Xingzhou City (11)
Huo Sixuan tried on the new clothes one after another, without the slightest hint of impatience, and only after a while did she realize that Tan Guhong had not moved at all. So she picked up a qipao hanging nearby and handed it to Tan Guhong.
“Go put it on and see if it fits.”
Tan Guhong took it with some confusion. “I don’t remember having a qipao made.”
Huo Sixuan had indeed taken her to an old-fashioned tailor earlier to have her measurements taken and clothes made, but she had never said they were making a qipao.
“Eldest Brother’s birthday banquet is a traditional Chinese-style birthday banquet. If you don’t wear a qipao, what are you going to wear?”
“A qipao isn’t exactly all that traditional…” It was merely a modified version of Qing dynasty Manchu dress. Tan Guhong said half-jokingly, “If we’re really talking tradition, I should be wearing a reconstructed quju from Mawangdui.”
“I just like qipaos because they’re the sexiest, okay? Enough talking. Go change!”
Tan Guhong obediently sat to one side to change clothes, asking in puzzlement as she did so, “Monica, why do you think Grandpa Liang would want me to become his daughter-in-law? I’m so untraditional.”
She had none of the qualities traditionally associated with an exemplary woman, such as being virtuous, gentle, and demure. The only thing traditional about her was perhaps her stomach, and even then, she still couldn’t get used to Jiangnan cuisine.
“What’s so special about being traditional? If my eldest brother said he hoped his descendants would marry traditional women, do you know how many women who look as though they’ve just been unearthed from an archaeological site would come crying and begging to marry into the Liang family? There might even be plenty of men.”
Tan Guhong burst out laughing. “I believe that.”
After all, the Liang family had a vast fortune and a powerful family enterprise. She might not care about marrying into a wealthy family, but there were plenty of people who did.
“The reason your Grandpa Liang likes you so much is complicated. You’re a tomboy, and although you can be irritating enough to make people grit their teeth sometimes, a child as upright, kind, pure, and straightforward as you is truly rare. As people grow old and see more of the world, they actually come to prefer simple people and simple things. On top of that, our two families have been very close for a long time. My eldest brother is much older than me and my younger brother, so there are some things we don’t know very well. But our parents would tell him things, and he has always felt that our family owes yours a debt. And then there’s…”
Huo Sixuan pondered for a moment before saying hesitantly, “You have some similarities with Eldest Brother’s mother.”
By then, Tan Guhong had already put on the qipao and was standing before the full-length mirror. It was a pale-purple silk qipao embroidered with flowers, its piping and knotted buttons executed with meticulous care. It was a very traditional style, and the fit was perfect. It was not that it was unattractive, but it simply did not suit her temperament. There was something indescribably incongruous about seeing it on her.
She was arranging her hair in front of the mirror when she turned around suspiciously at those words.
“Grandpa Liang’s mother? Wouldn’t that be… Huo Qiaonan’s great-grandmother? I remember seeing her when I was little. How do I look like her?”
Huo Qiaonan’s great-grandmother had originally lived in the United States as well. But because she remained attached to her homeland, she returned to Beijing in her later years and lived in an old courtyard house in Yanzi Hutong. Tan Guhong vaguely remembered her as an elegant and cultured old woman, with the gentle, tender grace of a Jiangnan woman. How could she possibly resemble her?
“My eldest brother’s mother, not our mother,” Huo Sixuan corrected her. “She was another elder in the family. She was a female officer who graduated from Whampoa Military Academy. She wore men’s clothes and kept her hair short all her life, free-spirited and uninhibited. But later, because of political persecution, she was imprisoned in Taiwan for half her life. As for her exact relationship with our parents, I’m not entirely sure either. In any case, she was a very legendary woman.”
“She certainly sounds legendary.”
Tan Guhong was filled with emotion. Partly because of the life story conjured by those few brief sentences, and partly because she sincerely wanted to say: Your family relationships really are far too complicated…
As she was lost in her thoughts, the phone buried beneath a pile of clothes on the sofa suddenly rang. Tan Guhong walked over and picked it up.
“Hello?”
“Xiao Hong, Xiao Hong, where are you?” Huo Qiaonan’s carefree, exuberant voice came from the other end.
“I’m here with Monica. Also, don’t call me Xiao Hong.”
As always, Huo Qiaonan ignored her warning. “Okay, then I’ll come find you.”
He hung up immediately after saying that, leaving Tan Guhong completely baffled. But she was also quite accustomed to this sort of inexplicable behavior.
“That was Qiaonan, right?” Huo Sixuan asked from behind her.
“Yeah.”
“Seriously, Tomboy, are you really not going to reconsider Qiaonan? Trust my eye. He’s ten thousand times better than that scoundrel A-Ming…”
“Monica, why haven’t you given up on this yet?”
Tan Guhong was both amused and exasperated, and had no choice but to solemnly reiterate once again, “Huo Qiaonan and I are just friends. Nothing else is possible.”
It wasn’t long before Huo Qiaonan arrived. He greeted them with a beaming smile.
“Guma…”
guma (姑媽) means a paternal aunt, specifically your father's older sister
Before he could finish, Huo Sixuan flicked him hard on the forehead and roared, “Silly boy! Don’t call me Guma. Call me Monica!”
“Oh, Monica.”
Huo Qiaonan covered his forehead, looking thoroughly aggrieved.
Tan Guhong gloated, “Looks like only Monica can deal with you. Next time you call me Xiao Hong, I should probably just flick you on the forehead too. Maybe then you’ll learn.”
“Xiao Hong, you’re learning all the wrong things!”
Huo Sixuan got angry again. “Screwed-up kid, make yourself clear. Who’s the one teaching you bad things?!”
“I, I, I, I’m sorry, Monica.”
Tan Guhong could hardly contain her laughter. “What did you come looking for me about?”
Only then did Huo Qiaonan explain why he had come. “Let’s go out to eat. My treat!”
“Why are we suddenly going out to eat?”
“I found a really special place. You have to come with me!”
“Okay, then wait a bit. I’ll go change.”
……
After Tan Guhong left, only Huo Qiaonan and Huo Sixuan remained in the reception room.
Seeing Huo Sixuan staring at him with an expression of exasperation, Huo Qiaonan glanced at the clock guiltily and defended himself, “There’s still plenty of time before eight tonight…”
Huo Sixuan poked him on the head with her finger. “You, honestly. Is eating the only thing you ever think about? Can’t you try to amount to something?”
“How am I not amounting to something?” Huo Qiaonan protested aggrievedly.
Although he looked extremely unreliable, he was actually a top student who had graduated from a prestigious university. Because he disliked serious, conventional work, he had gone into business with friends and opened several bars, cafés, and gyms, while also running an online shop. Not only had he not been swindled out of all his money, he had actually made quite a success of his little businesses. He was hardly some useless spoiled rich kid.
In fact, Tan Guhong’s worries were unnecessary. There had never been anything wrong with Huo Qiaonan’s intelligence.
“Are you really just going to stand there and watch someone else win Tomboy over?” Huo Sixuan gave him a sidelong glance and said leisurely, “Don’t think I can’t tell how you feel about her.”
She had been there herself. She knew.
Huo Qiaonan’s expression stiffened. After lowering his head and remaining silent for a moment, he smiled.
“Monica, Xiao Hong and I are just friends. Nothing else is possible. If there were anything else, then we wouldn’t even be friends.”
Huo Sixuan opened her mouth, but did not know what to say. In the end, she could only sigh softly.
Not everyone in this world was able to find their other half of an orange. Even if they did, perhaps the other half of the orange that suited them better was still waiting for them somewhere.
The next second, Huo Qiaonan said, “Besides, Guma, we really are impossible. Didn’t you hear me? She’s three months older than me! I don’t want to find myself an old woman!”
“…You little brat, if Tomboy is an old woman, then what does that make me? Call me Guma one more time and see if I don’t knock your teeth out!”
“I, I, I’m sorry! I’ll shut up, okay?”
……
The moment Tan Guhong stepped out of the changing room, Huo Qiaonan grabbed her and bolted through the door. She did not even have time to say a word to Huo Sixuan.
“What are you doing?”
Once they were outside, Tan Guhong rubbed her wrist, which hurt from where he had gripped it, and looked at Huo Qiaonan in confusion.
“Didn’t we agree to go out to eat?”
“Did we have to run away?”
“Ahem, actually, it’s like this…” Huo Qiaonan said somewhat sheepishly. “I heard there’s a burger restaurant in Niu Che Shui holding a burger-eating competition. The winner gets a three-year free meal voucher. If Monica finds out, she’ll definitely yell at me again.”
Tan Guhong was speechless for a long while. “Do you really like burgers that much? And are you even short of money to buy burgers?”
“But it’s a double beef burger, not an ordinary burger!” Huo Qiaonan said righteously. “I love double beef burgers the most!”
“What about Peking duck?”
“Love it the most.”
“What about cheesecake?”
“Love it the most!”
“Braised pork?”
“Love that the most too!”
Tan Guhong folded her arms and looked at him leisurely. “You love everything the most? Is there any food you don’t like?”
“No!” Huo Qiaonan replied decisively. “Who says you can only have one favorite? No, wait… That ice-cream toast yesterday was super disgusting. That was the worst ice-cream toast I’ve ever eaten!”
Then why did you eat every last bite?
Tan Guhong had no energy to argue with him at all. She waved her hand. “Fine, let’s go to Niu Che Shui.”
The burger restaurant Huo Qiaonan was talking about was just an utterly ordinary chain fast-food restaurant on the street. Tan Guhong could not figure out where he had gotten the information from. Perhaps foodies had their own sources of intelligence.
The rules of the competition were very simple: whoever ate the most burgers within the allotted time won. Since the free meal vouchers were a fairly attractive prize, quite a few people had lined up to participate at the temporary stage set up in front of the restaurant.
Under the enormous midday sun, Tan Guhong and Huo Qiaonan stood in line for ages before finally drawing a number. Next came registration, grouping, and pre-competition preparations. The competition was about to begin.
Huo Qiaonan wore a T-shirt emblazoned with the burger restaurant’s enormous logo. Raising both hands, he said passionately to Tan Guhong, “Xiao Hong, I’m definitely going to win this competition! You have to cheer me on!”
Tan Guhong rolled her eyes and halfheartedly gave him a high five.
“Off you go, will you? The host has been calling you for ages.”
Huo Qiaonan turned and charged onto the stage. Once all ten contestants in their group were in place, the host blew the whistle, and the competition began immediately!
As energetic music rang out and the stopwatch raced forward, the spectators around them were swept up in the excitement and began loudly cheering for the contestants onstage.
Huo Qiaonan was already capable of eating an astonishing amount under normal circumstances, and he really did not disappoint now, stuffing burgers into his mouth without pause.
Eating by wolfing down food like this was hard on the body. Only half the allotted time had passed when quite a few contestants could no longer endure it and gave up. A while later, two more dropped out. Now only Huo Qiaonan and another man who looked to weigh around three hundred jin remained, battling it out.
The fat man’s friends below the stage shouted, “Fatty! Go!” “Fatty! Take down that dead punk!”
Tan Guhong could not help shouting too. “Huo Qiaonan, go! Show them the skill you had as a kid when you could eat eighteen baozi in one sitting!”
Huo Qiaonan really seemed to be inspired by those words. His pace, which had slowed somewhat, picked up again.
Every second counted. The competition was tense and thrilling. Finally, at the very last moment, Feizai became so nauseated that he dropped the burger in his hand, crouched down beside the stage, and started vomiting violently. Huo Qiaonan won the final victory!
Overcome with excitement, Huo Qiaonan held up a burger in each hand and, without even bothering to swallow the food still in his mouth, tilted his head toward the sky and shouted indistinctly:
“I’m the king of the burger!”
I am the King of Burgers!
And then he was disqualified on the spot and kicked out of the fast-food restaurant for shouting the opposing contestant’s slogan.
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