandpa Chen advised the Sheng family not to listen to his elderly mother. The old lady was obviously senile, he said. Nothing she said could be taken seriously.

The only person who supported Zhuyu riding the horse up the mountain was Sizhao’s younger brother. He said he believed in the old woman’s theory. The Han regions have their own customs, and every place has its own gods.

She was not sure where she was supposed to go, where she ought to stop, or whom she was supposed to speak to once she got there. The horse walked very slowly, sometimes moving, sometimes stopping to nibble at the grass by the roadside.

The air in the mountains today was cold and clean. Even though the sun had come out, its light was faint, bringing no warmth and doing nothing to dispel the chill.

Is it time now? Can I speak to them yet?

She was somewhat at a loss. This aimless performance was very likely something the old lady had come up with after developing dementia. Zhuyu wanted to believe it was a definite solution, but she did not know how to enter the role. All she could do was circle around the outside of the stage, again and again.

The afternoon passed quickly. She had already made a full circuit around the mountain forest, and the sky was beginning to darken.

Then the wind picked up.

Judging by winter’s usual rhythm, the sky would be completely dark within half an hour.

At last, she stopped at the highest point of the mountain and spoke as softly as though she were whispering to a lover.

“Sizhao, it’s already January. You’ve been asleep for such a long time.”

“You said I should stay here for another six months. Six months is half a year. One month has already passed, so there are five months left.” Zhuyu smiled. “Time goes by so fast, doesn’t it?”

“For the time I have left, maybe I’ll have to spend it alone. Before I met you, I spent many years on my own. Back then, I rarely felt lonely or alone. But it’s strange. After you came close to me and then left me, I felt as though I were missing a part of myself, a very, very important part. Just like that, pa, it suddenly disappeared.”

“This is probably the most clichéd thing there is, the classic hallmark of what people call love, right? ‘I can’t leave you. I can’t imagine being apart from you.’ People feel a heart-rending sadness when they break up. They always say things like that. Now I’ve had that clichéd experience too.

“Now I’m feeling a kind of pain I can’t bear.

“If only we could have gone through an ordinary breakup, like ordinary people. You fell in love with someone else, or I fell in love with someone else. That would have been a hundred times better than this.

“To be parted from the person I love by death, I drew such a cruel devil’s lot.

“Why does everyone else get to have a normal ending to their relationships, while the two of us have to be this unlucky? Doesn’t it make you feel wronged? It’s so unfair, isn’t it?”

She smiled as she wiped away a tear, then repeated softly, “It’s so unfair.”

“We can’t let that malicious god have his way…” Zhuyu reached a hand out into the empty air. “I’m giving you my hand. Come here. I’ll wait for you, and we’ll go down the mountain together.”

It was completely dark now, and the wind had begun to blow. She stubbornly stood there, waiting.

“You’ve been wandering outside for so long. Are you tired? Come here. Walk slowly. I’ll keep standing here and waiting for you.”

She opened her arms and closed her eyes. After a while, she opened them again. She desperately wanted everything Great-Grandma Chen had described to be real, for there to be an invisible world hidden within the mountains.

There was nothing before her.

“Do you remember that promise? No matter what happens, I’ll always stand on your side. I made that oath with such confidence, but I’ve never once been able to fulfill it for you. And yet you’ve done so much for me, again and again. You protected me, took care of me, and saved me when I was in danger.

“Now I’m your soldier. I’m your guard.”

After the strong wind came fine snow. Her hands and face had long since been frozen red by the cold wind. Suddenly, the horse grew restless. It spun around in place, then ran forward, and Zhuyu broke into a little run alongside it.

She stopped in an open patch of ground. There were deep pits in the earth and piles of stones. The trees around it had been cut down until they were completely bare. Unlike the trees in an orchard, whose roots would be carefully wrapped before they were dug up and moved elsewhere, the trees here were already dead.

Zhuyu suddenly understood.

She remembered what this place was.

More than ten years ago, some part of this mountain had been developed by people. They had blasted open the earth with explosives in search of coal buried deep underground.

Ah.

This was the place.

They must be waiting here for her now.

While chasing after the horse, she fell, scraping her palm until it bled a little.

“Sizhao isn’t a bad person. He’s done many good things. He’s always been making amends. I can testify for him.”

Snow pellets struck her face. She stumbled as she pulled herself back up, trembling as she muttered, “Don’t scare me. I’m not leaving.”

“No matter how heavy the wind and snow get, I’m not afraid. It’s only snow. I’m not afraid of the dark either. I’m not afraid of anything…

“You’re all in the mountains. You must have seen what he did. Did you see it? Did you?”

Zhuyu, still mounted on the horse, called out in every direction.

“If someone takes on a debt because of the people dearest and most beloved to them, there’s nothing to argue about. If he owes it, then he owes it. But the gods in heaven should care about justice. One life for one life, one debt for one debt. What belongs to him is his. What does not belong to him, don’t make him pay for it.”

That day, Sizhao had a dream. He dreamed that he was walking through the deep mountains, dressed all in white, moving barefoot. He walked through the mountains, forgetting the passage of time, even forgetting who he was, not knowing where he was going.

The mist had not yet cleared, and the road he needed to walk had not yet come to an end. This was the vague fragment of consciousness that remained within him.

Then he heard a woman’s voice. She was shouting something loudly, but he could not make out what she was saying. Her voice was drowned out.

The mountains and fields were filled with soldiers in armor, mounted on fine horses. They had come from ancient times, wearing masks, standing solemnly in place. Thousands upon thousands of soldiers looked down upon a small patch of ground.

They were waiting for the command.

Two women sat astride their horses, standing face-to-face. One was restless and uneasy, an unyielding determination hidden in her expression. The other wore a blue-green mask like an evil spirit and was dressed in a purple robe. She stood in silence.

The restless woman took something from the bag hanging beside her horse. It was a red mask.

Then she put it on.

The two female generals took up their positions, about to engage in battle before the armies.

The female general in the blue-green mask raised the long spear in her right hand, holding it level with both hands. As for the female general in the red mask, all she had in her right hand was a long branch of plum blossoms, covered in pale yellow flowers.

The thousands upon thousands of soldiers in the mountains and wilderness were the troops of the purple-armored female general. They called out in support of their general, roaring at the tops of their voices:

“Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!”

A fierce wind rose from the ground, sweeping snow pellets through the air.

The female general in the red mask stood alone. Not a single person called out for her. Her back was so lonely that Sizhao could not help but stare at her for a long time.

In that instant, it was as though he remembered something.

Long ago, there seemed to have been someone who told him that she would always stand behind him.

That she would fight for him.

The horses reared and whinnied. The two fine horses charged straight ahead. The female general wielding the long spear would easily knock the woman opposite her from her horse, sealing her throat with a single thrust.

The woman holding the plum branch had no weapon at all. If a branch covered in pale yellow plum blossoms could be considered a weapon, then that was all she had.

Don’t go, Zhuyu. Get down the mountain, quickly.

The tip of the spear flashed with cold light. With all the strength of its wielder, the spear thrust forward.

The two female generals crossed paths with the lightness of butterflies beating their wings. In an instant, it was over.

Yet after they passed one another, no one fell from their horse.

The woman who should have been struck by the spear was completely unharmed.

Zhuyu came to a halt in the midst of the fierce wind for a moment. She dismounted, raised the plum branch high above her head, and said in a clear voice:

“God of the mountain, I am the master of Sun Mountain. In my own name, I swear this oath to you. Liu Sizhao has already cleared himself of his guilt. He is a good man with a kind heart.”

She bent down and gently placed the plum branch on the snow.

This was the promise she offered to the mountain god.

She had done everything she could.

Zhuyu stood where she was, waiting in the empty snowfall for a miracle to happen, waiting for Sizhao to appear before her eyes. All she could see was this mortal world, nothing but wind, snow, withered branches, and fallen leaves.

During the long wait, a little muntjac emerged from behind a tree.

It had a damp little nose and large black eyes. Compared with before, it had grown a little bigger.

The little muntjac came closer and sniffed around the plum branch. Then it lay down in the snow, innocently watching Zhuyu as she waited there.

“Are you all right?”

Zhuyu crouched down and gently stroked the little animal’s soft fur.

She knew that this was the little creature she had held in her arms and run with that day, the young one Sizhao had desperately fought to save.

The little muntjac could not understand human speech. It lowered its head and, as though playing, nibbled at the fragrant plum branch, leaving a tiny little stick on the ground.

“That day, we both lost someone very important, someone very, very dear to us…”

She held back the tears in her eyes.

“I miss him so much. Do you miss him too?”

The purple-robed female general no longer scrutinized the only opponent she had encountered in hundreds of years. She raised her whip and urged her horse forward, disappearing into the depths of the mountain forest.

The thousands upon thousands of soldiers followed close behind her. The thunderous sound of their hooves rolled like thunder, and within moments, they had all departed.

The snow-covered ground fell silent.

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Thoughts on a Quiet Night Chapter 26

Hospital Ward

The police told them that Liu Sizhao had been seriously injured and lost consciousness while fighting with the poachers.

This was not the first time poachers had hunted and killed wild animals in the mountains around Nanshi. As the ecological environment improved, cases like this had occurred several years in a row. Based on the information provided by the person who reported the incident, the police apprehended the suspects on the highway and confiscated more than forty wild animals, including one Class II nationally protected animal. The follow-up investigation was still underway.

Sizhao’s father had passed away, his mother was living abroad, and he had only one younger brother. He had no other elders.

Third Auntie had long since regarded him as one of her own children. Her eyes were swollen and red from crying, and she kept wiping away her tears with a handkerchief.

“How did it turn out like this? I really shouldn’t have let them go back that morning.”

The moment they heard the news, the entire Sheng family had rushed over, even Sheng Wenbin. They waited outside the hospital room, afraid to speak too loudly. Sizhao had already undergone surgery and was being monitored in the intensive care unit. He had suffered an injury to his brain, and no one knew when he would regain consciousness.

The traumatic brain injury had caused an intracranial hematoma. After waking, he might suffer from confusion and impaired language ability. In the worst-case scenario, some of his limbs could become paralyzed.

On Sizhao’s side, his younger brother and his family had also rushed over. Upon learning that his brother might end up with a fate even more unfortunate than death, becoming a vegetable, Danhu’s face had gone somewhat pale. His fiancée held his hand tightly, doing her best to support him.

“I thought he’d always be that smug. No matter what happened, he could always have the last laugh. He’s always been luckier than me. How could he…”

Danhu murmured to himself, “He’s such a smart person. How could he do something like that?”

One was unconscious, while the other’s condition could hardly be called optimistic.

Zhuyu had undergone a full examination. She had bruises in several places, injuries left from climbing down the mountainside, and was now lying in a hospital bed with an IV drip.

After the female police officer taking her statement came out, Yujing and Third Auntie hurried into the room. They tucked Zhuyu in and tried to give her some water. Zhuyu was still conscious, but her lips were cracked and dry, and she looked terribly unwell.

Seeing the niece who had been perfectly fine just the night before reduced to this overnight, Third Auntie was heartbroken. There were so many things she did not dare ask about and did not want to bring up. She could only urge her to take another sip, just one more sip.

“Sister, Auntie, did he wake up?” Zhuyu asked in a very soft voice.

They remained silent for a long while, and she knew he had not.

When she had jumped down that high mountainside and found him, his eyes had been tightly closed. His face was covered in dried blood, and there had been sticky blood in his hair as well. The wound had been deep enough to expose bone.

Even though they refused to tell her what his condition was now, she could guess.

“He’s still alive, right?” Zhuyu looked at Third Auntie, but Third Auntie turned her eyes away, unwilling to meet her gaze.

Yujing sat down on the other side of the bed.

“He’s alive. Don’t worry, okay?”

“When did the doctor say he’ll wake up?”

“Soon.”

Yujing forced a smile.

Sizhao had been unconscious for three days already. During that time, he had not woken even once.

Danhu gritted his teeth and told his fiancée, Meng Wei, that he would spend whatever it took to find the best hospital and have him properly treated. If they could not cure him, then he would take care of him for the rest of his life.

Even though he knew that someone like his brother would rather die than be trapped in a hospital bed for the rest of his life, he had taken his brother’s place. His brother’s life and death had become his responsibility. He had to shoulder Liu Sizhao all the way to the end.

No one in the family knew how to comfort Zhuyu. The two young lovers had been so deeply in love, perhaps even more deeply than they had realized.

Although Zhuyu could still speak and remained conscious, she ate less and less at every meal. Until, in the end, she could eat nothing at all except drink water.

If this continued, one would leave this world, and the other would follow.

Meng Wei and Yujing sat beside Zhuyu’s hospital bed, blowing on the meat porridge to cool it and coaxing her to at least eat a little.

Every day, she simply slept in a daze, spending more time asleep than awake. When she occasionally woke, it was almost as though night had come and she had only just fallen into a dream, drowsy and confused.

Today, unexpectedly, she spoke to the people beside her.

“I dreamed that morning that we hadn’t gone up the mountain. I said I couldn’t get up, and we stayed home. We didn’t go anywhere. If only that were how it had really been. If we hadn’t gone up the mountain, he’d definitely still be fine.”

Before she could finish, tears came rolling down her face. She lowered her voice and sobbed.

Meng Wei and Yujing each took one of her hands and let her collapse into their arms and cry.

“If only we hadn’t gone up the mountain that day. If only we hadn’t…”

She repeated those words softly, as though they were a key that could turn back time and awaken the person she loved.

Neither the Sheng family nor the Liu family blamed her. Not one of them thought she had caused this disaster.

But Zhuyu had trapped herself in a dead end. She said a few disjointed things that neither of them could understand.

“It’s all my fault. I said I was afraid to see it, the lambs waiting to be slaughtered, their throats being cut, the blood drained…”

When Zhuyu cried, she tried desperately to keep the sound as low as possible, forcing the sobs into her chest. Only Meng Wei and Yujing could hear the breathless whispering that sounded almost like a murmur.

“He’s alive. Even if… we’d never met… even if he could never remember who Sheng Zhuyu was for the rest of his life, that would be okay. As long as he’s alive…”

She did not want her Auntie and Dad to worry.

Over the past few days, people had been coming and going outside the hospital room like water flowing past. Many people from Luzhen had come to visit Sizhao. Baskets of fruit and bouquets of flowers were left outside, while people gathered together and spoke in hushed voices.

“So young. So young…”

So young, and already he was going to leave this world.

Great-Uncle Chen’s entire family had come as well, including his ninety-year-old mother. When the old lady learned what had happened between Sizhao and Zhuyu, she kept holding Third Auntie’s hand and whispering to her.

Her son and daughter-in-law were both going to leave her, yet she still refused to leave.

“Call Xiao Liu’s mother over. Use the old method. Go up the mountain and call his soul. If you call him, he’ll be able to come back.”

This old woman, who in her youth had traveled far and wide, singing Jasmine Flower everywhere she went, had a whole bellyful of such “methods.”

People had believed in them in the past. Now everyone knew they were superstition.

Third Auntie could not bring herself to reject the suggestion, but there was no way she could carry it out.

“Sizhao’s mother is abroad. She can’t come.”

“Then find another relative. It has to be someone close to him, someone he loves dearly. You have to try. As long as someone goes up the mountain and calls him, he’ll know to come back. He’s still wandering around on the mountain right now.”

“Sizhao still has a younger brother…”

Yujing hurried over to them and spoke up.

“Mom, let Zhuyu go.”

Grandma Chen knew that Zhuyu was Sizhao’s lover and that she was ill at the moment.

“If you let Zhuyu do this, she’ll pull herself together. She’ll get up, eat, walk around. They’re each other’s closest and dearest, too.”

Zhuyu, still conscious, looked at the woman who was over ninety years old. She had no teeth left, and when she spoke, it was as though her lips trembled around the words. Her voice was always low.

“You go up the mountain and call him back. If they stop you, will you be afraid?”

Her cloudy eyes fixed Zhuyu with an interrogating gaze. The veins stood out on the back of her withered, bony hand as she gripped Zhuyu’s wrist and asked again, “Are you afraid?”

“Who’s going to stop me?” she asked, one word at a time.

The old woman pointed a finger toward the sky.

“They’ll send people.”

Seeing this, Third Auntie and Yujing already regretted it. They did not know whether the old woman was still in her right mind. When people grew old, they became muddled, and everything that came out of their mouths was nonsense. They must not let themselves become muddled along with her.

“I’m not afraid. What should I do when the time comes?”

The old woman’s voice suddenly grew louder.

“Go talk to them. Tell them Xiao Liu isn’t a bad person. You have to convince them. They’re here to collect a debt, chasing after him to make him pay it.

“Xiao Liu already told me everything. He asked me what he should do. I told him, do your best in this world and live well. Once you’ve done enough, the debt will be paid in full. He’s already done enough, but those people don’t believe him. They still want to take him away.

“He’s your man. You have to go speak up for him!”

Before going up the mountain, Zhuyu never knew what she would see. Perhaps it was nothing more than the old woman’s confused fantasy.

Even so, she had decided to go up the mountain alone and do everything she could.

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Thoughts on a Quiet Night Chapter 25

Fog

After winter set in, the morning fog in the mountains would not disperse before noon. For a while, there was simply no way for it to clear.

Amid the heavy snow, a man and a woman walked hand in hand through the fog. Woolen hats, scarves, and gloves wrapped the two of them up snugly. Late the previous night, Third Auntie and her family had insisted on keeping Sizhao overnight. Their house had three floors and more than enough rooms, so there was no need for him to make the journey home beneath the stars and moonlight. It was clear that the next time he came, Sizhao would certainly not be making it home that night.

But at eight the next morning, he had a video conference to attend, and there were still work emails he had not finished answering. As soon as it was light, Zhuyu accompanied him into the mountains. As they walked, she teased him, pretending to be a lofty mountain hermit when his heart was actually still in the mortal world.

“What do you call this again? Secretly working yourself to death, while telling everyone that you’re not working hard or ambitious anymore, when in fact you’re killing yourself working behind the scenes.”

Sizhao grew warm as they walked, and he took off his hat. “If I really stopped working, Danhu would be sidelined sooner or later. He’s too young. He can’t handle the company’s shareholders.”

“Then if something really happened to you back then, and you put him in that position, what would you do if people forced him out afterward?”

“Then all I could do was bless him from underground. Me, as a ghost, sincerely blessing my little brother. Hopefully, they wouldn’t force him out.”

Whenever Liu Sizhao told these dark jokes, his face was completely serious, which left Zhuyu caught somewhere between laughter and helplessness.

The farther they walked, the warmer their bodies became. They took off their hats and scarves. The couple laughed and horsed around, not feeling the slightest bit tired from climbing the mountain.

A little after six, snow began to drift down again, light as cotton fluff, carried along by the cold wind. Snow settled in their hair.

Just then, a sound like firecrackers suddenly exploded through the mountains. Zhuyu stopped and looked at Sizhao. There were so few households in the mountains. Surely no one would be setting off firecrackers here.

A pickup truck stood in the snow. A large iron cage had been placed in the back, packed full of wild rabbits that had lost all signs of life. They lay there limp, their bodies still warm, though they had already begun to stiffen.

The pickup’s headlights pierced through the dense fog. Red patches of blood had frozen into the snow. There was no one around the vehicle. The owner might have gone deeper into the woods.

Zhuyu had heard that some poachers would come into the mountains during autumn and winter, carrying homemade hunting rifles to hunt. On a little mountain like Sunzi Mountain, there were no protected animals such as foxes or bears. At most, there were wild boars and wild rabbits.

People these days were hardly short of meat. Wild boar meat was not necessarily even good to eat. Aside from selling the animals for money, there was only one reason to hunt them: for fun.

Sizhao called the police. After only a few words, the dispatcher understood the situation. After hanging up, he pulled Zhuyu toward the smaller trails, trying to avoid being seen.

“Can the police find their way here?” Zhuyu was somewhat worried. It was snowing now, the fog was thick, and the roads were difficult to navigate.

“I memorized the license plate number. They definitely won’t get away today.” Sizhao took long strides. They needed to get back to the villa in the mountains as quickly as possible.

Another gunshot rang out. A flock of birds burst from the trees with a rustle, and Zhuyu felt the skin on her back prickle.

“Don’t be afraid. We’ll be there soon.” He tightened his grip on her hand.

Deep in the woods, a small four-legged animal stared at the person in front of it. It was still a young animal, not yet half a year old since its birth into this world. The mother that had been leading it was already lying in a pool of blood.

“Lucky day. We struck gold. Never thought we’d find one with a young one.” A lean man kicked the mother animal aside with the toe of his boot, aiming his rifle at the little animal, which was too frightened to move.

But his companion lowered the barrel slightly and listened intently for a while. He said nothing for a long time before finally speaking.

“Hey, Old Zhang. I think I heard someone walking through the snow. That crunching sound.”

Old Zhang was unconcerned. He thought his companion was being paranoid and overly sensitive. “Maybe there are other muntjacs around. I thought all we’d be able to shoot today were wild rabbits.”

“Just hope it’s not someone coming.” Zhou Qiang swept a flashlight around them, checking the surroundings.

“Let’s hurry. Kill this one too. It’ll be daylight soon. Once it’s light, driving will make it easy for people to spot us...” Old Zhang spat onto the ground. “What a waste. This little one isn’t a nursing baby anymore. Otherwise, we could dig out a ‘muntjac treasure’ from inside it. That stuff can be used as medicine. We could definitely double the price.”

The little muntjac stared with bewildered eyes and let out a low cry. It had been exhausted from running with its mother just moments ago, and even its voice was weak.

Old Zhang took aim and pulled the trigger. Another gunshot rang out.

But this time he missed. A force that slammed into him from behind threw off his aim.

A tall man emerged from behind and grappled with Old Zhang. The lean Old Zhang was no match for him. His hand loosened, and the gun fell to the ground.

“You little bastard, who are you?” Zhou Qiang joined the fight.

While the three men grappled in the snow, Zhuyu ran over, picked up the little muntjac, and desperately fled deeper into the woods.

The little muntjac weighed about as much as Qiqi. It was like holding a child, warm and heavy, its hot breath landing on the back of her hand. It made her know clearly that she was not dreaming, that everything was real. She had to run, run for her life, and then hide.

When Zhuyu and Sizhao hid in the grass, she saw the hunting rifle, and she saw the little muntjac. She covered her mouth and closed her eyes. She did not dare watch the furry little animal lose its breath.

“In a little while, you take it away. Remember, be quick...” Sizhao whispered in her ear. “Don’t worry about me.”

He got to his feet and left her.

She had no chance to say anything more to him. For some time afterward, she kept wanting to know what Sizhao had been thinking then. Why had he done such a thing?

At first, Sizhao had the upper hand. He subdued one of the men and forced him facedown on the ground, with both hands behind his back. The other man had been groaning and howling in pain on the ground just moments before, and Sizhao did not go after him again.

Then the long stock of the homemade rifle came crashing down onto the tall man’s head. It was a blow delivered with all his strength. The attacker, holding the rifle he had managed to seize back, stood behind the unexpected intruder, panting heavily. He had succeeded.

The tall man staggered, then quickly got back to his feet. He was already injured, blood from his forehead running together and continually streaming down. He looked toward the attacker, a man with a face covered in bluish stubble.

After that one glance, Liu Sizhao collapsed.

There was an earthen slope near the woods. In winter, if someone rolled down it and was then buried beneath the snow, no one would discover them for ten days or half a month.

The two men finished dealing with everything and did not go looking for the little muntjac again. It was almost daylight, and they had to leave this place quickly.

Zhuyu waited at a high point on the mountain. She waited for about an hour, but Sizhao still had not returned.

What on earth had he been thinking?

Shivering in the cold wind, she held the little muntjac in her arms and thought in the darkness. A person like Sizhao, what had he been thinking at that moment?

He was not a reckless person. He always thought things through carefully, made his plans before making a decision. It could even be said that he was a refined egoist. Why would he do such a thing? This was not his style.

Was it because of her? She cared so much about the mountains, even the trees in the mountains, the living creatures in the mountains. Sizhao knew she did not want to watch the little muntjac die, so he had stepped forward and done this.

It seemed to always be this way. It had always been this way. She was like a calamity star in this man’s life. Whenever she became involved, he would fall ill, and in the end, suffer that kind of fate.

Wiping away her tears, Zhuyu walked back toward where they had been before. The pickup had already driven away. Only the bloodstains remained on the ground.

“Sizhao, Sizhao!” she called out in the mountains, her voice rising and falling. “Sizhao, Sizhao!”

Tears streamed down her face. They had only just agreed that in six months, they would be together forever.

They were both birds without feet, spending nearly half their lives in migration. By chance, they had returned to their hometown and met each other. They had gone such a long way around, cautiously testing and communicating with each other, repeatedly verifying what the other was thinking. In the end, they had decided to stop. This was the person.

Only this person could understand her past, and the choices for the future that had come from that past. No matter how absurd or reckless they might be, he understood her.

There would never be another person like this again. There was only one Sizhao in the entire world.

Her cries brought back only faint, indistinct echoes. No one answered her.

“Sizhao, Sizhao...” Zhuyu’s throat was hoarse as she murmured the name, over and over.

At a moment like this, a thought suddenly came to her. Had Sizhao ever really existed in this world? Was there truly a man who had spent his days and nights with her, her lover?

Had the real Sizhao actually died when he was eighteen? Had everything afterward, all the way to the present, simply been a dream of hers?

Because she had liked Brother Sizhao ever since she was little. Back then, she had not even known that it was a girl’s first secret crush. She had only understood it as dislike, as fear.

That older boy with his black hair and fair skin, who had always seemed flawless. How could someone like that possibly become her lover?

If he truly had, then why had he now disappeared from the palm of her hand like a gust of wind?

“Sizhao, Sizhao.” Her voice had gone completely hoarse. All she could do was open her mouth and silently mouth the name.

The little muntjac jumped out of her arms. In truth, she had long since lost the strength to keep holding it.

Its mother had died before dawn. The body had already disappeared. Now, only it remained.

The half-year-old muntjac hesitated for a moment, then walked on its four slender legs toward the depths of the thick fog.

Zhuyu sat dazed on the ground, her hands empty. Suddenly, as though she had thought of something, she walked toward the earthen slope.

When people found her, she had her lover draped over her shoulders and was desperately struggling to climb upward.

The slope was so steep that even climbing it alone was difficult. Yet she was carrying another person who had lost consciousness. Her fingernails were packed with dirt, her hair was disheveled, her face covered in grime.

No matter how the rescuers tried to persuade her, she refused to lie down on the stretcher. She wanted to hold on to Sizhao’s hand.

As she called Sizhao’s name among the mountains, Zhuyu felt as though she could no longer see. Everything around her was pitch-black. It was the most terrifying moment of her life.

She had lost Sizhao.

He would never come back.

That thought lingered in her heart.

I will never let you go again. Absolutely never.

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Thoughts on a Quiet Night Chapter 24

Winter

Every winter and summer vacation, children came to the Cultural Palace to learn musical instruments and calligraphy. The various groups of the Spring Festival Shehuo performance troupe also gathered at the Cultural Palace. There was plenty of space here to store props and costumes, and they could rehearse their performances every week.

Once lunchtime arrived, all the girls who had been taking part in the volunteer mending work went home for lunch. When the time came, Sizhao came to pick up Zhuyu. She did not hurry to pack up and leave, but instead beckoned him inside.

“Hey, have you ever seen the costumes? Let me show you.”

She unfolded the costume she had only half finished mending.

Originally, these clothes must have been extraordinarily vivid in color. But with the passing of the years, the colors had darkened and faded somewhat, and they carried the smell of dust mixed with mothballs.

They had both seen the Wuchang Gods performance during the Spring Festival Shehuo. Five people dressed in five sets of costumes, red, blue, yellow, black, and white, wearing headdresses and masks, danced all kinds of dances amid the sound of firecrackers.

But they had only ever seen it from a distance, never up close.

There were many different accounts of the origins of the Wuchang Gods. In Luzhen of Nanshi, there was a fixed version of the story.

It was said that after the Hongwu Emperor of the Ming Dynasty established his capital, he rewarded the various meritorious officials according to their contributions. Yet he alone forgot the soldiers who had already sacrificed their lives in the campaigns fought across the north and south. So they came to the Hongwu Emperor in his dreams, voicing their grievances and complaining of the injustice. The emperor then enshrined these people as the “Changshen,” proclaimed it throughout the realm, and told the people that whenever a festival came, they were to hold sacrificial ceremonies for them. The custom had continued to this day.

“Uncle Sun, the troupe leader, said they can get horses this year. Real horses, you know. They’re going to have the Wuchang Gods ride horses at the very front of the procession.”

Zhuyu picked up a scarlet mask and held it up in front of the mirror. The mask was twice the size of her face.

“What are you doing then?” Sizhao asked, holding the costume up to the light to examine its patterns.

Zhuyu was speechless. “You think way too highly of me. I’m just doing some mending and other logistical work.”

“And you? What are you doing?” She threw the question back at Sizhao.

He raised his head and smiled at her. “I’m the one who donated the horses.”

Ah, this was so annoying.

“That doesn’t count. That doesn’t count! We’re talking about contributions, not donations.”

“What’s the difference? I contributed too.”

While the two of them bickered endlessly, the aunties and older sisters who had gone home for lunch made a sudden return. A whole crowd came walking back, because traffic police were checking whether pedestrians were wearing helmets on the road. They had been careless and had to hurry back for their hats.

And they walked straight into the two of them.

“So this is Zhuyu’s boyfriend. He’s so tall, and so handsome!”

“Oh, yes, Auntie. You flatter me.”

“So considerate too, coming all the way to pick up his girlfriend and take her home for lunch.”

“Haha, of course. It’s only right.”

The last person to walk in was Third Auntie. Zhuyu and Sizhao froze where they stood and began stammering.

After a moment of stunned silence, she asked loudly, “You have a boyfriend and you don’t bring him home to meet the family? What are you playing, tunnel warfare?”

After the two of them hurriedly explained themselves in a few words, they dashed out, started the car, and drove away.

While eating microwave macaroni at his place, Zhuyu thought back over what had happened and could not help feeling an enormous sense of pressure.

“What are you so upset about?” Sizhao said, twirling a forkful of noodles. “I can’t be that embarrassing to take out in public, can I?”

“What do you know? Today they see that we’re dating, and before long they’ll be asking when we’re getting engaged. A few months later, they’ll be asking when we’re getting married.”

She switched the fork for chopsticks and took a big bite.

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

“What’s so good about it?” Zhuyu glared at him.

Sizhao put down his fork. “I also wish I had parents and family members to answer to about the major events in my life. But I don’t. I envy you.”

Zhuyu’s anger immediately disappeared. She patted Sizhao on the shoulder and remained silent for five minutes before suddenly getting suspicious.

“Are you doing that poor-me routine again?”

“You really saw through me.” He looked sheepish.

“Enough is enough, Liu Sizhao. Don’t treat me like a donkey every day!”

“You’re much harder to fool than my little brother.” Sizhao wiped his hands with a napkin. “You’re not a donkey. You’re a clever little cat. If you put medicine in a cat’s canned food, it’ll spit the whole thing right back out.”

They had spoken too quickly with Third Auntie just now, and they could not let things end there. After lunch, Sizhao busied himself with gathering some tea, cigarettes, and liquor, planning to make another trip to Zhuyu’s house to formally meet her family.

“Oh my god, what are you trying to do? We’re just dating. You’re acting like we’re getting married.”

Zhuyu absolutely refused to let him make such a production of it. She would not allow him to bring a single thing, not the cigarettes, liquor, or tea.

The plum blossoms in the courtyard had bloomed, though, so bringing some plum blossoms would be all right.

His family’s courtyard had originally been planted with many kinds of flowers and trees, but by winter they had all withered and died back. Only the plum blossoms still held their vitality.

The wintersweet in the snow was a tender yellow, growing in clusters, branch after branch, blooming full and thick. Its fragrance was strong and crisp, filling the entire courtyard with a rich perfume. They chose a branch and cut it down with a large pair of shears. Once they got home and placed the branch in a vase filled with fresh water, it would probably continue blooming for many more days.

“Are there plum blossoms in Canada?” Sizhao suddenly asked, then answered himself. “I’ve never seen any in the United States.”

Zhuyu thought about it. “There should be, but ordinary people don’t plant these kinds of flowers in their courtyards.”

“When I was in China, whenever I saw the winter plums blooming in the family courtyard, I knew the New Year was coming. I spent so many years abroad without seeing a single plum blossom. Even when I celebrated the New Year with my Chinese friends, I always felt as though something was missing.”

“Haha, I never thought you’d get homesick too...” Zhuyu pressed further. “Who do you miss? Your mom and dad, and your little brother?”

She regretted the question the moment it left her mouth. Their family situation was complicated. It was not like an ordinary family, bustling together in warmth and liveliness.

Sizhao did not mind. “Yes. There are only three people in our family, but my dad would invite all our friends and relatives to this mountain. The adults would play mahjong, and the children would set off firecrackers. Back then, I thought it was too noisy. But when I was living abroad alone, whenever I thought of home, I would remember those days. Do you get homesick?”

“I do. My hometown isn’t Nanshi. It’s Luzhen, right here in these mountains. What I miss are all those earthy, rustic things: Shehuo, rice paddies, going to the market... Sometimes I meet fellow Nanshi natives too. But not a single one of them is from Luzhen. They were all born and raised in the city. None of them ever lived here.”

“It’s a shame. If the two of us had gotten in touch back then, that would’ve been great. It’s only one flight from New York to Vancouver. I’ll count myself as your fellow Luzhen native!”

Sizhao tossed a small sprig of plum blossom to Zhuyu.

Zhuyu lowered her eyes and laughed to herself. “Not necessarily. I might not have wanted to contact you. I’d have been too busy dating to have time to entertain my big brother from childhood.”

“Shut up, you.” He laughed in exasperation. “I really should’ve contacted you sooner. I could’ve flown to Vancouver to see you every month. If I saw you getting involved with some shady guy, I’d tell your dad.”

Zhuyu spread her hands. “See? I knew it. If we’d met each other a little earlier, we would only have gotten in each other’s way. I’d have gotten in your way, and you’d have gotten in mine. Now there’s no show left to see, and we’re ten thousand and eight thousand li away from that dazzling outside world. All that’s left in these mountains is me and you, so that’s when we finally started paying attention to each other.”

Sizhao did not mind her teasing in the slightest. “I don’t think being with you means I’m settling. If you think being with me means you’re settling, then I’m actually pretty happy about that. Sounds like I got a great deal.”

Her eyes shifted as she thought, There’s no way I’m letting you corner me with that. She teased him, “Oh? You like me that much?”

Unexpectedly, he answered her so directly that there was no room to dodge. “Yeah. I really, really like you.”

This time, she was genuinely speechless. She had absolutely no idea how to respond.

The weather was beautiful that afternoon. The sky was a clear, brilliant blue, with wisps of white cloud drifting here and there. Though yesterday’s snowfall was still thick on the ground, it had slowly begun to melt. A large branch of plum blossoms would get crushed and wilted if they put it in the trunk, so after the two of them discussed it, they decided they might as well carry it there. It was not far, and the weather was fine. They would get there soon enough.

Zhuyu carried a backpack, while Sizhao easily shouldered a branch of plum blossoms. Holding hands, the two of them stopped at the highest point of the mountain and looked down together. The wind turbines used to generate electricity stood in rows deep within the mist. The winter wind occasionally swept past, and their blades turned lazily. Each turbine had three white blades, long and slender, like the wings of some winged insect.

“Once this year is over, when next year comes, the mountain won’t belong to our family anymore.” Zhuyu gave his hand a little swing.

Sizhao lowered his head to look at her. “The mountain will be entrusted to someone suitable to manage.”

“Hey, I know. Our family doesn’t have the ability. We wasted ten years.”

“Not necessarily. If the mountain spirits were willing to speak, your family might not be the worst mountain owners. We, the Lius, would be.”

Sizhao said it amid the mountain mist and clouds.

The mountains were utterly silent. The animals were probably all hiding in rocky caves, having entered a long winter hibernation. Once they had taken in enough of the scenery, they stepped onto the stone stairs in the mountain and made their way down.

“Thank goodness. It’s over.” Zhuyu muttered very quietly.

“What’s over?”

“Don’t talk. I’ll tell you after we get down the mountain.” She tightened her grip on Sizhao’s hand, lowering her voice further and further.

It was not until they reached the road that she finally breathed a sigh of relief. Sizhao understood what she had been afraid of.

“You’ve been here for half a year, and nothing major has happened. I believe they’ve decided to end it.” Her palms had even broken into a sweat just now.

The road was full of traffic, and suddenly there were many more people around them, as if in an instant they had returned from the heavens to the human world.

“When I first started getting sick, someone told my dad that it was the mountain god’s punishment. He didn’t believe it. Later, after he died, even more people started telling me that.”

“You’re not saying I don’t believe it... right?”

“Of course I am.” He wore an expression of absolute matter-of-factness. “If I were that easy to convince, the people who came to my house to scam money out of me would have worn the threshold down to nothing.”

“So when did you start believing?”

“When it came back two years ago...”

“And what do you think now?”

“Do what you can, then leave the rest to fate. A father’s debt is repaid by his son. That’s only right and proper. If I’m perfectly fine six months from now, then don’t leave. We’ll go register our marriage. If I’m gone six months from now and you want to leave, I agree.”

As he said this, he casually stopped at a roadside stall and bought a large bag of roasted sweet potatoes. His expression was extraordinarily calm, despite the sheer amount of information packed into what he had just said.

Zhuyu walked with her head down for a while. Ten minutes later, she suddenly blurted out, “Register what marriage! Did I say I agreed?”

“If you don’t agree when the time comes, just dump me. You still have half a year to think about it.” He pressed the doorbell.

This time, when they came back, the flowers were accepted, and Sizhao was asked to stay for dinner. Unlike before, the entire family naturally treated him as one of their own.

“Uncle Xiao Zhao, you’ve come to our house four times this week. Don’t you need to spend time with your girlfriend?” Qiqi leaned over the vase of plum blossoms and kept sniffing them.

“How about making your little aunt my girlfriend? What do you think?” Sizhao took off his gloves and sat down on the sofa with Zhuyu.

Qiqi suddenly understood. “Oh, I get it. That way you can come to our house for dinner every day. You dumped your old girlfriend just so you could come to our house and drink mutton soup.”

The whole family burst into laughter. Even Zhuyu was laughing.

✦

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Thoughts on a Quiet Night Chapter 23

Staying or Leaving

It started to rain. The glass skylight in the ceiling caught the rainwater, and the pattering sound was exceptionally crisp and clear. One drop of water covered another, merging into rivulets and forming a broken spiderweb.

A thick wool carpet covered the attic floor. Zhuyu lay on Sizhao’s chest, the two of them half reclining on the carpet and whispering to each other. The rain was too loud, and sometimes they had to lean close to one another just to make themselves heard.

“I thought it would be very, very difficult, that it would take three or five years to get done. I never imagined it would be over so quickly. Sigh, things that seem as difficult as reaching the heavens to ordinary people are effortless for certain people in this world.”

Sizhao had one arm around Zhuyu’s waist and was holding an English book in one hand, reading as he lazily said, “That’s why I told you not to worry before. It wasn’t difficult to resolve. But the more I told you that, the more you thought I didn’t care, that I was just brushing you off with empty words...” He put on an aggrieved look and sighed. “It’s really not easy being me.”

Zhuyu deliberately ignored him, then suddenly remembered something.

“This time, it was because we ran into an idiot who wants to build an art museum in the mountains. He says it’s to develop the cultural industry. God, I can’t even imagine what his business will look like in the future. Who’s going to come all the way to the mountains to look at contemporary art?”

“Him? You don’t need to worry about him. Real estate groups like that have plenty of money with nowhere to spend it. Using it to open an art museum is about as suitable as it gets. Hou Zicheng’s family has a very solid foundation. No matter how he plays around, the whole thing won’t collapse.” Sizhao spoke absentmindedly, his eyes still fixed on the pages of his book.

Fine. That worked too. She wasn’t going to concern herself with it anymore.

“Danhu said he’s not going to return the watch to you.” Zhuyu watched his expression carefully.

He didn’t concern himself with other people’s money, but this was his own possession, and Sizhao’s expression naturally changed.

“I knew it. No matter what you give him, in the end it’s always gone for good. But it doesn’t matter this time.” He leisurely turned another page.

“You’ve had a change of heart?”

“That was Dad’s watch. He bought one for each of us, planning to give them to us when we came of age. That one was originally meant for him.”

Zhuyu found this strange. “Why didn’t you tell him?”

“If I told him, he wouldn’t take it. Have you ever seen those videos of feeding medicine to a husky? You try to feed it properly and it refuses to eat, but the moment you pretend to drop it on the floor, it rushes over and licks the medicine clean.”

Sizhao smiled with refined elegance, but to Zhuyu, this man was more than just cunning.

“What about yours? Why have I never seen you wear it?”

He said without the slightest sense of guilt, “I appreciate Dad’s kindness, but I’m not going to wear it. A famous watch covered in gemstones isn’t within my aesthetic tastes. The husky’s taste, on the other hand, happens to match Dad’s.”

The more he talked, the more animated he became. He put the book down altogether. “Hey, don’t you think my little brother really is just like a stupid dog? Even if all I’m holding is imaginary food, he’ll still come over and chew on it for ages.”

Zhuyu propped herself up on a pillow with her elbow and looked down at his animated expression. Whenever this man started talking badly about someone else, his eyes suddenly lit up. He could be quite ridiculously stupid himself.

She lowered her head and kissed his cheek. His mischievous smile abruptly stopped. The two of them held each other and rolled together until the rain stopped.

When the rain stopped, it was only a little past six. The glass skylight had already turned ink-blue. Winter evenings grew dark extremely early. The room was warm and cozy. Their skin pressed against each other, white and light-wheat-colored skin overlapping, giving them the color of cocoa milk.

Forehead against forehead, their breathing mingled steadily. Zhuyu’s eyes were half closed as she smiled and said, “After going around in circles, we still ended up here.”

“Isn’t that good?” He smiled too.

“It’s pretty good.”

“What’s good about it?”

“The carpet is good. It’s soft.”

Sizhao opened his eyes and rose, pressing himself above her. “Is the carpet good, or am I good?”

“How could the carpet possibly compare with you!” Before he could feel satisfied, she rolled her eyes and muttered, “The heating is even better.”

“What about me? Isn’t Liu Sizhao good?” He was almost laughing from irritation.

“No matter how good you are, you’re still not mine.” Her voice was very soft.

He lay back down, twirling her hair around his fingers, his voice quiet as well. “Once this is over, you’ll have to go back. I knew that from the beginning. That’s why I didn’t want to get things done for you so quickly. But if I didn’t do it, you’d worry. If it weren’t for what happened with your dad getting married, I wouldn’t have wanted to make my move so soon.”

Zhuyu raised her index finger and pointed toward the sky. “Is this how the Greek gods on Mount Olympus regard the troubles of mortals?”

He laughed.

They avoided talking about the fact that, in the end, they would have to part. Two people meet and fall in love, and then one of them changes the path they were supposed to take for the sake of the other. Only the very young can bring themselves to do something like that.

As time passed, when it was time to leave, she would leave. That was Zhuyu’s way of thinking. She didn’t know what Sizhao thought, but if he begged her to stay, she might waver.

Yet he had never said it. Not once.

That was good too. It spared them both the trouble, and they did not have to exhaust themselves by consuming too much of their own emotions.

As soon as December arrived, the people in the town began arranging the Shehuo performances for the Spring Festival. Walking on stilts, dragon and lion dances, colorful flag dances, the Wuchang Gods’ procession... The mixture and variety of the performances were dazzling.

Third Auntie had once been a member of the stilt-walking team. Their team had previously competed in national competitions, won a gold medal, appeared on television, and been featured in newspapers. Now, as an old veteran, Third Auntie always went to the team around this time of year to offer some guidance.

Zhuyu was now completely idle at home, so Third Auntie took her to the community to help with the logistics for the Shehuo Festival. They brought out the old props to dry in the sun, washed the colorful flags, and stitched and mended the old costumes of the Wuchang Gods.

When she was in high school, she had worked part-time at an ice cream shop with her classmates just for fun. It was then that she discovered that she seemed particularly suited to physical work. Once she got busy, her mind became neatly organized. She could think while working, and remain calm and composed.

As she sat there mending clothes with a big sewing needle in hand, she had plenty of time to think about the situation as it stood.

If you don’t want me to stay, then I won’t stay. It’s not as though I’m dying to have you keep me.

After winter set in, Third Auntie often made mutton soup in the evenings. Whenever she made it, she would invariably call Sizhao over. One day, he drove over and delivered an entire sheep to the house, and she was stunned on the spot.

Good heavens, who buys an entire sheep at once? If our family weren’t so large and our refrigerator weren’t so big, an ordinary household’s refrigerator wouldn’t even have room to cram it in.

Whenever the whole family gathered for a meal, Zhuyu never took the initiative to speak to Sizhao, as though the two of them were strangers. He, however, could chat and laugh freely with everyone else in the family.

As time went by, the whole family became familiar with this young man. And once you become familiar enough with someone, it is inevitable that you start asking a few personal questions.

“Do you have a girlfriend yet, Xiao Liu?” One day, when Third Auntie’s husband asked this, Sizhao’s spoon trembled in his hand as he was drinking soup.

Zhuyu lowered her eyelids and only looked at her own bowl.

“Yes.”

Her spoon trembled too, and she nearly choked on her soup.

A hint of disappointment appeared on everyone’s faces.

Third Uncle rallied and asked, “How long have you two been together?” Perhaps it wasn’t anything official.

“Since the beginning of this year. It’s been quite a while.”

“All right, all right, eat your food. Young people don’t like being asked about this kind of thing, and you still keep asking.” Third Auntie stepped in, intending to end the topic.

Sizhao was in good health now, and there was nothing about him that looked different from an ordinary person. After spending so much time with him, she naturally knew that he was gentle and easygoing. Add to that his privileged family background and handsome appearance, and it would have been strange if he didn’t have a girlfriend.

If he could be paired with Zhuyu, that would be wonderful. If they couldn’t, then it could only be said that they had no fate together.

“Hehe, I know who Uncle Xiao Zhao’s girlfriend is.” Qiqi was clutching a chicken leg, smiling with a very clever look.

Please don’t, please don’t... She had already said it once last time. If she said it again this time, Auntie Xiao Yu would have to lose face all over again. The whole family secretly began praying.

Yujing pulled out a napkin, supported the back of Qiqi’s head with one hand, and vigorously wiped her greasy little mouth twice. “Look at how dirty you are, just like a little tabby cat. Come, come, Big Auntie will help you.”

Even with her mouth blocked like that, Qiqi still struggled and shouted, “She’s a foreign woman with golden hair!”

Everyone froze.

“I saw the paintings at Uncle Xiao Zhao’s house. There was a woman with golden hair in one of them. She must be his girlfriend.”

His house had oil paintings covering the walls, and little elementary-school student Qiqi innocently assumed that one of the women was this uncle’s girlfriend.

She hadn’t guessed correctly, but she had answered well enough. Zhuyu breathed a sigh of relief and turned around to reward her with a cheese stick.

“Haha, no, that’s not it. Uncle’s girlfriend is a Chinese girl with black hair,” Sizhao said with a smile.

Qiqi pressed on. “Are her eyes big?”

“Big.”

“Are her eyelashes long?”

“Long.”

“Is her skin fair?”

“Not fair.”

Sizhao answered far too quickly. The moment the words left his mouth, he glanced at Zhuyu. And it wasn’t only him who glanced at her. Everyone in the family did.

These days, girls everywhere considered fair skin beautiful, and very few girls would deliberately let themselves get tanned. Zhuyu was the darkest-skinned person here.

“Oh...” Qiqi gnawed on her chicken leg and drawled, “My Little Auntie isn’t fair either. But her long eyelashes are fake. She said the beautician glued on fake eyelashes with glue.”

“I’ll give you the other chicken leg too. Eat, eat.” Chen Kai wanted to divert Qiqi’s attention as quickly as possible, in case she continued exposing Little Auntie.

“Little Auntie’s eyebrows are fake too, and her eyeliner is fake too. The beautician drew all of them for her, just like how I put makeup on my Barbie dolls. But Little Auntie’s double eyelids are real. My mommy’s double eyelids were cut by a doctor with a knife.”

Thank you so much. I’m never buying you cheese sticks again, and I’m going to eat every single cheese stick in the house myself.

Zhuyu suddenly felt that her head was so heavy.

Sizhao spoke to Qiqi with a perfectly serious expression. “No wonder. Your Little Auntie is as pretty as a Barbie doll.”

Qiqi threw out her final “death question.”

“Is my Little Auntie prettier, or is your girlfriend prettier?”

He fell silent.

After the meal, the family hurriedly carried her off to wash her face and hands, to prevent this little fairy from asking another question that would leave everyone with no way to save face.

Afterward, Zhuyu kept pressing him, asking what on him was acquired later in life rather than naturally that good-looking. Had he gotten a hair transplant? False teeth? Did he drink protein powder and work out?

He caught the hand she was using to inspect his hairline. “If you’re willing to make it public, I’ll tell your family that you’re the prettiest.”

“After the New Year, when we separate...”

He didn’t let her finish. “Stay here another six months. If you still want to leave after six months, then you can leave.”

✦

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