Chapter 21 – baggage
Before leaving, Xiang You had already made many plans in her heart.
If Meng Ou decided to return to the province for her, or asked whether she wanted to try a long-distance relationship, she would stay in City A with him without hesitation.
She had already spoken with her parents about it, and had even arranged several interviews in City A.
She really had considered staying here with Meng Ou.
But Meng Ou chose the one path she hated most of all.
It was like choosing the wrong option in a galgame, inevitably reaching a BE.
All she wanted was an attitude.
Later, she saw plenty of jokes making fun of how women in love always wanted an “attitude” from the other person, while men were often utterly baffled, unable to understand what this mysterious, intangible thing called an attitude was.
But don’t those success-manual types always say that attitude determines everything?
Did “everything” simply not include love, or was love simply not something they would go out of their way to pursue?
But Xiang You no longer cared.
She left as soon as she finished speaking, her teeth clenched tightly because she was afraid that crying in front of everyone would look too ugly. Her eyes, opened wide, looked fierce.
Meng Ou naturally followed after her, but she forcefully twisted his wrist away.
Xiang You put all her strength into it and lowered her voice, telling him to stop bothering her.
“If you have even a little conscience, then at least leave me with a good impression of you,” she said.
And Meng Ou let go.
But Xiang You did not think that counted as a good impression.
What exactly she wanted, she herself was not entirely sure.
Sometimes, she felt that she was a little too twisted about things.
The feeling of breaking up was strange.
The moment Xiang You left the restaurant, she turned into the emergency exit stairwell and cried her eyes out.
Perhaps that one bout of crying drained all the tears she had. Someone who could burst into tears at the slightest thing somehow never cried over it again afterward.
It was just that her heart seemed to have been poked a hole through it, leaking a little every day, a little every day.
Her emotions were gradually drained away, until she became unbearably hollow...
Even the bitterness and sadness, those small negative emotions, were taken away without distinction.
Xiang You was very calm.
She deleted all their contact information and threw away some of the couple items they had kept as decorations.
She did keep some of the practical things, but they no longer had anything to do with Meng Ou.
She politely declined the interviews in City A, sent her applications again to companies in Changrui, and booked her plane ticket too, a direct flight during the daytime at full price.
If she still bought a discounted ticket for the last time, it somehow seemed a little too miserable.
She thought perhaps she was simply born cold-hearted and indifferent.
Just like when she had broken up with her first love, she had moved on very quickly. Even when the other person had cried and begged her desperately, she had remained unmoved.
But there were always certain moments.
Seeing someone with the surname “Meng” on a list; seeing the drink he liked at the supermarket; passing a movie theater and noticing that a director he loved had a new film out...
It was these tiny, fragmented moments that would suddenly stab her.
Her heart had not yet completely lost its sense of pain, so she could still feel that instant of hurt.
The last time she collected the clothes from the balcony, Xiang You gazed into the distance at the construction site and was surprised to discover that they had recently resumed work.
Her heart was stabbed again.
She remembered Meng Ou telling her, “When the construction site is finally completed someday, I’ll grant you one wish.”
The delay of this construction site was famous throughout City A.
Xiang You had teased him, “Then I might never get to see it finished.”
At the time, what she had thought was that the construction site might never be completed.
She had never expected that they would break up first.
On the day she left City A, Xiang You indulged herself for once.
Not only did she book a direct flight, she also took a taxi to the airport.
After looking so bedraggled here for so long, before preparing to welcome another stretch of looking bedraggled, she wanted to enjoy herself for once.
The driver started chatting with her as soon as she got into the car, his enthusiasm hotter than the blazing sun outside.
Xiang You smiled and responded to him one by one, watching the streetscape slip past outside the window the whole way.
Actually, City A was pretty cute.
For the last time, she wanted to remember all of it with her eyes.
“When does your summer vacation end?” the driver suddenly asked.
Xiang You froze for a moment, then shook her head. “I graduated.”
“Oh, you graduated. You’re not planning to stay here?”
“Mm. I’m not planning to stay here.” Xiang You repeated the words.
“Then remember to come back and visit more often. City A welcomes you!” the driver seemed unwilling to let the atmosphere sink for even a moment.
“Sure.” Xiang You smiled and lied.
There was still plenty of time after she arrived at the airport. Xiang You dragged her carry-on luggage along, walking at an unhurried pace.
There were always a lot of people at security, no matter when. She spotted the end of the line and made her way over without rushing.
Footsteps came from behind her, while someone was running ahead of her.
Probably people in a hurry. Thinking back, she and Meng Ou had once been so happy eating at a restaurant in the airport that they had nearly missed the time too...
Why was that name popping into her head again, out of nowhere?
Xiang You shook her head, trying to fling it out of her mind.
Someone ran from behind her and joined the security line, but the sound of footsteps continued behind her.
Coming closer and closer.
Just as she was about to turn around, someone suddenly grabbed her wrist.
A solid, strong, slightly rough hand.
One hand was more than enough to lock around her wrist.
She stopped her neck halfway through turning.
She knew whose hand it was.
“Xiang You.” He called her in a hoarse voice. “Let me go back with you.”
Xiang You stood still for a moment, then lifted her head slightly to look at him.
How strange. They had only been apart for a few days, yet somehow he looked like he had become so much more haggard.
The skin around his eyes was dark, his gaze was weary, and there was even a small patch of stubble left on his chin. Anyone could tell he had shaved in a frantic rush that morning and had not even managed to shave it clean.
Xiang You did not want to see him become like this.
They had only broken up. They were not enemies. Xiang You hoped he would be all right.
“No need.” Xiang You moved her wrist slightly.
Meng Ou seemed to still remember what she had called a “good impression” that day.
The moment she moved, he let go.
But his eyes never left her. His back was slightly hunched, his shoulders slumped, and he looked pitiful.
She remembered the spirited boy from high school who used to stand carelessly in the hallway, and she also remembered the tall, imposing man after he had put on a tailored suit.
In any case, neither of them was the pitiful wretch standing before her now.
Xiang You was different from him. She had never thought of using love to hold anyone hostage.
So she did not want him to go back with her. She knew that was not what he wanted.
She would not compromise for him, and she did not need him to compromise for her.
“Why are you like this?” Xiang You smiled at him, reaching out to touch the stubble he had failed to shave cleanly from his chin. “You missed a spot.”
“Mm...” Meng Ou answered indistinctly, his eyes still fixed firmly on her.
“I have to go through security.” Xiang You pointed at the line, which had grown even longer. “I’ll go ahead.”
“Why don’t you want me to go back with you?” Meng Ou’s tone was accusatory, something rarely heard from him.
“There’s no point talking about that anymore,” Xiang You said flatly.
What was missed was missed.
Meng Ou gradually lowered his eyelids, seemingly trying to hide the redness that kept spreading through his eyes.
So much for leaving a good impression.
He had not even shaved properly, and he looked so utterly dejected. It was a complete disaster.
“Hey, Meng Ou.” Xiang You called him.
Meng Ou slowly raised his head.
The next second, his collar was grabbed and pulled down hard.
Xiang You lifted her head and kissed him.
Throughout this relationship, she had been the passive one most of the time.
Whether it was making their relationship official, or holding hands for the first time, hugging, or even going further, Meng Ou had always been the one to take the initiative.
The only thing she had initiated was the breakup.
And now, she wanted to take the initiative one more time.
Passengers coming and going turned their heads toward them. This kind of thing was not uncommon in an airport, but it certainly was not something you saw often either.
The Xiang You of the past had cared most about these looks.
But now she did not care. She was leaving City A anyway, and she would never come back.
The stubble on his chin pricked her and hurt a little.
Warm tears rolled into the skin pressed tightly against hers.
More than a kiss, it was like nothing more than their lips simply meeting.
Little by little, she lowered the foot she had been standing on tiptoe to reach him.
Then, without saying a word, she pulled her luggage and walked toward security.
Meng Ou watched her retreating figure and knew that it was truly over between them.
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