Extra 6 – Night Train
Xiang You was still waiting.
The winter night grew colder and colder. The convenience store had no air conditioning on, so she wrapped her padded coat more tightly around herself and ordered another serving of oden.
Rather than something to eat, it seemed more like something to warm her hands with. Xiang You clasped it between both hands, desperately drawing in that precious little bit of warmth as she quietly watched the increasingly sparse traffic outside the window.
Meng Ou had played tricks on her plenty of times. Some of his jokes, when she thought about them, were rather mean.
And now, they had already broken up. She was hardly a qualified ex-girlfriend either, refusing to give him a definite answer and then turning around and asking him for help.
If Meng Ou held a grudge against her and deliberately made her sit there waiting stupidly through a winter night, it was not entirely impossible.
Xiang You knew this in her heart, but she was still waiting.
She did not intend to ask him anymore, either. She would just keep waiting like this.
Until the convenience store could no longer stand watching and chased her out, until the sun that had set rose again, until Meng Ou called her and told her she had been played for a fool.
Whatever the outcome, she could accept it.
She needed to give this tangled-up relationship a definite ending.
She absolutely did not want to become Pavlov's dog, her heart left in turmoil for days every time Meng Ou appeared.
She wanted to let her heart die completely just once, and that would inevitably require paying some price.
Let everything end with this winter night.
The oden broth had already gone cold. Xiang You got up and threw it into the trash. Just as she was wondering whether to buy something else, her phone rang.
In this convenience store, where no one came in at this late hour, the ringtone sounded especially piercing.
Xiang You fumbled around and pulled out her phone. Looking at that “Stupid Seagull” with no device note, she pressed her lips together tightly.
She had to face it sooner or later.
She pressed the answer button and carefully raised the phone to her ear.
Amid the faint crackle of static, his voice carried a slight huskiness: “I’m downstairs at your place. Come down. It’s cold outside, so remember to wear something warmer.”
Was this... a prank?
If he wanted to trick her into coming outside, there seemed to be no need to tell her to dress warmly.
For some inexplicable reason, Xiang You’s nose began to sting.
“I’m at the Lawson at the entrance to the neighborhood,” she said.
“Oh, then wait for me two minutes. I’ll drive over now.” His tone on the other end was utterly ordinary.
Now she seemed able to confirm that Meng Ou really was coming.
Xiang You grabbed the bento that had been sitting there for a long time. When she had first arrived at the convenience store, thinking Meng Ou would come soon, she had had it heated up.
And now, it had gone completely cold again. Xiang You walked back to the counter and asked the clerk to heat it up once more.
With one hand pulling her suitcase and the other holding the bento, Xiang You stepped straight into the cold wind outside.
This time, she did not have to wait long before, amid the vast darkness of the night, she finally saw a pair of headlights coming toward her.
It was still that familiar black Volvo, the huge monster that had looked so striking at first glance in daylight. At this moment, it almost blended into the night.
Meng Ou pulled the car across the entrance and, with utmost naturalness, came forward to take her luggage and opened the trunk.
“Why didn’t you wait for me inside the store? It’s so cold out here.” After putting away her luggage and closing the trunk, Meng Ou said it casually.
Xiang You gave a vague “Mm.”
“What’s wrong?” Meng Ou glanced at her.
Xiang You said nothing, lowering her head as she walked toward the passenger seat.
Her throat felt constricted. She was afraid that the moment she opened her mouth, her voice would come out choked with tears.
The last time she had sat in this car, it had still belonged to Meng Ou’s father.
Back then, there had been all sorts of things inside the car. There had been a string of jade pendants hanging up in the front, as well as a seated statue of the Big-Bellied Buddha. But now, none of those things remained. It was so clean and tidy that it looked like a new car.
The only thing left was a box of tissues tossed into one corner of the center console, with the words “XX Petrochemical” printed on it. At a glance, it was obviously something the gas station had given him when he refueled.
Xiang You silently fastened her seat belt and handed him the bento. “I’ll properly treat you to a meal another time.”
Afraid that she would give herself away, she spoke very softly.
Meng Ou took the bento and casually placed it on the center console.
He probably disliked it.
Xiang You lowered her head, only to hear a faint click. Then a cluster of dim yellow light came on inside the car.
With the darkness gone, none of her emotions could hide.
Meng Ou switched on the reading light and said, “What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing.” Unfortunately, the lack of conviction in her voice was obvious.
“Xiang You.” Meng Ou raised a hand and placed it on her shoulder. “Look at me when you talk.”
Fine. She would look at him.
Xiang You gathered her courage, raised her head, and stared straight at him.
Under the dim light, his already well-defined features were rendered in even sharper light and shadow. With the shadows falling casually across his face, he would have been an excellent subject for a sketch.
“Why do you look like that?” Meng Ou’s voice was very gentle.
Xiang You said nothing. She pressed her lips together and stared at him as tears gathered more and more in her eyes.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying too?”
Meng Ou raised his hand somewhat helplessly, wanting to wipe away her tears, only to see her lower her head and throw herself into his arms.
“I thought you didn’t want me anymore...”
As though someone had flipped a switch, Xiang You burst into tears in an instant.
All the anxiety, grievance, and unease she had just been holding inside were released completely along with her tears.
Her head was such a mess, so much of a mess that she could not even screen the words coming out of her mouth.
She could clearly have said, “I thought you weren’t coming,” or “Why did you make me wait so long?” But what her instincts sent out was this instead:
“I thought you didn’t want me anymore.”
When she had been sitting all alone in the convenience store, she had truly felt as though she had been abandoned.
Meng Ou gently stroked her back again and again. “I didn’t stop wanting you. How could I possibly not want you?”
Rationality gradually returned to Xiang You’s mind, and her face reddened a little.
She awkwardly rubbed the corner of Meng Ou’s clothes, too embarrassed to look up at him. Still buried in his arms, she said, “Then why did you only come now...”
“I’m sorry.” Meng Ou let out a bitter laugh. “When you called me, I happened to be on the expressway heading back. As soon as I got your call, I hurriedly looked for the nearest exit.”
“It’s just that I didn’t expect the expressway going back to be congested, and the expressway coming out was even more congested. It’s been jammed all the way until now. I should have called you again. Why didn’t you call me either?”
Xiang You was too embarrassed to say what she had just been thinking.
She had originally thought this would be the end, but now it seemed that this tangled mess really could not be sorted out.
It even showed signs of continuing to spread.
Xiang You buried her head a little deeper. “I thought...”
She could not go on.
“You thought I didn’t want you anymore? How could I?” Meng Ou let out a self-deprecating little laugh and murmured, almost as though speaking to himself, “It’s only ever been you not wanting me, okay?”
A wave of guilt welled up in Xiang You’s heart.
She did not dare look at Meng Ou’s face, but she could not keep clinging to him forever either. She could only lower her head and retreat from his arms, blindly pointing at the air. “Um, why don’t you eat the bento first?”
“A single bento and you’re sending me on my way?” Meng Ou teased her.
“No.” Xiang You hurriedly said, “I’ll treat you to another meal after we get back.”
“For such a huge favor, one meal isn’t enough.” Meng Ou had returned to his old carefree, devil-may-care self.
And Xiang You liked him this way. It finally let her relax too, and she chimed in, “Then I’ll treat you to a few more.”
“A few?” Meng Ou asked.
“As many as you say.”
“You’re done for, Xiang Youyou.” Meng Ou said as he unwrapped the bento. “From now on, whenever I have nothing to do, I’ll come mooch a meal off you. Don’t let me eat you into bankruptcy.”
“How are you such a bad person...” Xiang You chided him.
“Only just realized? Too late.” Meng Ou picked up a piece of meat and held it to her lips. “Here, have a taste. I’m telling you, regretting it won’t help either. Start thinking about what you’re going to treat me to next time.”
Xiang You chewed as she thought, then swallowed. “I can’t think of anything.”
“Then take your time.” Meng Ou said. “When you’ve thought of something, tell me. I’m free anytime.”
The choice seemed to have lightly returned to her hands once again.
After finishing the bento, Meng Ou got back on the road.
The car sped along the elevated highway in the dead of night, the streetlights strung together into a line of dazzling light. Playing inside the car was not impassioned rock music, but a lingering blues song, a smoky female voice singing with utmost languor.
Xiang You leaned against the seat in a comfortable position, turning slightly to watch Meng Ou drive. There was an inexplicable sense of calm and peace in her heart.
Meng Ou’s driving posture was not exactly textbook. His left hand gripped the wheel at the ten o’clock position, while his right hand rested loosely on the gearshift. It really would have been a shame not to give him a manual transmission.
Sensing her sidelong glance, Meng Ou shot her a quick look. “What are you looking at?”
“Just looking.” It was late at night, and Xiang You’s voice had taken on a few shades of laziness.
“Aren’t you cold? There’s a blanket in the back, or I can turn on the air conditioning for you.” Meng Ou said.
“I’m not cold.” Xiang You struggled to poke her head out from inside her padded coat. “I just... don’t want to sit upright.”
Hearing this, Meng Ou could not help laughing. His index finger tapped lightly against the steering wheel.
She really thought things were good like this.
The temperature inside the car was just right, the seat soft and comfortable, the music soothing and lingering, the night scenery flowing past outside the window beautiful, and Meng Ou sitting right beside her.
Since graduating, there seemed to have been no moment more comfortable than this.
It was hard to say which part was better, but taken together, they were undoubtedly perfect.
Traffic within the city was moving smoothly. But once they entered the expressway, the endless tide of Chunyun seemed to have no end in sight.
“Get ready to eat breakfast when we get home.” Meng Ou started and stopped the car repeatedly as he joked.
Xiang You had rarely seen the expressway during Chunyun. She stretched her neck and strained to look at the stream of traffic, her brows unconsciously drawing together.
“Speaking of which, how did you manage to forget to buy a ticket?” Meng Ou asked, glancing at her from the corner of his eye.
Xiang You went “shoop” and pulled her head back in, like a little turtle that only wanted to run away whenever it encountered a problem.
Her voice came out somewhat muffled from inside her padded coat. “I bought one, but I didn’t pay for it.”
“How down-and-out have you become, Xiang Youyou? You can’t even afford a train ticket anymore?” Meng Ou teased. “Can I still get reimbursed for those few hundred meals?”
“I’m not unable to pay. I just forgot.” Xiang You suddenly came to her senses. “A few hundred meals? You’re extorting me.”
“Well, of course I have to take advantage of you while I can and extort you for all you’re worth.” Meng Ou was shamelessly roguish.
“It’s obviously all your fault...” With the zipper of her padded coat pulled all the way up, Xiang You had only a pair of bright eyes showing from inside. She muttered softly, “I had already placed the order that day, and then you suddenly wanted to add me...”
“And then you forgot to pay?” Meng Ou finished for her.
Xiang You gave an “Mm,” only to feel afterward that something was not quite right.
Forgetting something this important because of a single message from an ex was, to put it mildly, a little pathetic.
A soft laugh came from beside her, followed by words that inexplicably carried a hint of indulgence: “All right, it’s all my fault.”
Xiang You really wanted to joke around with him like he did, to say something like, “Then you have to make it up to me.”
But she could not bring herself to say it. She only sank a little deeper into her seat. Until even her eyes disappeared inside, and in the darkness, she could feel her cheeks burning hot.
After leaving the Changrui section, the expressway became even more hopelessly congested.
The traffic had not moved an inch for half an hour. Quite a few people could not stand staying inside their cars any longer and got out to stretch their legs.
Meng Ou leaned back in the driver’s seat and wearily yawned.
“Why don’t you sleep for a while? I’ll keep watch for you.” Xiang You said.
“Aren’t you tired?” Meng Ou looked at her. “You looked listless the moment you got in the car.”
“I’m not tired.” As though trying to prove it, Xiang You opened her eyes a little wider.
“I know, your eyes got rounder.” Meng Ou laughed as he looked at her, then reclined his seat a little. “Then I’ll take a nap.”
“Mm...” Xiang You pulled down the zipper of her padded coat a little and straightened her back, looking fully prepared to stand watch seriously.
The unmoving scenery outside was incredibly boring. Xiang You quietly watched as someone outside the car finished an entire cigarette, then silently turned her head toward the driver’s seat.
Meng Ou looked like an entirely different person asleep than when he was awake. With his eyes closed, that sly light in his gaze disappeared, as though his hard outer shell had also fallen away, leaving his entire person so gentle that there was not the slightest trace of aggression.
He even looked almost fragile, yet at the same time, he was like a gentle blade, stirring Xiang You’s heart into complete chaos.
What should she do?
She asked herself.
What should she do, Xiang You? How had she fallen into his hands again and again, no matter how many times she tried?
The car was a little cold with the engine off. Xiang You gently pulled the zipper of her padded coat back up, then turned her head and saw the blanket on the back seat.
She stretched out her arm as quietly as possible to reach for the blanket, then carefully covered Meng Ou with it.
Meng Ou was not sleeping very deeply. The small disturbance made him frown and let out two muffled hums. Unconsciously, he raised a hand and felt around for the blanket covering him, incidentally catching Xiang You’s hand before she could pull it back.
Then he simply fell asleep again, lightly holding her hand.
For Xiang You, this was by no means a comfortable position.
Her whole body leaned toward the driver’s seat, her waist wedged against the hard gearshift console, her legs awkwardly bent.
But for some reason, she could not bear to pull her hand away.
In her palm was the soft cashmere blanket; on the back of her hand was his warm hand, his fingers slightly curled as they held hers with a hint of longing.
A small section of his watch showed beneath the cuff of his shirt, gleaming with a deep, shadowy sheen in the darkness. Xiang You stared at that small ring of light, and before she knew it, she seemed to have fallen into it.
Meng Ou was woken by the sound of horns sounding one after another.
The honking came from the traffic ahead. Judging by the sound, they had probably gotten through a stretch of road. But some drivers who had fallen asleep like him had forgotten to start driving and keep up.
She wondered whether they simply had no one to remind them, or whether the person who had promised to remind them had also, like the person beside her...
Meng Ou lowered his head and saw that Xiang You’s hand was still being held by him, while she herself had fallen asleep with her head resting on the gearshift console.
“Youyou.” He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “Get up first. Go sleep in the back.”
“Ah...” Xiang You lifted her head in a daze, her eyes vacant. “How did I fall asleep? Isn’t the traffic jam over?”
Meng Ou glanced at the traffic, which had begun to move. “Mm, it should be soon. Go lie down in the back. Isn’t it uncomfortable sleeping like this?”
“Uncomfortable...” Xiang You whimpered as she rubbed her aching waist, yet she still remembered to apologize to him. “Sorry. I don’t know how I fell asleep.”
“It’s okay. You didn’t hold anything up.” Meng Ou handed her the blanket he had been covered with, then paused slightly. “Did you cover me with it?”
“Mm...” Xiang You rubbed her eyes as she answered indistinctly.
Meng Ou pressed his lips together to suppress the smile that was threatening to rise, lowering his eyes to the blanket in his hands.
He had almost been reluctant to give it back.
Xiang You ultimately did not go to the back seat to sleep. She wrapped herself up in the blanket until she looked like a silkworm cocoon, watching the stream of traffic come back to life.
At some point along the way, her parents called and asked why she still had not arrived home.
“Was that your uncle and aunt calling?” Meng Ou asked after she hung up.
“Mm...”
“It’s New Year’s and all... When I drop you off at home later, should I bring some gifts or something?”
“Huh?” Xiang You had not thought of that at all.
After all his trouble getting her home, it seemed inappropriate to have him leave immediately. But if she invited him inside to sit for a while, she had no idea how she would explain things to her parents.
“I had a few boxes of pastries sent from friends in City A. If your parents don’t mind...” Meng Ou said. “I was in a hurry and didn’t have time to prepare anything.”
For some reason, that sounded a little strange.
She knew it was simply a New Year’s visit, but it somehow felt like he was meeting her parents, and as her...
“No need. They don’t like eating pastries.” Xiang You said weakly.
“Don’t you like them?”
“Hmm?”
“You like them, so just consider them a gift for you.” Meng Ou said.
Then what should she give Meng Ou?
Xiang You always felt as though she had not quite grown up yet. When it came to customs and traditions during the holidays, she was always only half-aware of them.
What day to visit whom for the New Year, what New Year’s goods to bring, she knew none of it. All she had to do was obediently follow behind her parents, say a few auspicious words, and collect a red envelope that would keep being handed to her until she got married.
So naturally, she had not bought any New Year’s goods either. Her suitcase was packed full of pretty new clothes for the holiday and a few miscellaneous everyday things.
“What do you like, then...” Xiang You asked rather embarrassedly.
“You don’t know what I like?” Meng Ou asked in return.
“I know, but I don’t know what you’re supposed to give someone for New Year’s.” She was not a goldfish with a memory that lasted only seconds. Of course she remembered all of Meng Ou’s preferences, so much so that she could not forget them even if she wanted to.
“So, are you planning to come to my house for a New Year’s visit?” Meng Ou asked with a laugh.
Xiang You’s mind went “boom,” and her ears began to buzz.
“I’m not, no, um, I just thought we should return the favor...” Her words came out in a flustered jumble.
“What day are you planning to go back after the New Year?” Meng Ou suddenly asked a completely unrelated question.
“Probably the fifth day. I’ll have to go back and get things sorted out.” Although Xiang You was a little confused, she still answered seriously.
“Want to leave together on the fifth? You can treat me to a meal then, and consider that your return gift.” Meng Ou said.
She did not have to go to his house for a New Year’s visit anymore.
Xiang You felt somewhat relieved.
She really was not prepared for that yet. She preferred for everything to happen slowly.
Once they got past that stretch of congestion, the traffic became increasingly smooth.
At three in the morning, Meng Ou finally dropped her off at home.
Meng Ou helped her take out her luggage, then placed a large box of pastries on top of it. “Then I won’t walk you inside.”
“Mm...” Xiang You nodded. “Thank you. Happy New Year’s Eve.”
“Happy New Year’s Eve.”
Xiang You had barely taken a few steps with her luggage when the door suddenly opened from inside.
Her family lived in an old-fashioned house with its own small courtyard. Her parents had probably heard the commotion outside and came out to open the door still wrapped in their pajamas.
“You haven’t come home, so neither of us could sleep. The traffic was so bad on the way, wasn’t it?” The moment her mother opened the door, she immediately fussed over her.
Xiang You stiffly handed her luggage to her father, while Meng Ou, who had not yet had time to get back into his car, stood awkwardly where he was, facing them in silence.
“And this is...” Her mother stared at him for quite a while. There was already an answer in her mind, but she was not certain.
After all, the last time they had met had been back in high school. And besides, hadn't the two of them broken up a long time ago? She could not help feeling puzzled.
Her father’s gaze, meanwhile, held considerably more wariness. Even his back straightened a little.
Caught between them, Xiang You was terribly embarrassed. She reached out, wanting to push her parents back inside first, when she heard Meng Ou speak from behind her.
“Uncle, Auntie, I’m Meng Ou.” He gave them a respectful bow. “Sorry to disturb you so late at night. Happy New Year’s Eve.”
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