Chapter Eight: The Choice
For several weeks in a row, she had no close contact with that man. Every time she passed by the entrance, her heart would be in turmoil, with nowhere to settle. When she didn't see him, she felt both lucky and relieved; when she did, her heart pounded like a drum, and she would desperately pretend not to notice him, looking calm on the surface and acting as though there were nothing else in the world worth seeing.
That day, he had gotten her number, yet no unfamiliar calls had ever come, nor had he sent any harassing messages. Days passed one after another. Aside from running into each other a few times now and then, it seemed as though nothing had changed.
Lu Qiang didn't deliberately make things difficult for her either, as though he really were giving her time to think it over. In front of outsiders, he would smile and offer a polite greeting, perfectly proper and friendly. Occasionally, when she stole a glance at him, she would always meet that intrusive gaze, carrying a hint of a wicked smile and a hint of certainty, as though she had always been under his control and had never truly escaped him.
Lu Yin would glare fiercely at him, then turn and give him her back. At some point, her fear of him had disappeared. She simply felt that this man's face was detestable, so infuriating that her teeth itched.
But whatever her feelings toward him were, there was no denying that he had thrown her life into disarray, like a stye that had suddenly appeared in her life. It couldn't be gotten rid of anytime soon. She wanted to ignore it, yet it kept drifting into her line of sight.
***
One Friday evening, after coming home from work, Lu Yin suddenly felt like going to the market to buy groceries. She wanted to make herself a proper meal.
She was carrying bags of all sizes on her way home when she ran into an acquaintance in front of a restaurant outside her residential compound. With practically a single glance, she recognized him. That figure was far too familiar, so familiar that she didn't need to deliberately search for him to know who it was.
Lu Yin quickly turned around and took half a step. It was already too late.
A voice came from behind her. “Yinyin?”
Lu Yin stopped. At that moment, her brows drew tightly together, and instinctively she hurried forward a few steps. The voice followed after her. “Lu Yin! Yinyin?”
With her back turned, she didn't move. Before long, the sound of footsteps drew closer and closer. He came around to stand in front of her, the two of them a meter apart. Lu Yin lowered her head, gripping the bags tightly in her hands without looking at him.
“It really is you.” There was unmistakable surprise in his voice. After a pause, it slowly turned cautious and tentative. “I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me, that I'd mistaken you for someone else.”
Lu Yin lowered her eyes. By chance, she could see the tips of his shoes. The leather shoes that had once been black and gleaming were now covered in dust. Her lashes lifted slightly. The hem of his shirt hung outside his suit trousers, the corners wrinkled like a rag. She had never seen him looking so disheveled and unkempt.
At last, she met his eyes and smiled. She knew the smile probably wasn't very pretty.
Seeing her smile, Liu Zecheng also stretched his lips into a grin and looked at the things in her hands. “You went grocery shopping?”
Lu Yin gave a quiet “Mm,” with nothing more to say.
Liu Zecheng glanced at her hands a few more times. The transparent plastic bags made everything plain to see. There were onions, spare ribs, broccoli, and two bottles of baijiu, but no catfish and no celery.
His eyes dimmed, and he gave a bitter smile. “Are you having guests over?”
“No,” Lu Yin said. “I'm eating by myself.”
He paused, as if letting out a sigh. “That's true. Cooking for yourself is the healthiest.”
After he said this, an eerie silence fell for several seconds. Liu Zecheng awkwardly cleared his throat and wanted to raise a hand to cover it, but realizing both hands were full, he lowered it halfway.
Only then did Lu Yin notice his hands. In one was a large bag of snacks and daily necessities; in the other were three packs of diapers and some takeaway food. A woman's handbag was slung diagonally across his shoulder. An uncontrollable pang of pain went through her heart. Lu Yin admitted that even now, she still couldn't manage to feel nothing.
She turned the toes of her shoes in another direction, wanting to leave, but Liu Zecheng suddenly became unusually talkative. “I had catfish today. It made me think of the place by our front door…” Realizing something was wrong, he hurriedly corrected himself. “The fish here by the entrance is pretty good. I had some free time today, so I came over to eat…”
His voice was indistinct, carrying a faint, almost imperceptible longing and regret. His eyes greedily lingered on her face, unwilling to move away.
A few seconds later, Liu Zecheng edged forward by a tiny amount and finally asked, “Yinyin, are you doing all right?”
There was sympathy in his voice, and apology in his dim eyes as well.
Lu Yin gave a faint smile. “Just like you can see. I go to work, make money, do housework, and occasionally cook myself something good as a treat.” She considered his feelings, then asked, “How does it feel to be a father?”
Liu Zecheng was caught off guard, hearing the mockery in her words. The peaceful life he had once so ruthlessly squandered was now a luxury. After a moment of silence, he said quietly, “Not yet. There's still a month to go.”
Lu Yin's fingernails dug through the thin plastic bag. “Then congratulations in advance.”
Liu Zecheng lowered his head and said with difficulty, “Thank you.”
The moment the words left his mouth, someone behind him called out, “Honey?”
Liu Zecheng jolted and quickly answered. Without even having time to say goodbye, he ran toward the restaurant entrance.
A woman stood at the entrance, her belly enormous as a pot, one hand supporting her lower back as she walked out of the restaurant.
She pouted, “Honey, what are you doing?”
“Waiting for you, of course.” He extended his arm toward the steps for her to hold onto as she came down.
The woman complained, “What a lousy place! The bathroom was filthy. I'm never coming here again.”
Liu Zecheng kept his head down and said nothing. He put an arm around her waist, and the two of them slowly walked away in opposite direction from where Lu Yin stood.
The woman suddenly asked, “I saw you talking to someone just now, but I couldn't see clearly. Who was that?”
Liu Zecheng was startled. He lowered his eyes. “No one. Just a coworker.”
The woman said, “Oh,” and didn't ask any further, instead continuing to chatter. “My feet are sore. Massage them for me when we get home. I should wash my hair too… Oh, right, you didn't buy me shampoo…”
Liu Zecheng answered her as they walked. Then, as though casually, he glanced back. The place where Lu Yin had been standing was completely empty. There was no sign of her anywhere.
***
Lu Yin walked a little faster and arrived home covered in sweat. After taking a shower, she went into the kitchen to prepare dinner.
Her actions were completely normal, no different from usual.
She boiled water, blanched the spare ribs, rinsed away the blood, then coated them in dry starch and fried them in oil until golden brown. She cleaned the broccoli, smashed the garlic cloves and chopped them into small pieces. When the oil in the pan was about seventy percent hot, she tossed them in and stir-fried them quickly…
Her movements were practiced and efficient. The two dishes were soon brought to the table, and she poured herself another half a glass of wine, then sat down, but for a long while did not pick up her chopsticks. It felt too monotonous, so she took half a packet of shrimp and some green peppers from the refrigerator. She washed the shrimp and drained them, then cut the green peppers into small pieces.
After placing them in separate dishes, she began preparing the onion. She peeled off the outer skin and cut it in half horizontally with a knife. Within seconds, a sharp, pungent smell filled the air. Her eyes stung, and tears spilled uncontrollably from her tear ducts. She sniffed, raised a hand to wipe them away, then made another cut, and the water in her eyes came rushing out even more fiercely than before.
One ingredient after another went into the pan, but her eyes still hurt so badly she could barely keep them open. Lu Yin put down the spatula, turned on the water valve, bent over, and leaned in to rinse them with water.
She thought of that time, not long after the two of them had moved in together. Their little home, built together, had been full of happiness. Everything they did had felt romantic. Back then, Lu Yin still didn't know how to cook. Yam peel had gotten onto her skin, making it both itchy and painful. The two of them had squeezed together in the kitchen, barely big enough to fit a palm, while Liu Zecheng held her hand, applied aged vinegar to it, and gently blew on it…
Once she thought of it, her mind drifted far away. Water poured from the valve in a steady column, and the food in the wok sizzled. She didn't know how much time had passed before the smell of something burning finally brought her back to her senses. Lu Yin startled and abruptly broke off the valve. Before she could turn off the gas, a pressurized stream of water shot toward her.
In her panic, Lu Yin snapped the water valve off.
In an instant, Lu Yin was soaked from head to toe. Her white tank top clung to her skin, water splashed everywhere, and it was raining throughout the entire kitchen.
Lu Yin was stunned for a moment. When she came to her senses, she hurriedly used her hand to plug the water valve. It was an old residence, the equipment worn and outdated. The water valve had gone without maintenance for years and was already extremely fragile. She had always been careful whenever she used it, but she hadn't expected to accidentally break it off today.
Lu Yin ran back to the living room and called the security office. She clearly remembered seeing Old Li when she came home just now. The last time the toilet had overflowed, he had been the one to fix it.
The call was answered quickly. She said anxiously, “Master Li, please come take a look. The water valve in my apartment broke again, and water is gushing out.”
There was a pause on the other end. “Do you have any tools at home?”
“No.” She froze for a moment. “…Where's Master Li?”
The other person said, “Master Li had something to take care of, so he switched shifts with me. There's only one Master Lu here.”
Lu Yin was so anxious she stamped her feet and turned her eyes toward the kitchen.
Lu Qiang asked, “Do you need me?”
Lu Yin bit her lip. “…Yes.”
He asked again, “Where exactly did it break?”
She tried to describe it. “In the kitchen. The water valve… the outlet…”
Lu Qiang gave a quiet “Mm.”
Lu Yin was completely flustered. “What am I supposed to do now?”
The person on the other end remained utterly calm. His voice was low and husky, accompanied by steady breathing. “Stay there. Wait for me.”
After hanging up, Lu Yin's heart inexplicably settled down. She wiped the water from her face, then ran back to the kitchen to plug the valve again.
Less than five minutes later, Lu Qiang arrived, and Lu Yin ran to open the door for him.
The moment the door opened, his nostrils flared and his brows furrowed. Lu Yin stood in front of him looking disheveled and ridiculous. He swept his gaze from top to bottom, his eyes landing on her chest before darkening. He immediately looked back at her face.
Lu Qiang walked inside. “Were you crying?”
Lu Yin sniffed. “No.”
He teased her. “Then did the water make you cry?”
This time, Lu Yin ignored him.
This was the second time Lu Qiang had come to her home. Before, he had only ever stood in the hallway and had no idea what the inside looked like.
The windows were tightly shut, and the air conditioner was running. The not-so-large space was filled with a strange smell.
He opened all the windows, then went into the kitchen and turned off the gas valve.
Lu Yin followed closely behind him, urging him anxiously, “What are you doing? Can you hurry up?”
It was still raining inside the kitchen. Lu Qiang took off his jacket, revealing a black fitted T-shirt underneath, which was instantly drenched by the water.
He spared her a glance. “What kind of nose do you have? There's a strange smell. Can't you smell it?”
Lu Yin froze, only then remembering that she had originally been about to turn off the gas when the pipe burst and the water put out the flame, so she had forgotten to shut it off.
A wave of lingering fear washed over her. Lu Yin took a few steps forward, intending to turn on the range hood.
Before she could touch it, he barked at her, and she immediately withdrew her hand.
Lu Qiang said, “Don't you have any common sense? Turning on the range hood can create a spark, which could easily cause an explosion.” He picked up two towels and folded them several times. Seeing that her eyes were red, his tone softened. “It's probably fine. In a situation like this, usually it's because a large amount of gas has leaked… But it's still better to be careful.”
Lu Yin pressed her lips together and stood silently by the doorway.
Lu Qiang smiled, withdrew his gaze, and wrapped the towels around the water pipe, tying them tightly with a rope. Once the flow was buffered, the water column shooting toward the ceiling immediately disappeared, and the water ran along the towels into the sink.
Lu Yin's eyes widened. Only then did she remember that this was also a way to fix it.
Lu Qiang snorted. “All you know how to do is cry. Is crying going to help?”
“I wasn't crying,” Lu Yin said.
Lu Qiang looked closely at her. “Next time something happens, use your head and think about it. Don't panic.”
“You were the one who told me to wait,” she muttered in protest.
“I told you to wait, so you just wait?”
Lu Yin: “…”
“Heh. So you know how to listen now.” He snorted. “I also told you to get together with me! How come you don't listen to that?”
Lu Yin opened her mouth, wanting to retort with a few words, but for some reason the atmosphere felt rather strange now, so she said nothing.
Lu Qiang opened his toolbox and took out pliers, a wrench, a metal clamp, and a brand-new water valve. He muttered, “You're glaring at me all day long. Have your eyes gone crooked from it? You're only getting away with it because I like you and can't be bothered to hold it against you.” He paused, his voice becoming much quieter. “If it were someone else, with that temper of yours, I'd gouge his eyeballs out.”
He half-crouched, wrapping tape around the metal clamp as he muttered to himself, not knowing whether she had heard him. From the corner of his eye, he saw a pair of slender calves standing straight half a meter away. Several rounded toes, tinged with a faint pink, obediently rested inside a pair of slippers.
His hands slowed. He lifted his head, his eyes traveling upward. The woman was glistening with water from head to toe, wearing a pair of loose, knee-length lounge pants and a white tank top clinging tightly to her body, revealing every curve. Her hair was loosely tied at the back of her head, with a few strands clinging to her cheeks.
Lu Qiang remembered that rainy day, the world outside the car window hazy and indistinct, when she had suddenly appeared. From that moment on, a touch of sorrowful white had changed the world before his eyes.
It was also because of her that he came to understand what made her different from other women.
Lu Yin felt increasingly uncomfortable under his stare and instinctively took a step back. “What are you looking at?”
There was a meaningful look in Lu Qiang's eyes as he asked, “Blue?”
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