Chapter Thirteen: Reunion Beneath the Pagoda (2)
Belgium.
Nan Bei held a shovel as long as her forearm, filling in the soil around the flowers. She wore a large sun hat that revealed only half her face. Beside her, a little girl squatted down, wearing an identical sun hat in a smaller size, watching her every move with rapt attention.
The greenhouse was kept at a constant temperature.
Although it was winter, they had been blessed with rare sunshine.
“Where’s Daddy?”
“Daddy’s in China,” Nan Bei said softly.
“What is Daddy doing in China?”
Baobao’s voice was soft and childish, but she asked with complete seriousness.
Nan Bei smiled. “Working.”
“Why does Daddy have to work?”
“To buy you formula to drink.” Nan Bei smiled as she took off her gloves and stroked the little girl’s face.
She looked into Baobao’s eyes. They were the same color as his, only bright and clear, with long eyelashes that quickly carried away all of Nan Bei’s thoughts with every blink. She remembered that dream between life and death in the Philippines. Cheng Muyang as a boy had been just as quiet and clean.
“Mommy.” Baobao suddenly imitated Nan Bei, reaching out a little hand to touch her face.
“Hmm?” Nan Bei covered her own face, pressing the little hand into her palm.
“Baobao doesn’t eat much,” Baobao said softly. “Tell Daddy to stop working.”
Nan Bei found it both amusing and exasperating, but she agreed.
Nan Huai did not come here often. He had only stayed with Baobao for half a month when she had just learned to speak. Perhaps children, especially girls, were naturally dependent on the role of a “father,” because Baobao truly adored him. After she learned to call him Daddy, the first thing she did every morning was walk out of Nan Bei’s room and wake Nan Huai up. She would always insist on personally putting the slippers at the bedside together neatly before letting Nan Huai get out of bed.
In fact, her brother had only slept late that first night because he was tired.
For the remaining dozen or so days, though, he obediently lay in bed pretending to be asleep until Baobao appeared.
Perhaps when Baobao grew old enough to understand, Nan Bei would have to tell her that this Daddy was not really her “Daddy.” But looking at her now, Nan Bei even thought that perhaps this day never had to come. Letting her feel that she had a father and a mother, and that she could ask strange little questions every day, was truly the happiest thing in the world.
That evening, when Nan Huai called, she told him about it.
His voice was unexpectedly gentle too. He said he would finish what he had on hand as quickly as possible and come over during the Lunar New Year. The two of them talked about how Baobao had been doing lately. After half an hour, Nan Huai suddenly asked her, “Yesterday, you took Baobao to Brussels?”
Although she could sneak out on her own, there was no way she could keep it completely hidden from him.
So she admitted it readily. “I suddenly felt like eating the food there.”
Nan Huai was silent for a moment before laughing. “There’s a little trouble. I’ll find you two somewhere else to stay tomorrow, okay?”
She was not surprised. She gave a quiet “Mm.” “Okay. It’s not the first time, anyway.”
When she was studying before, Nan Bei had lived in the French-speaking region, but this time, they were staying mostly in the Dutch-speaking region north of Brussels. Sometimes, when she took Baobao out, she even had to bring a translator along. At certain times, she always liked taking Baobao to places she and Cheng Muyang had visited together.
Not long after they moved, the Chinese Lunar New Year arrived.
Nan Huai did not arrive on time. Instead, an unexpected guest came: Shen Jiaming.
Baobao was very polite, but she was clearly hostile toward Shen Jiaming. She remained nestled in Nan Bei’s arms, refusing to leave from the time they ate their New Year’s Eve dinner until she fell asleep. The funniest part was that whenever Shen Jiaming tried to talk to her, Baobao would always ask Nan Bei a question, interrupting the rare conversation between the two adults. It was only after the child had truly fallen asleep that Nan Bei put her in the little bed, left someone to watch her, and walked out of the bedroom.
There was a small living room just outside her bedroom.
Shen Jiaming sat there, holding a cigarette and rolling it back and forth between his fingers without lighting it.
“Quitting smoking?” Nan Bei asked curiously.
“No.” Shen Jiaming smiled at her. “I’m afraid it’s bad for the child.”
“She’s asleep. It’s fine, you can smoke. Someone will take care of the smell later.” Nan Bei sat down across from him. “Why are you being so nice? You came all the way to see me for New Year’s.”
“Nothing.” Shen Jiaming let out a soft breath. “I just wanted to see you.”
Nan Bei smiled. “You suddenly sound so sentimental. Did something bad happen?”
“No.” He placed the cigarette on the table, then took off his glasses and tossed them onto the table as well. “Want to play dice?”
“Sure. It’s New Year’s, after all.”
Nan Bei had the housekeeper bring over a dice cup and chips. They were piled in bright, colorful heaps across the transparent long table.
Shen Jiaming smiled as he brushed the chips aside, then gently shook the dice cup in his right hand and looked at her. “If you win, I’ll give you a New Year’s gift.” The dull, rhythmic sound of the dice came from inside the cup.
It was as if they had returned to their youth. Every time he wanted to give her a gift, he would do this. He would let Nan Bei win and let her receive the gift, never tiring of it. In the dark red glow of the wall lamps, she looked at Shen Jiaming’s hand and remembered those days in her past when her life had been at its most peaceful, when there had been no threat to her life at all.
Simply comparing the numbers.
The simplest way to play.
Yet Shen Jiaming deliberately let her win by an absolute margin. He opened three sixes for her, and three ones for himself. Nan Bei could not help laughing. “Jiaming, you could absolutely go play the King of Gamblers.”
“I like losing completely.” Shen Jiaming laughed, half-seriously.
He looked at Nan Bei without any intention of taking out the gift, yet it seemed as though he had something to say.
The twelve o’clock chimes rang out just then.
Low and rhythmic.
It was New Year. A new year.
Nan Bei smiled and said to him, “Happy New Year.”
“Happy New Year.” Shen Jiaming looked at her, fell silent for a few seconds, then spoke again. “Cheng Muyang is still alive.”
Just a few simple words.
Yet she stared at him without any reaction. Shen Jiaming said it twice more, without changing a single word, telling her that Cheng Muyang was still alive. Nan Bei felt her hands trembling slightly. She gripped the edge of the transparent long table, tightening her fingers again and again. When the pressure in her palms began to hurt, she suddenly stood up. “Where is he?”
Shen Jiaming could not possibly lie to her.
Yet she was terrified that his next words would be that it had all been nothing more than a New Year’s joke.
“I don’t know.” Shen Jiaming’s voice was somewhat low. “I only know that he’s still alive.”
When he finished speaking, he stood as well. “Actually, I came this time at your brother’s request.” He smiled with deep regret. “What a perfect opportunity. I should have proposed to you.”
Nan Bei’s heartbeat was extremely unsteady.
“Nan Huai should know much more than I do. You can ask him.” Seeing that Nan Bei had long since lost any desire to stay, Shen Jiaming indicated that she could leave first. “Go on. Make a call and you’ll know everything. Don’t worry about me.”
“Thank you, Jiaming. Thank you.”
After saying that, she ran into the study without looking back.
Shen Jiaming held the cigarette between two fingers, staring toward the study as he inexplicably lost himself in thought. Sometimes, the bond between people really could only be measured in time. If he and Nan Bei had shared six or seven years of fate, then Cheng Muyang was clearly much luckier than he was.
If he was lucky, perhaps it really would be for a lifetime.
He closed his hand around the cigarette, smiled, then walked down the stairs and left the room.
When the call connected, Nan Huai asked about Baobao first.
She did not answer, instead asking about Cheng Muyang.
Nan Huai was somewhat surprised. His tone was even very harsh at first, as he suppressed his own irritation.
He had never imagined that Shen Jiaming would tell Nan Bei. If he did not tell her, and Shen Jiaming did not tell her, she, almost completely cut off from the outside world, would never have known. As her brother, watching his younger sister return after a trip, having gone through life and death, covered in wounds and carrying a child, he felt that not killing Cheng Muyang already showed an extraordinary amount of restraint on his part.
But Nan Bei simply loved him that much.
“I want to see him,” Nan Bei told her brother. “I have to see him.”
No matter what Nan Huai said, she kept repeating only those words.
In the end, both of them fell silent.
Neither said another word.
After a long time, Nan Huai finally gave in. He had only this one family member, and a lifetime of giving in had become a habit. “Don’t let your emotions affect Baobao. Get a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow morning, I’ll send someone to see you.”
She gave a quiet “Mm” and ended the call.
Because of Nan Huai’s words, Nan Bei did not sleep all night. She sat beside Baobao’s little bed, watching her. Ever since Baobao had grown accustomed to sleeping on her own, her sleeping position had become exceptionally well-behaved. She always lay flat on her back, both little hands resting on her belly.
No one had ever restricted the way she slept, but she seemed to have liked this position by nature.
Nan Bei’s dependence on Baobao was even greater than a child’s dependence on her. That was why she refused to give Baobao any other name, insisting on the rather ordinary “Baobao.” She did everything herself, completely cut off from the outside world, devoting herself wholeheartedly to this child who looked so much like Cheng Muyang.
Every day, she watched Baobao wake up like this.
Only today, Nan Bei was restless, waiting for the “someone” Nan Huai had mentioned.
Baobao woke at exactly the same time as always. Before she had even opened her eyes, she habitually stretched out both arms and called for Mommy in her soft little voice.
Nan Bei smiled, wrapped her in the little blanket, and held her on her lap.
“Where’s Daddy?”
She really had a good memory. She still remembered that Nan Huai had said he would come see her during the New Year.
“Daddy’s still on the way.” Nan Bei took the warm towel someone handed her from behind and wiped her face. “Does Baobao like Daddy?”
“Like him.” Baobao nodded vigorously.
“Do you like Mommy?”
“Like her.” Baobao continued nodding.
“Who comes first?”
Baobao thought for a moment. “Daddy.”
Nan Bei laughed, amused. “What about Mommy?”
Baobao thought about it seriously. “Daddy is number 1. Mommy is number 0.”
“Why?” Nan Bei found it even funnier.
Baobao hooked her arms around her neck and said indignantly, “Because 0 comes before 1.”
She finally understood.
“Baobao, Mommy has something to tell you. You have another...” Nan Bei thought for a long time, not knowing how to describe Cheng Muyang. In the end, she could not help laughing herself. “You have a little daddy. Are you happy?”
Baobao looked at Nan Bei in confusion. “Little Daddy?”
“He’s younger than Daddy, so you have to call him Little Daddy.”
Baobao pressed her head against Nan Bei’s face and rubbed against her. “Younger than Daddy, he’s Little Daddy. Older than Daddy, he’s Big Daddy.”
Nan Bei did not know whether to laugh or cry, and continued coaxing her. “No, baby. You only have two daddies. No one else is.”
Baobao had only just accepted one concept, and now that it had been overturned, she became even more confused.
She merely blinked twice slowly, as if thinking.
“Wouldn’t you be happy to have one more person to play with?” Nan Bei continued to coax her.
Seeing Nan Bei smiling, and smiling so beautifully, Baobao finally smiled too. “Will he give me presents?”
Nan Bei smiled. “He will.”
“Will he like Baobao?”
“Of course he will.”
He would probably love her to the point of madness.
“Does Mommy like Little Daddy?”
“I do.”
Baobao’s eyes curved into a smile. “Will Little Daddy come tomorrow?”
Nan Bei gently shook her head and kissed her cheek. “No, but he’ll come see Baobao very soon.”
“Okay.” Baobao finally accepted this. Pressing herself against Nan Bei, she reminded her softly, “Tell Little Daddy to come see Baobao secretly. Daddy will get angry if he finds out.” Nan Bei gave a quiet “Mm” and could not help laughing aloud.
Nan Huai seemed to have calculated exactly when Baobao would finish breakfast. When the person he had brought arrived, she happened to be drawing with Baobao. Baobao was completely absorbed in holding her pen, smearing it across the paper in a stream-of-consciousness scrawl. The housekeeper gave Nan Bei a subtle signal that she could leave. She immediately had the two women beside her keep an eye on Baobao, then quietly got up and walked downstairs.
By the time she reached the first floor, she was already running in long strides.
In the Chinese-style courtyard, rain was falling. It was not particularly heavy. Several men were pointing miniature pistols at a tall, slender figure. It was Xiao Feng. In the span of two years, the big boy had become a young man.
His hair was soaked from the rain. His brows had been furrowed, but when he saw Nan Bei, he froze for a moment. Nan Bei looked at him too. After a while, the two of them suddenly smiled, sharing the same sense of having lived through another lifetime, the same overwhelming relief.
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