Chapter 8 – for
They confirmed their relationship during their senior year of high school.
At such a critical juncture, it really was not a suitable time to date.
But later, Meng Ou said that back then, day or night, in class or out of class, his head was filled with nothing but her. If he did not say what was in his heart, he could not settle down.
Xiang You retorted, “Then didn’t you make me unable to settle down either?”
Meng Ou fell silent.
He said nothing, and Xiang You said nothing either.
After a while, Meng Ou looked at her pitifully. “So you didn’t like me in the first place?”
Again? Again?
Xiang You pushed his face away.
She really could not withstand that look.
If she said she did not like him, of course that was not true.
She seemed to have gradually grown accustomed to having this annoying pest by her side. She liked studying with him, liked eating with him, and also liked bickering with him...
The kind where, if she could not win with words, she would twist his arm.
Verbal and physical force, she had to win at least one of them, right?
But she had never associated any of this with liking him in that way.
Because before this, she had already gone through one misunderstanding.
That was back in junior high, in her third year.
Why were all these things happening at such critical times?
Back then, she also had a male classmate she got along very well with. The two of them played around, fooled around, and studied together.
To boys and girls of that age, love was something mysterious and thrilling.
Every day, Xiang You's friend would share her own love stories with her. The twists and turns of them were almost more complicated than the classic romances of The Butterfly Lovers, The Story of Meng Jiangnü, and the like.
After hearing so much, even the way Xiang You looked at that male classmate gradually began to feel a little off.
At the time, she thought it was love, but in reality, she was merely curious.
Coincidentally, that male classmate was the same.
Equally curious.
Later, he confessed his feelings to her, and the two of them naturally got together.
After confirming their relationship, Xiang You's head was a little muddled.
So this counted as dating? It seemed like nothing had changed from before.
In those idol dramas, the two people who finally ended up together seemed to transform overnight, their lives undergoing earth-shattering changes because of love.
But in reality, she was still a girl worrying over her homework.
And her so-called boyfriend still came looking for her every day, as reliably as clockwork, to copy her homework.
Love letters, bringing breakfast, carrying someone on the back of a bicycle, all those classic scenes from school dramas, none of them happened...
•
Although two or three years later, Meng Ou would make all of them happen for her.
Xiang You found it puzzling, but she was too embarrassed to say anything.
There were actually some changes, such as secretly holding hands and secretly hugging.
But when they held hands, she did not blush or feel her heart race. And when they hugged, because the other person had only recently finished the physical fitness test, the smell nearly made her unable to breathe.
Was this what dating was? Why was it not interesting at all?
Xiang You thought about it day and night and still could not figure it out.
The reason for the breakup was also incredibly sudden.
One day, she said a few more words to another male classmate. The other person suddenly sought her out and picked a fight with her, and then they broke up.
After the breakup, she sat blankly in her seat.
Just as bewildered as she had been when they confirmed their relationship.
Being together, she had not been particularly happy. Breaking up, she did not seem particularly heartbroken either.
Was love really such a boring thing? And yet, nearly half the works in the world were actually about this boring thing.
Then, two or three days after the breakup, the other person suddenly came looking for her again.
He said he had been jealous that day. He said he had deliberately caused the breakup because he wanted Xiang You to apologize to him and try to win him back.
But when he saw that she had no intention of apologizing, he decided to forgive her and continue being with her.
Xiang You was stunned.
She felt even more strongly that this whole thing was boring.
So in the end, they did not get back together.
Even though the other person cried and begged her, at one point even intending to kneel before her.
Xiang You was so frightened that she nearly wanted to transfer to another class.
Much later, Xiang You thought that perhaps at that age, boys and girls just beginning to discover love were prone to making such things seem very, very important.
Including those television dramas, where people so often loved each other to the point of life and death. After watching enough of them, you inevitably began to think you were a protagonist too.
Back then, she had heard all kinds of rumors, about people hurting themselves because of love, dropping out of school, even dying for love. They could take what adults saw as child's play and turn it into something earth-shattering.
And Xiang You seemed to be a little slower on the uptake than ordinary people.
So when it came to this muddle-headed first love, what she felt was simply boredom.
But if you never tried it once, who would know what it tasted like?
So she did not regret it, and she was also very grateful that her first love had accompanied her in putting on a little performance.
The only one to blame was her poor acting. In the end, she had failed to keep up with his performance.
Now that she already knew what it tasted like, she had no desire to try it a second time.
Later, a few other boys confessed to her as well.
Some of them were good-looking, some had wonderful personalities, some had excellent grades. In short, Xiang You could not find a reason to reject them.
If she absolutely had to give one, perhaps the problem was that love itself was simply too boring.
It was not their fault.
She was carrying this very thought when she met Meng Ou.
From childhood to adulthood, she had had plenty of friends, both boys and girls. So at first, Meng Ou was not actually anything special to her.
At most, he was a little better-looking and a little more glib.
And she liked being with him a little more—
This was not romantic love. Absolutely not.
Even later, when, in that deserted gymnasium, Meng Ou suddenly pulled her into his arms.
Even when her heart beat faster than it ever had before, her face growing so hot that she thought she had developed a fever in an instant.
Even when she did not dare look into his eyes the next day.
Even when that scene later replayed countless times in her mind.
In the pitch-black darkness, his chest was warm, his heartbeat strong and steady.
There had also been rumors that Meng Ou liked her, and she had laughed it off as a joke and shared them with him.
Meng Ou had laughed too, saying, “Can’t believe you’re this narcissistic.”
Xiang You had protested that those were things other people had said. She was only repeating them.
“Then why has no one ever spread rumors that you like me?” Meng Ou moved closer to her, his eyes gleaming mischievously. “You made it up on purpose, didn’t you?”
“Made up your big head!” Xiang You slapped his head away. “You narcissistic freak.”
“I’m not narcissistic.” Meng Ou relaxed, leaning against the rooftop railing. “But I really do like you.”
“They said it was something they made up... huh?”
Xiang You froze.
It seemed she had heard something she was not supposed to hear.
Had he accidentally blurted out what was in his heart? Or had he simply slipped up?
Should she pretend she had not heard?
How was she supposed to pretend?
Xiang You thought about it for a moment, then ran away.
As she ran, she called out, “I just remembered I haven’t corrected my weekly test paper yet!”
As a result, Meng Ou reached out and hauled her right back.
He said, “Xiang You, let’s talk.”
At the end, his voice dropped a little, and he added, “Okay?”
Xiang You felt that something was wrong with him.
He had actually called her by her full name, without arbitrarily adding anything to it.
“What are we talking about?” Xiang You asked timidly.
Seeing that she had no intention of running anymore, Meng Ou let go of her.
He looked at her, then lowered his head and stared at the tips of his shoes.
Two seconds later, he raised his head and looked at her again.
Xiang You found his stare a little baffling and touched her face.
“Is there something dirty on my face?” she asked.
“No. You’re very pretty.”
It seemed like an answer, just one that had gone slightly off-topic.
To be praised by a narcissistic freak like Meng Ou was truly a rare occasion.
After all, he spent all day teasing her for not being as tall as him, for having less thick eyebrows than him, for having a lower nose than him, and for having shorter fingers than him.
Was he not Narcissus reincarnated or something?
Later, one day, Xiang You was so angry that she called him a “big dumbass with long arms and legs, a high nose, and thick eyebrows.”
She cursed him until her face was red and her neck was flushed, yet Meng Ou was not annoyed at all.
He raised an eyebrow. “Then are you a little dwarf with tiny hands and feet, a flat nose, and no eyebrows?”
“Go die!”
The little dwarf angrily kicked at him, then ran away.
But she had barely made it two steps before the big dumbass caught up with her.
Xiang You could not outrun him, so she stood there huffily, waiting for him to apologize.
Instead, all she got was, “I can’t die. If I die, there’ll be one less handsome guy in the world.”
Annoying narcissistic freak!
And now, this narcissistic freak suddenly looked very unconfident.
The corners of his mouth twitched, as though he wanted to force out a smile, but he repeatedly failed.
In the end, he stopped trying to smile and said to Xiang You with a straight face, “I really do like you. I’m not joking.
“I don’t even know when it started. Anyway, it’s been a very, very long time.”
“I’ve never confessed to anyone before, and I don’t know how to say it properly. I was actually planning to tell you in a couple of days. I was even thinking maybe I should order a bouquet of flowers or something, but just now I got carried away and...”
“I had memorized so many sweet things to say, but now I can’t remember a single one. All I know is one sentence. I like you. I really, really like you.”
Xiang You's mind was even more muddled.
This confession, to be completely honest... was pretty ordinary. It was not particularly romantic either.
Although she was not someone who pursued that sort of thing, why was it that she had rejected all those other people, yet was willing to say yes to him?
What was better about him than those people, enough to make her willing to try this boring thing one more time?
Seeing that she still had not answered, Meng Ou dejectedly slumped his shoulders.
“Go back and correct your paper... Oh, right. I got a perfect score this time. If there’s anything you don’t know, my paper is on my desk.”
It was not his usual boastful tone. Instead, it sounded as though he genuinely wanted to help her.
Xiang You looked at him and held out both arms.
“Meng Ou, can we hug?”
She wanted to confirm what had caused her heartbeat that day, after all.
This time, it was Meng Ou's turn to freeze.
Seeing that he did not react, Xiang You was just about to lower her arms when she suddenly saw a dark figure rushing toward her.
As though worried that Xiang You might run away again, Meng Ou practically crashed into her.
He knocked Xiang You stumbling backward, but his arms were firmly locked around her waist, keeping her from falling even as they swayed unsteadily.
Meng Ou held her very, very tightly, so tightly that she had a little trouble breathing.
Her face began to flush and her heart began to race again.
Was this a side effect of suffocation?
Xiang You raised a hand and pushed at him. “Loosen up a little.”
Meng Ou obediently loosened his hold.
It was just that he always had trouble controlling the degree of it. He loosened his arms too much, leaving several centimeters of space between them.
And Xiang You stared blankly at the edge of his crew-neck T-shirt, at the neat stitching along the hem, and at the half of his collarbone that was exposed, rising and falling beneath the fabric.
Her face grew even hotter, and her heart beat even faster.
She seemed to have an answer now, faintly.
Xiang You reached out, carefully and earnestly wrapped her arms around his waist, then tipped her head up slightly and rested her chin against the collarbone where her gaze had just lingered.
“I like you too.”
No comments:
Post a Comment