Chapter Eighteen (Part 2): The Knot in the Heart
The car headed north, driving through the night.
Halfway there, Genzi’s father called to say that everything was fine. His mother was all right, and the village doctor had already set her broken leg, so they should not worry. They took turns driving afterward, and by the time they reached Qian Shulin Village, it was five in the morning.
There were no roads into the village. Genzi parked the minivan at the entrance. Lu Qiang got out, stood beside it, and stretched his muscles. He folded his arms and lit a cigarette, the breath he exhaled seeming as though it could freeze solid.
The biting cold wind was truly northern weather in every sense.
Across from the village stretched a vast, flat expanse, empty and deserted, covered beneath heavy accumulated snow. By spring, this place would be filled with fields of crops.
Lu Qiang walked toward the farmland, immediately unzipped his pants, and relieved himself. He had been holding it in the entire way and could not help shivering. With the cigarette clenched between his teeth, he tilted his head slightly upward, squinting against the glare of the white snow.
A sound of footsteps came from behind. Genzi came over to join in the fun, and the two stood side by side.
Lu Qiang glanced at him from the side, then turned his eyes toward the distance. Genzi sighed. It had been who knew how long since the two of them had stood together like this. For a moment, he was filled with emotion.
He asked with a grin, “Ge, remember? When we were kids, we’d line up and see who could piss the farthest!”
Lu Qiang said, “I remember.”
“You were the best back then. You could get it a meter or two.”
“Still not bad now.” Lu Qiang glanced down at him, the corners of his lips curling into a smile.
Genzi whistled and casually shifted to the side, blocking his view, while also peeking down at Lu Qiang.
Lu Qiang did not care in the slightest and let him look openly. He finished first, zipped up his pants, and went up ahead to wait for him.
Their homes were not far from the village entrance. The two families were neighbors, separated by a fence. Genzi’s family was somewhat better off. They had two tile-roofed houses that had just been renovated last year. Qian Yuanqing had only managed to patch up the main house as best she could, while the west room was still the old earthen-walled house. Yesterday, a roof tile had fallen off the west room. She did not want to trouble anyone and wanted to put it back herself. The ladder was slippery in the snow, and when she lost her footing for a moment, she fell from the roof.
Genzi’s pace was slightly quick at first. But once he was actually back, as he approached his own home, he instead felt a kind of homesickness-induced apprehension.
Seeing that the door to his home was wide open, Genzi turned his head. Without realizing it, he had already put more than ten meters between himself and Lu Qiang. Lu Qiang had his hands in his pockets and followed behind at an unhurried pace. He stopped for a moment, then took a few steps back.
“Ge, hurry up!”
Lu Qiang lowered his eyes and glanced at him, his expression giving nothing away.
Genzi froze for a moment, immediately understanding his hesitation. He did not dare urge him anymore and moved forward with him, one step at a time.
They went to Lu Qiang’s house first. Genzi walked ahead and lifted the heavy cotton curtain covering the window. The passageway was dark and run-down, with only one door beside it, light spilling out from inside.
“Auntie Qian?” Genzi called. “It’s me, Xiao Zhi! I came back to see you.”
Wang Quanzhi. Genzi’s real name.
They waited with bated breath for a moment. A string of footsteps sounded from inside. The door was pushed open, and Genzi’s eyes lit up when he saw his mother.
“Mom! You’re here!”
Wang Mu came up, grabbed him by the ear, and yanked him inside. “You little brat. So you finally remembered to come home, huh?”
Genzi hung his head, grimacing and crying out, “Ow, ow, ow!”
The room was filled with the pungent smell of medicinal ointment. Only a bare incandescent bulb was lit. Opposite the window was a long, old kang bed, with a stove beside it and a thermos sitting on top. The person on the kang lay flat on her back, one leg suspended in a simple sling, the other end tied to a clothesline stretched across the ceiling.
Qian Yuanqing looked over and smiled. “Xiao Zhi’s back?”
Having escaped his mother’s clutches, Genzi half-crouched beside the kang. “Auntie, how did you end up like this? Is it serious? Does it hurt?” He looked toward her leg. Her lower leg had been secured all the way around with specially made wooden splints, tied with red string. It looked crude and makeshift.
Genzi turned around. “Mom, can this be treated? If not, let’s take her to the hospital. My car’s parked at the village entrance.”
Wang Mu cursed him for being ungrateful, saying that after being gone for a few years he did not even know his own surname anymore. When he broke his leg as a child, did he end up limping now?
Genzi curled his lips. Qian Yuanqing patted his hand. “Auntie’s fine. Hurry and go home with your mother.” Then she said to Wang Mu, “Meizi, didn’t his dad keep talking about him yesterday? Go on home. I’m fine here now.”
Genzi paused but did not move. “I didn’t come back by myself.”
Wang Mu quickly cut in. “You got a girlfriend?”
Genzi ignored her and held Qian Yuanqing’s hand. “Qiang-ge is at the door.”
They had not noticed him just now. At this, all of them turned their eyes toward the doorway and saw someone standing there, tall and broad-shouldered, dressed in black from head to toe, almost completely blocking the entrance.
He did not seem to notice anyone’s gaze. His eyes were fixed on the cabinet directly opposite the door.
Genzi distinctly felt the hand in his palm trembling. Then it suddenly pulled away and came to rest against her chest. She closed her eyes. “Get out.”
Her voice was cold, the detachment clearly forced under tight restraint.
Lu Qiang’s body shifted slightly. “Mom.” The word came out stiffly, his throat hoarse from having gone so long without speaking.
Qian Yuanqing’s chest rose and fell unevenly.
He remained where he was. “How badly are you hurt?”
Qian Yuanqing’s eyes flew open. “Don’t call me Mom. I don’t have a bastard of a son like you. You came to the wrong house. Get out!”
Lu Qiang’s eyes darkened, but he still did not move.
Qian Yuanqing’s hands were trembling violently. She grabbed the teacup beside the head of the kang and hurled it at him. The sudden movement pulled at her injured leg, and pain broke out in a cold sweat across her forehead.
Lu Qiang neither moved nor dodged. The water in the cup was scalding hot, and it spilled entirely over half his neck and the front of his clothes.
He gritted his teeth and did not make a sound.
Seeing her so agitated, Wang Mu hurried over to usher Lu Qiang away. She called to Genzi, “Take Qiangzi back to our house first. Have your dad find some burn ointment. Stay there for now. Whatever needs to be said can be said later. Don’t stay here and make things worse.”
Genzi came back to himself, answered, and half-pushed, half-guided him outside.
Wang Mu went over to examine her leg and helped adjust its position. Qian Yuanqing was still emotionally unsettled, her breathing somewhat labored.
Wang Mu sighed, pulled over a chair, and sat beside her. “Dajie, why put yourself through this? He’s your own son. Are you really going to refuse to acknowledge him for the rest of your life?”
“That bastard has nothing to do with me.”
“Don’t say things out of anger. We’re both mothers, I understand. No matter how many wrong things a child does, they’re still the flesh of your heart. And now that he’s finally come back, can you really drive him away?”
Qian Yuanqing’s eyes stung, tears welling up. “Old Lu was literally angered to death by him, and he still has the nerve to come back.”
Wang Mu sighed and shook her head. “My elder brother Lu would surely want you all to be well from beyond the grave.”
***
Lu Qiang went back with Genzi, going straight into the side room of the main house. The layout was different from Qian Yuanqing’s place. There were two rooms on either side of the main room, one for the old couple and one for Genzi. No one lived in the west room. It had become a woodshed and was also used to keep livestock.
Genzi’s father found some burn ointment. Genzi was anxious and reached out to apply it to Lu Qiang’s neck.
Lu Qiang turned his head and took it from him. “I’ll do it myself.”
The two of them had spent half the night running around without eating. Genzi’s father boiled a pot of dumplings for the New Year’s Eve dinner and brought them over, steaming hot, along with a bottle of baijiu and some peanuts. Genzi was starving and quickly ate half the plate. When he looked up, Lu Qiang had done little but smoke and had barely touched the food.
“Ge, doesn’t it suit your taste? I can have Dad make something else.”
“Not hungry. You eat.”
“Then have some liquor to warm yourself up?”
His pinky, the one holding the cigarette, hooked against his forehead. “I’ll be fine after I sleep. I’m just worn out.”
Genzi quickly finished eating. He was not sleepy, so he gave the side room to Lu Qiang and went outside to watch television.
Lu Qiang took off his coat, kicked off his shoes, and lay flat on his back on the kang. His back was warm and toasty as the chill in his body was gradually forced out inch by inch.
He kept his eyes open for a while, staring at the ceiling, his mind completely empty, thinking of nothing. His eyes gradually began to sting. He raised an arm to cover them. He did not pull a blanket over himself, and he did not know when he fell asleep.
He slept until the afternoon. When he opened his eyes, it was already three o’clock.
Lu Qiang sat bolt upright on the kang, rubbed his face, and heard voices occasionally coming from the outer room. The television was replaying the Spring Festival Gala.
His phone had been vibrating incessantly behind him. Lu Qiang sat there for a while before finally turning around and picking it up.
It was Lu Yin calling. She said a couple of things, but he could barely make them out. There was a noisy, chaotic din on her end. Listening carefully, he could also hear announcements from the train station.
His heart jumped. Sensing something, he asked in a low voice, “Where are you?”
After a moment, she said something.
Lu Qiang frowned. “Louder.”
“I said, I’m at Wuqing Railway Station. I just got off the train. Where am I supposed to go next?”
She shouted this time, and every word came through clearly, each one like a hammer pounding hard against his heart.
Lu Qiang swallowed. “Where did you say you are?”
She shouted, “Wuqing.”
“Wuqing in Huaizhou?”
“Yeah!”
Lu Qiang braced one hand against the edge of the kang and squeezed hard, his knuckles turning white. He did not speak for a long while. The other end anxiously asked, “And then? How do I get there?”
Lu Qiang finally reacted. He grabbed his coat and strode out several steps with the phone still in his hand. “Stay there and wait for me.” He suddenly pulled the door open. The few people outside were startled and all turned to look at him. He called to Genzi, “Car keys.”
Genzi froze for a moment, but his body reacted before his mind did, tossing them to him from a distance.
Lu Qiang caught them in one hand. Without offering any explanation, he strode outside.
Lu Yin breathed in. “You need to hurry. I’m freezing to death.” Her voice trembled, carrying a little complaint and a touch of petulance. Just hearing it was enough to make anyone feel sorry for her.
Lu Qiang pressed his lips together. “I’ll be there soon. Stay in the waiting room.”
After saying this, he hung up. Lu Yin could not help hunching her shoulders.
The temperature outside was now twenty degrees below zero. The moment she stepped off the train, a blast of cold air shot from her nostrils straight to the back of her head, and her temples throbbed. She was wearing only a cashmere coat and short boots. How could that possibly withstand the temperatures of the Northeast? When the wind blew past, it pierced straight through her.
It was her first time this far north. That morning, she had checked flights to Huaizhou, then transferred to a train to Wuqing. She had no idea how to get anywhere from there. She had been afraid of bothering him while he was busy before, but now she had no choice but to call him.
Lu Yin put her phone away and turned back into the waiting room.
Wuqing was not a large place. The railway station had a long history and had been renovated by the former Soviet Union. It had yellow walls, green tiles, and only a single story. The staff all wore military-style greatcoats. The heating was inadequate, and after Lu Yin sat there for a while, she could no longer feel her feet.
She sat in a corner of the station, with the door ahead to her right. Not many people took trains from this little station, and only occasionally would someone come in. She stared fixedly in that direction. She did not know how much time had passed when the curtain over the doorway was suddenly thrown open with force, and a tall figure walked in.
Lu Yin’s eyes lit up. She abruptly stood, but her foot had gone numb, and she fell back down.
Lu Qiang seemed to sense her presence as well. His gaze landed straight on her. For that moment, neither of them moved. They simply looked at each other from across the room for a long while.
He seemed to subconsciously touch his coat pocket, but then stopped and strode over.
Lu Yin moved her feet a little and slowly stood up. “That was fast?”
It had only been about half an hour.
Lu Qiang’s face was cold. “Couldn’t you call me?”
“I did.”
“What were you doing before?” His gaze fell on the tip of her nose, red from the cold, and his voice softened. “Let’s go.”
He carried her luggage in one hand and reached for hers with the other. Her hand felt like a block of ice in his.
Lu Yin walked slowly.
He stopped. “Frozen stiff?”
“It’s too cold here.”
Lu Qiang looked at her, released her hand, and bent halfway down. Lu Yin did not understand what he was doing. The next second, everything spun. He caught her behind the knees and hoisted her over his shoulder.
Lu Yin let out a startled cry and slapped his back. “Put me down! So many people are watching.”
“If you’re afraid of people looking, then stay still.”
He paid no attention to what anyone else thought and carried her all the way outside.
The car was parked in the front square. Lu Qiang opened the rear door of the minivan and tossed her inside. He took off his coat and wrapped her up completely in it before going around to the front to start the car and turn on the heater.
Lu Qiang did not hurry to drive away. He sat down beside Lu Yin.
Her cheeks were slightly flushed from the blood rushing to them. She curled up in the corner, covered by his coat, with only her two eyes showing.
Lu Qiang pulled her feet toward him and took off her shoes and socks together. Lu Yin struggled a little. “What are you doing?”
With a tug, he lifted the clothes over his chest and pressed her two little feet against his stomach. His whole body shuddered, and he could not help cursing under his breath. “Fuck, they’re fucking cold.”
Lu Yin bit her lip and drew back a little. “You really don’t have to.”
“How long were you waiting?”
“Not long.” The soles of her feet slowly began to feel the warmth. “I called you as soon as I got off the train.”
“Weren’t you supposed to come back on the fourth?”
Lu Yin’s expression fell. “I actually shouldn’t have gone.”
“Was it bad for you?”
“Not exactly.” Lu Yin could not quite define it. After all, her uncle genuinely cared about her. Her aunt was harsh and mean, but she had never completely fallen out with her. Everyone cared about money, and perhaps she simply needed it too badly.
When all was said and done, that was not home. If she had truly felt even the slightest sense of belonging, she would not be here now.
Not wanting to continue the subject, Lu Yin turned to him and asked, “How is Auntie’s injury?”
Lu Qiang leaned forward a little and simply tucked her hands inside as well. “The doctor saw her. She’ll probably need to rest and recover.”
Lu Yin hummed. Both her hands and feet were against his chest, curled up together in an awkwardly contorted position.
The two of them chatted for a while. The temperature inside the car rose, their hands and feet gradually warmed, and finally they were no longer so cold.
They spent half an hour sitting in the car. The sun was already slanting westward, glowing red as it shone onto the icicles on the windows, making them glitter with strange light.
Lu Yin asked, “When are we going back?”
“Not cold anymore?”
“Mm.”
Lu Qiang took her feet out and squeezed them up and down. They were fair and soft, her nails smooth and translucent with a pink tint. They were barely the size of his palm.
Lu Yin drew back slightly. His hand tightened, and quite naturally he brought her foot to his nose and sniffed it, deliberately teasing her. “They really stink.”
Lu Yin’s face flushed bright red. She twisted his chest with her hand. “Then why are you still smelling them?”
Lu Qiang smelled them again, then pressed his mouth against them, kissing the soles of her feet and her toes. “Because I don’t mind.”
“There’s something wrong with you.”
The two of them started fooling around, tangling together for quite some time. Lu Qiang found her lips and kissed her hard. They stayed locked together for a long time before finally separating, their breathing ragged.
Lu Qiang finally let her go and asked in a low voice, “Why did you come?”
Lu Yin’s lips were bright red. “It’s not like I had anywhere else to go.”
Lu Qiang pinched her flesh.
Lu Yin bared her teeth in pain and changed her answer. “I wanted to see you.”
Lu Qiang looked at her, the words forced out between his clenched teeth.
“You fucking always have a way of making me want to fuck you.”
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