Chapter 5 – afternoon
How had Xiang You guessed it?
Perhaps there was no need to use the word “guess” at all.
Some time ago, six films had been released in theaters in quick succession.
Two patriotic education films, one youth romance, one animated film, one Hollywood superhero film, and one foreign gangster film.
Only the last one had five characters in its title.
Its director was obsessed with filming men, and very good at it, too. Men dressed in immaculate suits, men with pipes between their teeth, men dressed in immaculate suits with pipes between their teeth who, without warning, would beat someone until their head was bloodied.
That was basically the style of all his films.
Xiang You hated watching this kind of movie, finding it bloody, violent, and boring.
By contrast, Meng Ou was very fond of this director.
In the first year they were together, this director happened to have a new film brought in for release.
Other couples went to see desperately romantic love stories together, but he had taken her to watch a “men-fighting movie” instead.
That was what Xiang You called this kind of film.
In her eyes, the formula for these movies was actually more or less the same.
Expensive tailored suits, foreheads left bare above beards, people looking at others either sidelong or cross-eyed.
There would inevitably be a smoky tavern, a bartender who kept his true abilities hidden, and, beneath dim yellow lights, a group of people discussing the lives of another group of people.
Then came the fighting: chases through streets and alleys, hand-to-hand combat indoors, acrobatics on balconies, fists landing with a meaty thud and gunshots pounding like drums.
Yet while the music sent one’s adrenaline soaring, Xiang You was drowsy.
Her eyelids battled each other, her head bobbing up and down, when suddenly a hand reached out beside her head.
With one press of the hand, she naturally leaned against Meng Ou’s shoulder.
A very cliché experience.
If there was anything special about it, perhaps it was simply that on the screen, a man was currently beating another man’s brains out.
Later, she would sometimes wonder: in the dim movie theater, while watching a film he loved, he had somehow still had enough attention left to notice the person beside him.
Did that count as a manifestation of love?
Back then, she was just a young girl with her head full of love hormones. Everything Meng Ou did, she could somehow twist into something romantic.
But that nap, unexpectedly, was a very sound one.
The temperature in the movie theater was just right, the seats were comfortable, and the images in gangster films were always dark, so the lighting was dim in exactly the right way.
Meng Ou’s shoulders were broad, and the fresh scent of soap made her feel at ease.
As for the noisy sound effects and background music, because they appeared so frequently, they gradually became a kind of lullaby.
When Xiang You woke up, another film was playing on the movie screen.
It was a youth film, and the male lead was fighting someone on the school field.
The colors were as saturated as those in a sugary sweet romance, the male lead was thin, narrow-shouldered and slender, his punches soft and feeble, yet somehow he could still send a whole crowd of cannon fodder opponents flying.
Especially after the gangster film that had just played, the fight scene before her eyes was even more unbearable to watch.
But that was not the point.
The point was this.
In the darkness, she saw Meng Ou’s eyes shining brightly. Lowering his voice, he said, “Does this count as sneaking in without a ticket?”
Xiang You jumped.
She had always been a person who followed the rules.
From childhood to adulthood, she had never once run a red light, and she had never casually thrown away a piece of trash. Once, when she could not find a trash can anywhere, she even carried it all the way home.
In the end, her mother scolded her, saying, “Your brain really isn’t working right.” Everyone else brought good things home, while she brought trash home.
So, for someone with as strong a sense of morality as Xiang You, sneaking in without a ticket was a very serious matter.
She tugged anxiously at Meng Ou’s sleeve. “Then let’s leave right now.”
Meng Ou asked her, “You don’t want to watch?”
“No.” Xiang You shook her head vigorously.
The moment she thought about the fact that she was now in the theater without a ticket, she felt as though she were sitting on pins and needles.
“Watch for a while. We’ve already watched half an hour.” Meng Ou stretched out his leg.
He was sitting on the outside. If he deliberately refused to move, Xiang You could not get out either.
“I don’t want to watch. Let’s leave, hurry.” Xiang You was almost crying.
She could even imagine what it would be like if she were caught sneaking in without a ticket.
She would be publicly condemned, perhaps even taken to the police station. Maybe her teacher and parents would be notified, too.
How terrifying. At that moment, she felt as though her entire world were about to collapse.
Yet Meng Ou sat there firmly, not forgetting to make fun of the movie character’s hairstyle. “If you dared to get a perm like that at school, Old Zhang would’ve plucked you bald long ago.”
Old Zhang was the head of discipline for their grade, and he was particularly strict about school conduct.
“Get up and leave!” Xiang You anxiously pushed at him.
There were not many people in the movie theater, and most of them were couples.
The commotion they were making was a little loud, so those couples one after another turned their heads toward them.
For Xiang You, who cared about public etiquette, one should not disturb others while watching a movie.
But now she had not only sneaked in without a ticket, she was also disturbing other people’s movie.
She became so desperate that tears kept falling.
Seeing her cry, Meng Ou finally panicked.
He pulled two tickets from his pocket. He had secretly gone out to buy them while she was asleep.
He waved the tickets in front of her and lowered his voice. “I was only joking with you.”
The most hateful joke imaginable.
Xiang You said nothing. She clenched her teeth hard, got to her feet, and struggled toward the exit.
Meng Ou pulled his leg back to let her through, then hurried after her and caught her by the wrist.
Xiang You forced herself not to lose her temper. It was not until she had come down the stairs and stopped in an empty corner where there was no one around that she halted.
Beyond the door was a corridor filled with people coming and going, so she had to make herself clear here.
“Meng Ou, I hate you. That joke wasn’t funny at all.” Xiang You spoke each word distinctly. “I don’t want to be with you anymore.”
At that time, they had been officially together for less than a week.
After saying that, Xiang You turned her head and was about to leave.
Meng Ou panicked and hurriedly grabbed her hand to apologize.
Xiang You paid no attention to him, forcefully shaking her hand.
He was gripping her so tightly that soon a red ring had formed around her wrist.
Later, she stopped struggling.
She lowered her head and stared fixedly at her reddened wrist, at the other hand clamped around it, which had still not loosened.
“Meng Ou, you’re just like the people in those movies. Violent and vulgar, full of yourself, and you don’t care about other people’s feelings.”
A girl who had not yet come of age, speaking the harshest accusations of her life.
Those hands slowly loosened in response.
They fell downward with gravity, and, driven by some unknown force, their owner also slumped forward dejectedly.
“Xiang You, I was wrong.” Meng Ou’s voice was hoarse. “I won’t joke around with you like that anymore.”
Xiang You did not listen. She turned her head and walked out the door.
Meng Ou did not follow her.
And then they broke up.
Xiang You had once recorded this breakup on her phone, but because the breakup had been so brief, she deleted it after they got back together.
Perhaps it was not only one record she wanted to erase.
How did they get back together afterward?
Perhaps she simply could not stand the way Meng Ou spent an entire week looking at her with the expression of an abandoned puppy, gazing at her so pitifully.
Those deep, dark eyes seemed to have been laced with poison, making it difficult to pull oneself away.
He watched her during class, and he watched her after class, too.
When there were people around, he would only look at her. When there was no one around, he would come closer and call her name in a pitiful little voice.
Besides that, there was one self-criticism letter every day, each one at least a thousand characters long.
By the end, he had nearly examined and criticized every last atom in his body.
Xiang You did not throw those self-criticism letters away until she was in her third relationship.
When she began regretting throwing them away before she had even broken up with her third boyfriend, she had already foreseen how things would eventually end between her and Meng Ou.
Fortunately, in the end, the third one owed her a little more.
The pain of being indebted to someone is nowhere near as deep as the guilt of being the one who owes another person.
Sometimes she hated herself for having this kind of mentality, too.
Xiang You was someone whose heart softened easily, so later, she forgave Meng Ou.
Because once she had calmed down and looked back, she realized that she had not actually sneaked into the theater without a ticket.
The rule she had always followed had not been broken. As for the unease and collapse she had felt in that moment, it seemed to have gradually faded from memory.
Or perhaps Meng Ou’s apology had canceled it out.
After they got back together, Meng Ou never took her to see a movie again.
Likewise, all their jokes remained nothing more than teasing spoken aloud.
Although sometimes he would still make Xiang You so angry that she cried, as long as that line in her heart was not crossed, she would not remember those tears for very long.
Until their sophomore year, when another new film by that director was brought in for release, and Xiang You took the initiative to suggest, “Do you want to go see it together?”
“Aren’t you the one who doesn’t like watching these kinds of movies?” Meng Ou asked.
Actually, that was not what truly bothered him.
Xiang You knew that, too, but neither of them pointed it out.
“It’s not that bad. Let’s go see it. I heard the reviews are pretty good.” Xiang You said.
Several years later, they were sitting in a movie theater together again.
It was the same familiar style. As Xiang You watched, her eyelids began fighting each other again.
And then another hand came down on her head.
The moment those five fingers rested against her hair, her heart softened a little.
She remembered the girl she had once been.
He could be watching a movie he loved and still notice me. Does he love me that much?
She no longer spent every day thinking about how much the other person loved her.
But Meng Ou’s shoulder really was still very comfortable to lean on.
The movie went smoothly. When the ending song began to play, Meng Ou woke her up.
Xiang You rubbed her sleepy eyes, sat up straight, and stayed with him through the final credits, waiting until they reached a post-credits scene that lasted less than five seconds.
It was short, but if there was one, then it was worth it.
Perhaps the most desolate experience was watching ten minutes of credits, seeing the entire theater empty out, seeing the cleaning auntie ask you for the third time whether you were leaving, only to still not get a post-credits scene.
After the movie, the two of them had a meal together, then each returned to their respective schools.
After such a pleasant movie experience, the two of them went on to make plans to watch many more together.
Some were movies Meng Ou liked, some were movies Xiang You liked, and some were movies they both loved.
Little by little, they both forgot about the episode during their first movie together, the one that had once brought them to the point of breaking up.
Some time ago, after finishing a work assignment, Xiang You was getting ready to go to the cinema and relax. She opened a movie review website and immediately saw that director.
Actually, there were many other films that appealed to her more.
But for some reason, in that moment, it was the only one she could see, and before she knew it, her finger had moved toward it.
The plot was somewhat formulaic, and its score was very consistently solid. This was, after all, a relatively niche film, and most of the people watching it were fans of the director.
Xiang You scrolled through the screen, reading one review after another. A thought kept rising to the surface, only for her to ruthlessly press it back down.
Would there be a review from Meng Ou among these?
Actually, she really had not thought of him in a very long time.
But perhaps somewhere in her mind, there was a place that held the things she was unwilling to remember yet could never completely forget.
They did not bother her in everyday life. They would only suddenly poke her once at certain moments.
Like that time in elementary school when she went to school wearing slippers from home, or that time she misheard a name while walking down the street and turned her head, or the more than six years she had known Meng Ou.
Was this movie really that good?
Xiang You closed the movie review website and opened the ticketing website, wanting to take a look.
It had nothing to do with anyone. She simply wanted to watch a movie and relax, and this one happened to have pretty good reviews.
Really.
When she opened the cinema page, Xiang You’s hand trembled slightly, as though she were a thief. She went through all the movies currently showing but could not find it.
She patiently searched again from the beginning, but still found nothing.
In the end, she switched back to the movie review website and saw the listed end-of-screening date.
It had been the day before.
She had missed it by exactly one day.
Just like those 1,499 days she had spent with Meng Ou. One more day, and it would have been complete.
For some reason, Xiang You let out a sigh of relief.
She put down her phone and smiled, quite contentedly.
Perhaps she simply could not bear the thought of sitting in a theater for two hours, being slowly tortured every second by a movie that had Meng Ou’s name written all over it.
But how was it that, even though she had clearly managed to avoid that one ordeal, she still had not managed to escape the one before her now?
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