Fever
Just as dawn was breaking, Zhuyu was already lying awake on an unfamiliar bed. She went downstairs, took a bag of toast out of the refrigerator, toasted it in the toaster, then fried some eggs and bacon and poured two glasses of cold milk.
Once everything was ready, she went upstairs to ask if he wanted breakfast, only to discover that Si Zhao's forehead was burning hot and that he was groggy all over. He had a high fever.
She searched all over the house for medicine but couldn't find any, so she planned to put on her coat and go down the mountain to the pharmacy to buy some fever medicine. But he forced himself to sit up, his voice hoarse and low. “I need to go to the hospital.”
Zhuyu assumed he meant the hospital in town.
“No, not here. I need to go back to the city.”
Not long afterward, a car drove into the mountains. His secretary and driver had come to pick him up and take him back.
Yesterday's heavy rain and the night seemed like a dream. She had thought it would still be some time before the day he left, but unexpectedly, that day was today.
Fortunately, she hadn't... hadn't shown any unnecessary feelings. They were going to part sooner or later anyway.
Sizhao coughed, looking very unwell. Before leaving, he stood facing Zhuyu, not knowing where to begin. They had parted on bad terms again last night, and there were still things he hadn't told her. This was not the right occasion to talk.
“Take care of yourself. Get some good rest.” She kept her hands behind her back, her eyes fixed on the tips of her shoes as she spoke. She didn't ask whether he would come back, or when.
There was no point in asking.
He was going back to the city sooner or later.
“Thank you for making me breakfast. I didn't have time to eat it today. Next time.”
She nodded. It was fine to end things like this.
Unfortunately, an awkward little incident happened at the moment of parting. Liu Sizhao extended his right hand, and almost at exactly the same moment, Zhuyu raised her hand to his shoulder and leaned in, just about to kiss him on the cheek. He was startled and stepped back, leaving her to kiss empty air.
American social etiquette called for a handshake, while in the French-speaking regions of Canada, the custom was to exchange cheek kisses. Mortified, Zhuyu's face flushed bright red. Without saying a word, she picked up her bag and hurried out of the villa ahead of him.
By the time she came back down the mountain and reached home, it was nearly noon. It was Saturday, and everyone in the family had gone out to play mahjong. A bowl of egg fried rice had been left on the table.
Zhuyu wasn't hungry. The breakfast for two she had eaten that morning still left her feeling somewhat full.
It had only rained yesterday, and the ground was terribly muddy, so work in the orchard had to stop for a day.
With nothing to do, she could only play with the little white-haired Shiba Inu in the yard. She waved the foxtail grass in her hand, teasing the puppy into pouncing back and forth. Her thoughts drifted somewhat aimlessly. He had suddenly come down with a fever today. Was it because he'd gotten soaked in the rain yesterday?
The gate to the yard suddenly opened. Chen Yujing pushed the door open and came home, her little face fallen and full of displeasure.
Her older female cousin had carefully done a full face of makeup and was wearing a light green lace dress. It looked as though she had gone out on a date.
“Don't ask. I was supposed to go on a date, but Liu Ruiming was suddenly called away to take care of something. He said he might be able to get away this afternoon. If he can't make it this afternoon, then tomorrow.”
Absentmindedly, Zhuyu made the puppy spin in circles. “His boss really has a lot going on. He still sends people out to work on Saturdays.”
Chen Yujing hesitated for a moment, then steeled herself. “Forget it, I won't beat around the bush with you. Liu Ruiming is Liu Sizhao's secretary. You stayed at his house last night, didn't you? His old illness flared up again today, and he was taken to the hospital. From the looks of it, it seems pretty serious.”
The puppy finally managed to catch the foxtail grass. It shook its head from side to side with it dangling from its mouth, then contentedly lay down.
“...Flared up again?”
“Don't tell anyone, okay? Technically, he shouldn't have told me. I coaxed the information out of him. But your whole family knows Liu Sizhao, so you're not exactly an outsider. Once he comes back from the hospital, he'll tell you himself sooner or later.”
She had heard him tell Peng Yu earlier that his illness had relapsed. At the time, she had thought he was lying. She hadn't expected it to be true.
“Leukemia. It's very difficult to treat. Even after finally recovering, there's still a fairly high chance of relapse.”
It was as though everything had suddenly fallen into place, and there was an answer now. Sizhao's illness had relapsed. That was why he had given up work and come all the way to the countryside to recuperate. It was true that he had handed the company over to someone else to manage. It was true that he had withdrawn from it.
“Hey, you didn't start dating him, did you?” Chen Yujing sat down on a little bamboo stool and took off her high heels, looking considerably more comfortable.
Zhuyu shook her head.
“I didn't think there was much chance of that either. He looks so... high above everyone else. But Third Auntie and your dad are a little worried. They both know he's in poor health. If you really did start dating him and something happened later, you'd be the one who'd suffer.
“Your dad said that no matter how short of money he was, he wasn't willing to gamble his daughter's lifelong happiness on it.”
“What are you even talking about?” Zhuyu gave a somewhat forced laugh.
Chen Yujing went inside, brought out the egg fried rice, and ate while teasing the puppy. “Remember? When you first came back, I told you that there used to be a very wealthy boss who came to Sunzi Mountain to blast apart the mountains and mine them. In the end, he offended the mountain god and unfortunately died in a car accident. That person was Liu Sizhao's father. Now that I think about it, maybe the mountain god's anger still hasn't subsided. Now it's Liu Sizhao's turn.”
“How could that be?” Zhuyu's voice suddenly grew quiet, as though she were too exhausted to make a sound.
“Why couldn't it be? Anything is possible... Otherwise, why would he keep getting sick? From father to son, their luck has been terrible. The whole family is practically down to no one.” Her cousin happened to look up and catch Zhuyu's expression. She immediately asked in surprise, “You like him?”
Zhuyu's expression was far too obvious. There was no way she would believe that nothing had happened between the two of them.
“Nothing happened between us...”
The chubby little puppy panted heavily at the girls' feet. It had worn itself out playing and was ready to sleep in the yard.
Toward evening, Third Auntie and Third Uncle brought Qiqi home. Dinner was ready, and Third Auntie shouted from downstairs for all the boys and girls in the family to come out and eat.
Chen Yujing put a finger to her lips and quietly told the family not to call for her cousin. “Zhuyu has a cold. She’s dizzy and groggy, and that heavy rain last night really did a number on her. She’s sleeping in her room.”
In the bedroom, Zhuyu curled up in the rattan chair. The screen in her hand went dark. She slid her index finger across it, and it lit up again. The words in the chat box had already been typed, but she had never sent them.
A little while later, the light went out again.
【Are you okay? Has your fever gone down?】
After waiting for a long time, she deleted the words one by one. On second thought, forget it.
This wasn’t an ordinary fever that would be gone by the next day. If she sent it, it meant making him take the trouble to come up with comforting words for her again. In the short term, and perhaps even for a long time, he wouldn’t be coming back. Only a major hospital in the city could treat his illness.
Half asleep and half awake, she lay in the rattan chair when her phone vibrated.
【My fever’s down. The doctor says I still need to be monitored for a while. I’ll come back in two weeks.】
This was one thing WeChat was genuinely good at. There was no way for the other person to tell whether a message had been read or not. Even if she was holding her phone and staring at those words, analyzing them over and over again.
She had a whole stomachful of things she wanted to ask, but not a single one was something she could bring herself to ask.
“Typing...” continued for a while. Several minutes passed.
【I’m sorry. I didn’t know that was a cheek kiss. Now I know. Next time, I definitely won’t pull away.】
He probably thought Zhuyu was angry.
His illness had relapsed, yet he hadn’t told her and continued seeing her. He didn’t know whether he would live or die in the future, nor did he care whether she would be heartbroken when the time came. He had abandoned his younger brother and refused to look for him anymore, bluntly telling Zhuyu that he was cold-blooded and heartless to the extreme.
Even so, despite being such a person, when Zhuyu saw the two messages he sent, large tears still fell onto the screen, blurring the words.
“How could it have relapsed? He’s only twenty-eight...” She began to sob, not wanting to make a sound.
She had spent the entire afternoon searching through every piece of information she could find online, only to learn that with this kind of illness, a relapse could be even more dangerous, with a very low survival rate.
【I’m not angry. Have you eaten dinner?】
【I have. I ate something light. Have you eaten?】
Was it because she had insisted on standing in the rain, and he had stayed out there with her for half a day, causing him to develop a fever and relapse? She wanted to ask, but she didn’t dare.
Zhuyu wiped away a tear with a tissue. 【I ate. Braised pork ribs.】
Liu Sizhao sat on the hospital bed, resting his chin in his hand. He felt that this girl, Sheng Zhuyu, looked imposing and stern, but in reality, she was quite easy to appease. He had made her blush bright red that day, yet she was still willing to talk to him that evening.
“She probably likes me, right? At least a little?” He recalled the way she had looked at him, still unable to make up his mind.
His status, reputation, and wealth were all parts of who he was. He did not dare say that these qualities had played no part at all in his past romantic relationships.
Zhuyu, however, was completely different. She held to a set of values that ran counter to those of the vast majority of people. He knew this perfectly well.
【About what happened last night, I didn’t finish what I wanted to say. I’ll tell you next time, face to face.】
Zhuyu blew her nose with a tissue, thought for a moment, and decided that she really couldn’t keep doing things that wronged him.
【Actually, there’s something I need to confess to you.】
When Liu Sizhao saw the message, he involuntarily held his breath, and his heart suddenly began beating very fast. It seemed distance really did have an effect. They had only been apart for half a day, and now she was going to confess her feelings to him?
If he had known, he should have gone back to the mountains that afternoon. Saying this sort of thing over the phone just didn’t feel right.
【Go ahead.】
He stared at his phone without blinking, waiting for the “Typing...” on the other end to finish.
【Last month, when I went to your house to clean, I found your diary in the little attic. It was the first time we’d met again after so many years, and things had gone badly between us. In a fit of anger, I stuffed your diary into my bag and took it with me. I’m sorry. I’ll return it to you as soon as you come back.】
He lay down, dispirited.
【It’s fine. You took it, so you took it. It’s fine even if you opened it and read it.】
Sizhao covered his face with a pillow and let out a muffled sigh.
【No, I didn’t read it!】
【It’s fine. I don’t blame you...】
【Your handwriting is too messy. I had a hard time making out even the first line, so I didn’t bother reading any further.】
If someone genuinely liked another person, they would go to the trouble of finding out everything about them, collecting every scrap of information about them. His diary from his youth had fallen into her hands, and she couldn’t even be bothered to read it. What did that say?
She simply didn’t think much of him at all.
For Liu Sizhao, whose romantic life had gone smoothly for twenty-eight years, this fact was no less than a crushing blow to the head. If she didn’t like him, she didn’t like him. The more proactive he was, the less she would like him.
Sizhao had already forgotten what he had written in the diary. Probably just some unimportant things. He hadn’t realized that, indirectly, he had given Zhuyu permission to read his diary.
At the same time, she opened to the first page.
【February 10, 2011. Light snow.
It’s ridiculous. I suddenly have a younger brother.】
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