Lake
“Do I look like the kind of person you can really rely on?”
Sizhao folded his arms across his chest and curiously touched his own face. “Do I look sincere and kind?”
“You look like you have absolutely nothing to do with either of those words…” Zhuyu raised her chin and sized him up. “You’re very good-looking, but it’s the kind of good looks that would never make you responsible for anyone.”
Sizhao laughed. “Then why do you want to enter this kind of relationship with me?”
“I’m bored. I want to find something interesting to do…” Zhuyu leaned against the iron railing in front of the lake. “Don’t you think ordinary sleeping together, or clingy, lovey-dovey relationships, are boring? I think you’re a pretty interesting person, so I don’t want to play those games that anyone can play with you.”
She turned back and smiled at him. There was a kind of half-hearted mockery in her smile, not directed at him so much as at the commonplace affairs between men and women.
“The first half of my twenties has already given me more than enough experiences. All kinds of emotions eventually become very boring.” She opened the bottled black tea and tipped her head back for a sip.
“I’m not saying there was anything wrong with my past lovers. It’s just, don’t you think that actually, they, and me included, all have certain fixed patterns?
“The rhythm of talking to someone, the frequency of smiling, telling some interesting jokes at the right moment, sharing the movies and music we each like, talking about our experiences in high school and university… I always deliberately say exactly the same things. Of course, each of them is different. They each have their own charm. But when I was in Canada, I often felt a kind of barrier where words were useless.
“Even though I’ve talked to some people about my life in the Chinese countryside, none of them could really understand what that kind of life was. I can’t blame them. How could people born in Canada understand the things I experienced in Luzhen before I was fifteen?
“Hahahaha. After repeating the same things so many times, it’s not just me. I’d dare say you’re the same way too.
“Anyway, I’m tired of love, of feelings, of all that.”
Sizhao looked at her intently. “So, you want to establish a new kind of relationship with me?”
“Yes, with you. Of course, this isn’t a one-sided deal. You can refuse.” Zhuyu picked up a small stone and tossed it toward the still surface of the lake.
“I read your diary. Many years ago, when you were sick, you once thought that after coming into this world, you hadn’t found a single person who would completely support you, someone who would always stand behind you.
“If you agree to let me be your ally, then I’ll be that person who will always support you and do everything I can to help you.”
Sizhao couldn’t help but snicker. “That was something I wrote when I was a kid. I don’t even remember what I wrote in there. Allies have to be equal in ability to be called allies. Otherwise, it should be a relationship between a protector and the person being protected.
“The friendship between the two of us started ten years ago, anyway. If you need me to protect you, there’s nothing wrong with that. If you call me brother, then it’s something I should do.”
There was indeed an enormous disparity in power between the two of them. That was simply a fact. So Zhuyu wasn’t offended. Smiling, she said, “Lord Mengchang was detained and imprisoned by the King of Qin, and in the end, it was two petty thieves who saved his life with their little tricks. How do you know that one day you won’t need my help? Don’t speak too soon.”
She really wasn’t afraid of making a fool of herself by using the story of petty thieves and stolen dogs and chickens to describe herself.
“If I agree, what do you need me to do for you now?”
“Nothing.” She leaned her back against the iron railing. “I came up with this theory not because I want you to do things for me. Being allies is simply a way of reaching a new and interesting state of things.”
Sizhao leaned against the railing beside her and looked at the clear, deep water of the lake. “I need to think about it some more.”
“Fine. Then think about it.”
“What did I write in my diary?” he asked curiously.
“A diary of your illness. Records of your daily life.” She quietly observed his expression, convinced that he truly didn’t remember any of it.
He didn’t ask any further. Whatever he had written himself, it probably wasn’t anything particularly new. He had simply forgotten.
“Is the lake deep?” Sizhao pointed at the water.
Rows of red metasequoias stood in the water, not a single branch or leaf touching the surface, giving the vague impression that the water wasn’t very deep.
“It should be very deep. One of my nieces fell into the water once. She was not yet ten at the time, and by the time the adults pulled her out, her face had gone completely white. Xiao Ying should have fallen into this lake.
“After that, everyone in the family forbade us from swimming in reservoirs and lakes. If we were caught, we’d be beaten.”
“Here?”
“Yes. After she woke up, she told me that she had seen the world upside down underwater. The red trees were in the water, and the golden sun was floating overhead. When she reached out, she could touch it. It must have been here.”
Zhuyu seemed to think of something. She sat down and began taking off her shoes and socks. She pulled her wool skirt up and tied it in a knot at her thighs.
“What are you doing?” Sizhao was a little stunned. It was already late autumn, and the weather had turned cold. She couldn’t possibly be…
She stepped over the railing, climbed down onto the small hillside, and walked toward the lake.
“What exactly are you trying to do!” Sizhao reached out, wanting to grab her and stop her from going any farther.
“You said you wanted to know how deep the water is, so I’ll go find out for you. If I want you to see how much strength I have, how far I can go for you, then this is something I have to do for you, right?” There was an unusually lively gleam in Zhuyu’s expression.
“What nonsense are you talking about? I just asked casually. When did I ask you to go into the water yourself? Come back!” With no other choice, he climbed over the railing too.
She laughed. “Lord Mengchang has spoken. As his minister, I must do everything in my power.”
“Sizhao, I just want to know how deep the water really is. I’m going to walk to that row of metasequoias. They look very close, at most a hundred meters away. If the water reaches my neck, I’ll stop. If it doesn’t, I’ll keep walking until I can touch one of the trees.” Her bare feet were already in the water. Without turning her head, she said to Sizhao, “Don’t come over. Don’t touch the water. You’ve only just recovered from your illness. Don’t get a fever again.”
The lake water came lapping against her again and again, so cold that it made her shiver. Zhuyu strode forward, but after only a few steps, the water had already risen past her waist. To reach the metasequoias a hundred meters away, she would inevitably plunge straight into water so deep its bottom could not be seen. There was no way she could simply reach the bottom with her feet and “walk” there.
Zhuyu stopped when the water reached her chin, as though considering the relationship between distance and water depth.
Then she disappeared beneath the surface.
Sizhao had no time to think about anything else. He stripped off his jacket and trousers and plunged straight into the water.
In the clear lake water, she opened her eyes wide and looked upward at the restless setting sun. The shadows of the red metasequoias twisted and broke with the waves, all of them falling into the water. It was so quiet. There was not a sound at the bottom of the lake. The person was enveloped by cold, enclosed waves, as though she had entered outer space. This tranquility lasted only for a brief moment.
Someone swam toward her, grabbed her arm, and roughly dragged her back toward the shallows.
“Do you agree or not?” Both she and he surfaced. “Come on, say it.”
Seeing him choking on the water and coughing repeatedly, Zhuyu burst into laughter. She found the moment very amusing.
“Sheng Zhuyu, sooner or later, I’m going to lose my life because of you…” He wiped the water from his face with one hand, his voice already sounding weak and exhausted.
Seeing that Sizhao did not argue, Zhuyu reached her own conclusion. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
“The shallow water is more than three meters deep. I have no idea how deep the middle of the lake is.” She climbed ashore dripping wet, looking like a water ghost, walked to the back seat of the car, and took out a spare overcoat.
“Ah, Brother Xiao Zhao, I did all this for you. You said you wanted to know how deep the water was, so I jumped in to find out for you.” She spoke in a slow, languid voice. As she talked, she turned her back to Sizhao, took off her wet clothes, and put on the thick coat.
“I said I wanted the stars in the sky. Would you go pick them for me too?” Sizhao knew he had been tricked by her. This was simply another mischievous idea she had come up with. Just like standing in the rain and letting herself get soaked, it was merely her way of finding something to amuse herself.
“Why wouldn’t I? I’d take a plane there if I had to!” She twisted her long hair hard, wringing it as though it were a towel.
“You clearly wanted to jump into the water yourself. Why drag me into it? Aren’t you ashamed?”
Zhuyu showed three parts embarrassment, but her tone soon became light again. “Among the children in our family, except for Xiao Ying, who accidentally fell into the water, none of us ever had the chance to swim in this reservoir or these lakes. Actually, this lake is also part of our family’s mountain land, but we’ve never been allowed to swim here, from childhood to adulthood. It’s rare for me to come here, so I was genuinely curious what it would feel like to jump into the lake.
“Xiao Ying said that underwater, she saw colors like those in a kaleidoscope, unbelievably beautiful. I looked carefully underwater just now, and it really seemed like there was something like that. But I hadn’t gotten a good enough look before you pulled me out.”
Sizhao was already sitting inside the car. “That’s called a near-death experience. When someone is close to dying, strange scenes can appear before their eyes. There’s even a foreign documentary specifically about it. You really are… completely crazy.”
“Ah, so that’s what it is…” she asked slowly. “Then have you ever experienced it?”
“I haven’t gotten to that point yet!” Sizhao started the car, and it drove back along the road they had come from.
“You haven’t gotten to that point because of the appearance of Xunli. Sizhao, originally I thought you hated Xunli very much. Later I realized that wasn’t the case. You want to hate him, but you can’t. Your heart is a hundred times better than you make it seem.”
“Then you’re mistaken…”
“That’s exactly how it is. I’m not mistaken. It was because I discovered that you’re a good person that I wanted to make that kind of agreement with you. You’re very reliable.”
Sizhao turned on the heat inside the car and wiped the rearview mirror clean. Throughout the process, he said nothing.
Then, when he spoke again, he said, “Have you heard that story? The mountain god’s curse.”
“I’ve heard it from beginning to end.”
He had been preparing to tell her the story, but it seemed there was no need now.
“The reason I can’t buy this mountain is in that story. Maybe you think it’s complete nonsense, but…”
Before he could finish, she gently interrupted him.
“I know. I know all of it. And I believe it.”
When the old windshield wipers swept away the beads of condensation from the windshield, they made a scraping ka-ka sound. It became the only sound between the two of them.
Sizhao said, “I can’t give you what you truly need.”
“I know.”
“Why did you want to make that kind of agreement with me?”
“You mentioned this wish in your diary…” Zhuyu half-reclined in her seat. “‘No one truly cares about my leaving. Father still has Xunli, and Mom has a new son.’
“I read the diary and saw your wish. You said Morituri te salutant. As the only person who has read that diary, may I understand it as you being the gladiator about to die, and me being the emperor you salute?
“Hahaha, emperor…” She repeated the word with considerable relish, then turned her burning gaze toward him. “Why don’t you let me fulfill your wish?”
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