Extra 4. Summer 2015
In mid-August, the day he met Qiu Sicheng, when Xu Cheng got off work, it was pouring again. Rain smeared across the windshield, dense like an airtight curtain of glue.
He parked beneath the apartment building, held up an umbrella, and went inside. The cuffs of his pants were completely soaked, clinging to his calves.
Up to the third floor, he pushed the door open. The room was quiet, warm yellow light filling it, reflecting the torrential rain outside.
Jiang Xi was in the small kitchen. Water was boiling on the stove. On the counter lay freshly washed ginger, garlic, scallions, and eggs, along with a small stack of beef, wood ear mushrooms, and baby greens.
Jiang Xi lowered her head, chopping the aromatics. Garlic crushed, scallions cut into short sections, wood ear sliced into shreds.
During this period, because of health reasons, Xu Cheng was no longer working on the front lines. A misfortune turned into a blessing, he could often get off work on time and run into the lived-in warmth of home.
He leaned against the doorframe, watching her for a long while. It was moments like this, scenes like this, that could pull him out of the suffocating darkness and grime of the investigation team’s work.
Just watching her, his heart became quiet.
The heavy rain outside blotted out the sky, but it could not compare to the mist rising in the kitchen, her figure soft within it.
He walked over. “Jiangzhou rice noodles tonight?”
“Mm. Tiantian’s school went to a performance in the neighboring city, won’t be back until tomorrow. Just the two of us, I felt like eating rice noodles. Do you want some?”
“Of course.” Xu Cheng said, reaching to tear the greens.
Jiang Xi said, “You’ve been tired all day. Go rest on the sofa for a bit.”
“Will you go rest?” Xu Cheng asked.
Jiang Xi: “Huh?”
“If you go, I’ll go.”
“….” Jiang Xi said nothing more.
Xu Cheng quickly washed his hands, rolled up his sleeves. Hot oil into the pan, eggs and shredded beef seared until half-cooked, then the aromatics and vegetables added and stir-fried. Cold water poured in, left to simmer.
Jiang Xi took out a pack of rice noodles from the fridge, grabbed a large handful. “This much?”
Xu Cheng: “Mm…”
She took out a jar of mushroom beef sauce, set out chopsticks and bowls, waiting for the pot to come to a boil.
Xu Cheng wrapped an arm around her waist, gave a light pull, holding her from behind. He lowered his head, his chin resting by her temple, holding her as they swayed slowly.
Jiang Xi was completely enveloped by him, swaying back and forth like a child.
The rich aroma of the rice noodle broth quickly spread. She stepped forward to take the pot off the heat, and he shifted with her, pressed close.
As long as he was home, he always had to stick to her. Like a tailing shadow, like glue that would not come off.
When he worked at the table, he had to pull her over to sit at the same table to draw, even specially buying a pair of office chairs for it. If she got tired of drawing and went to tidy up, he would also take a break midway to wipe the table or mop the floor. Summer in Yucheng was like a furnace, stiflingly hot. Jiang Xi feared the heat, disliked sweat clinging to her body, always going to rinse off. Xu Cheng would have to follow along and rinse too.
Even though both their bodies were still recovering, at night they could never quite resist being close and affectionate. Careful on one hand, deeply immersed on the other.
During this time, Xu Cheng, in love, was always gentle and soft.
After that incident, he had become especially protective of his life, strictly following the doctor’s orders to recover. And especially protective of hers. It was as if before, he could charge forward without fear, but now there was more reluctance, more attachment. The doctor said his concussion was serious, that he had to pay attention to rest. So he truly did.
Because of that, there was, instead, more communication between them.
Xu Cheng really liked it when she called his name during their closeness, and liked even more when she expressed herself plainly and naively, like she had in her younger days.
But Jiang Xi now was not like before. She was more easily shy.
He wanted her to be like before. Just thinking of it made his heart itch. So:
“Xi Xi, why aren’t you like before?”
“Like before what?”
He whispered a few words into her ear.
Jiang Xi’s ears flushed instantly red, and she said in a rush, “Back then I didn’t understand! I was just talking nonsense.”
“Then keep talking nonsense.”
“No!” Even her chest flushed red.
He coaxed her. “Come on, say it. I like hearing it.”
She said, embarrassed and flustered, “What’s there to like about that?”
“It just sounds good. Hearing it makes me excited.”
“Pervert!”
“That’s because you made me like this. I was originally proper and upright.”
She refused to speak further, eyes squeezed shut, face turned aside.
Xu Cheng was not discouraged in the slightest, stubbornly advancing toward his goal, advancing.
She let out a small cry, heels pressing into the bedsheet as she shrank upward.
He feigned ignorance. “What’s wrong?”
“Too s…” She stopped halfway, unwilling to say it, glaring at him in shame and indignation: you did that on purpose!
“Then I’ll pull back a bit.”
“Don’t…” She could not hold it in. His smile widened. “Is this more comfortable?”
Jiang Xi bit him, shut her eyes tight, and ignored him.
He stopped.
She blinked her eyes open again, a little dazed, a faint trace of grievance in her gaze.
“What’s wrong?”
“You, why did you—”
“Why did I what?”
“You stopped.”
“I thought you were there.”
Her whole face flushed red. She forced out a sentence: “No… almost.”
“Jiang Xi.” He coaxed her. “You have to say it for me to know. We’ve been apart so many years, our bodies are still a bit unfamiliar. We need to get used to each other again, understand?”
“Huh?” She listened, a little stunned.
“Once we slowly get used to each other, it’ll feel better for both of us.” He gently talked her into it. “Say it out loud, and we’ll get used to each other better.”
“Oh…” she answered obediently.
His heart softened into water. Unable to resist, he suddenly leaned in and kissed her hard. “Jiang Jiang, how are you this cute!”
Those days, everything was good. Life was satisfying.
The only small regret was that the investigation team’s work was busy, and he rarely had time to go out with her. That night, before sleep, wrapped in each other’s arms, Xu Cheng said, “If I don’t work overtime on Saturday, we’ll send Jiang Tian out for the day. I’ll take you to the amusement park.”
“Really?” Half drowsy, half excited, she asked.
“Mm, really.”
“I hope Saturday comes faster.” Half dreaming, she said it with quiet happiness.
But that Saturday, it rained heavily.
Xu Cheng did not want her to be disappointed, and he worried that Sunday might suddenly bring overtime work, so he wanted to go despite the rain.
When he asked Jiang Xi, the two of them had thought of the same thing.
She said, “If it rains, it rains. I still want to go.”
As she spoke, her eyes lit up. “It feels even more interesting. I’ve never gone to an amusement park in the rain.”
*
Going to an amusement park on a rainy day had its own kind of charm.
Because of the rain, the number of visitors had dropped sharply. In a big city like Yucheng, amusement parks were usually packed, but days of heavy rain had driven the crowds away.
In the vast park, only a few people remained.
The buildings and greenery were washed bright by the rain. The staff were full of enthusiasm. From time to time, there were even people who did not carry umbrellas or wear raincoats, chasing and playing in the rain as if embracing it naturally. Watching them stirred something inside, joy spreading by contagion.
Xu Cheng said, “My girlfriend really is wise. Coming to play in the rain is pretty fun.”
Not long after entering, they ran into a vendor selling raincoats, calling out warmly, “Handsome guy, pretty lady, buy a raincoat.”
Jiang Xi stood under the large black umbrella Xu Cheng held, leaning a little closer to him. In a small voice, she said, “I don’t want a raincoat.”
The vendor kept persuading, “Playing with an umbrella is inconvenient.”
Jiang Xi said nothing. Xu Cheng smiled. “She likes indoor attractions. Probably won’t need it. Thanks.”
Jiang Xi was timid, afraid of any ride with a strong sense of weightlessness. Outdoor rides like roller coasters or drop towers, she could not handle at all.
Xu Cheng switched the umbrella to his other hand, his free arm tightening around her shoulders.
Jiang Xi glanced at him.
He laughed. “What are you looking at? If you don’t want a raincoat, isn’t this what you wanted?”
Jiang Xi pressed her lips together in a smile, wrapped her arms around his waist, and said, “I really like your umbrella. It’s super big, and black looks nice too. It feels very safe. Like you.”
Xu Cheng looked up at it, not quite seeing how he resembled an umbrella.
“That time, when you went downstairs to buy salt, you squatted there talking on the phone, you really looked like a big mushroom.”
“What big mushroom? Miss Jiang, broad daylight, don’t start making dirty jokes.”
Jiang Xi took two or three seconds to react. “Ah!” She pinched his waist hard. “The thief crying thief!”
Xu Cheng bent over to dodge, ticklish, still holding her as the two of them jostled and twisted playfully.
The rain was not light, drumming against the umbrella with sharp pattering sounds. Outside that single umbrella, the world was veiled behind countless silvery rain lines. On the ground around them, puddles were struck again and again, water splashing like rippling streams.
And this one umbrella was a small boat in the river, with only him and her on it. Warm. Peaceful.
“Don’t you think this umbrella is like a little boat?”
Xu Cheng said, “Just now it was a mushroom, now it’s turned into a boat again.”
She said, “If it’s a mushroom, then the two of us are bugs hiding from the rain.”
“Bugs?” Xu Cheng said. “Then I’ll be a rhinoceros beetle. I loved catching them when I was little.”
“Then I’ll be a seven-spotted ladybug.”
Xu Cheng: “Why?”
“I don’t know. I think the name sounds cool, and it looks nice too.”
“Alright.” Xu Cheng said. After a few seconds, “Then won’t our sizes be too different?”
Jiang Xi’s face reddened, and she lightly hit his arm.
Xu Cheng was baffled. “Huh? What did I do now?”
Jiang Xi realized this time he had not meant anything else by it, turned her face away. “Nothing.”
Xu Cheng immediately understood, leaning close to her face. “Hey, miss, whose mind is full of dirty thoughts?”
Jiang Xi pushed his face away with her palm. “Go farther away.”
“Oh…” Xu Cheng still held the umbrella over her head, arm fully extended as he stepped outward. “I can only go this far at most.”
Jiang Xi immediately pulled him back in from the rain. “Hey! You’re all wet!”
Xu Cheng laughed and drew her tight into his arms. Jiang Xi smiled, looking up at the big umbrella. “If it’s a mushroom, then I’ll be a damselfly.I like damselflies too.”
“Alright. Your wings must be very pretty.”
“If it’s a boat, then we—”
She faltered. He picked it up: “Then we’re just us.”
Jiang Xi smiled, a little happiness in her voice. “Walking around an amusement park on a rainy day is really so interesting.”
They had not even gone on a single ride yet.
Xu Cheng went along with her. “It is.”
She asked again, “What do you want to ride?”
Xu Cheng said, “I just want to stay with you.”
Then staying at home was interesting, and stepping out into the rain was interesting too.
Jiang Xi laughed happily. “Then what if I don’t ride anything?”
“Then I won’t ride anything.”
“Tch. Coming to an amusement park and not riding anything, you’re an idiot.”
“If I’m an idiot, then you’re an idiot too. Silly Jiang Xi.”
“Silly Xu Cheng!”
“Hey, the carousel.”
“Where?” She craned her neck.
He lightly pinched her chin and turned it ninety degrees. “There. You little shorty.”
“I’m not short, I’m almost one meter seventy.”
“Where’s the ‘almost’?”
“Two centimeters. Round it off, and that counts.”
Xu Cheng said nothing, just rested his chin on the top of her head, silently “humiliating” her.
Jiang Xi: “……”
The rain poured down, yet the carousel was still brilliantly colorful.
Riding the carousel in the rain felt strangely wonderful.
There were few visitors. In the entire space, only Xu Cheng and Jiang Xi sat on the largest horse, the kind that could hold two people.
The rain was heavy. Around the circular carousel, a shimmering curtain of rain hung down, like a transparent yurt. The music was blocked by the rain, unable to spread outward, echoing freely within this small enclosed world, creating a kind of reverberation.
Fine droplets brushed against the face, damp and cool. The mist drifted like light gauze.
Countless painted horses rose and fell in front of them. Jiang Xi reached out, trying to catch their shadows, but only caught the raindrops splashing in.
The carousel turned round and round, staying in place.
Year after year, it was as if she and he had returned to the starting point again.
When Xu Cheng lifted her down, she said happily, “I really love the carousel.”
“Then do you want to ride it again?”
“I want to ride it two more times.”
Xu Cheng said, “Then ride it three more times.”
She giggled. “Then what if I want to ride it four times?”
“Then I’ll carry you for five.”
Jiang Xi’s eyes lit up. “Then later, can we ride the Ferris wheel several rounds too?”
“As long as you want, we’ll ride until the park closes.”
“I want to!” Her small face glowed.
Xu Cheng lightly pecked her cheek, lifted her back onto the carousel, then climbed up himself. As he wrapped an arm around her waist, he seemed to think of something, smiled slowly, and said, “I want to too.”
The music started, colors spun.
That day, Jiang Xi was very happy. She rode the carousel six times. In the whole place, there was only her and him.
The Ferris wheel did not require lining up either. Get on as you arrive. Xu Cheng put away the umbrella and stood it in the corner, rainwater streaming down into a thin little river.
Jiang Xi noticed that one of his shoulders and half of his back were wet. The umbrella was big, but the rain was bigger. When holding it, he had always kept her in his arms, tilting the umbrella toward her side. It would have been strange if he had not gotten wet.
She said nothing, just lowered her head and lightly fanned the slightly damp cuff of her pants.
“Do your feet hurt?” Xu Cheng crouched down, lifted her left pant leg, took out a tissue, and wiped her left calf and prosthetic.
“They don’t hurt. We didn’t walk much today. This prosthetic is really good, I got it from the assistance center.” Jiang Xi watched his expression. He looked normal, casually stuffing the used tissue back into his pocket.
Jiang Xi said, “But actually, Yi Baiyu and Zhu Fei secretly gave it to me.”
This time, Xu Cheng looked up at her. He only needed a second to think before understanding that she was doing it on purpose. He asked, “How did you know it was me?”
“I saw the receipt.”
Xu Cheng sat down beside her, smiled faintly, but still said, “It’s still not good enough.”
“How is it not? It’s already the best.”
“I found out a few days ago during an investigation that there’s something even better.” Over a hundred thousand. When he saved enough money, he would buy it for her. “If it were better than this, that day on Cui Mountain, you would have been able to run out, and wouldn’t have fallen into the pool.”
Jiang Xi froze for a moment, then immediately wrapped her arms around him, hugging and patting him. “In my heart, it’s already the best. Besides, he’s already been caught. Xu Cheng, I’m free now. Everything you promised me, you’ve done.”
His expression indeed softened, turning gentle again. “Jiang Xi, you’re really good at coaxing people.”
“Then did I coax you properly?”
Xu Cheng only smiled. As he smiled, his gaze slowly deepened.
The affection in his eyes was too profound. Jiang Xi felt as if she were being drawn in.
Xu Cheng lifted his hand. His index finger lightly touched her smooth forehead, slowly tracing downward, to the pale space between her brows, to the bridge of her nose, to the small tip, and finally to her rosy lips.
He was tracing her, like she once had.
Her heart pounded wildly. Her body trembled, and she unconsciously pulled back by a few millimeters.
His finger hovered in the air, dampened by her warm breath. One second, two seconds, then it followed after her, tracing the softness of her lips.
His thumb pressed lightly against her lips. Her heart felt like a sieve leaking sand.
Xu Cheng leaned forward slightly, his thin lips brushing against her forehead.
Jiang Xi reacted like an electric shock, drawing in a sharp breath that caught in her throat before tremblingly falling.
Though they had already given themselves to each other as lovers, every moment of closeness still made their hearts race and their minds blur.
Xu Cheng moved to kiss her eyes.
She closed them gently.
He kissed the bridge of her nose, the tip, then her lips. He softly took her lower lip between his, his tongue lightly teasing at the curve of it. She parted her lips, her small tongue slipping out to taste him, gently hooking and lingering. Her heartbeat quickened easily, their brushing cheeks warming, flushing red.
After a while of closeness, Jiang Xi’s eyes shone bright, her cheeks deeply flushed.
The Ferris wheel rose higher. Because the weather was not good, to keep balance, Xu Cheng moved to sit opposite her, still within arm’s reach.
She liked it here very much.
Because of the rain, the view from inside the Ferris wheel cabin was not very clear. Water streamed down the glass windows all around. She and he were like two people enclosed inside a water-filled glass bead.
There was a feeling of drifting in wind and rain, cut off from the world.
And yet, precisely in such a moment, this small, dry, steady, and quiet space felt especially safe and relaxing. Like a harbor for the heart.
If one were here alone now, it would probably feel a little bleak, even frightening.
But with him beside her, it felt steady and just right.
“Xu Cheng.” Jiang Xi gazed at the flowing water streaking across the glass, like old patterned window glass, and suddenly said, “I feel like this place is kind of—”
“A small boat.” He said it softly.
Jiang Xi turned her head. Xu Cheng sat across from her in the narrow cabin. The soft, dim daylight reflected in his dark eyes as he gazed at her without blinking.
“Mm. During the rainy season, every evening it would rain heavily. At that time, the boat windows looked just like this.” Jiang Xi took off her shoes, found a comfortable position, hugged her legs, and curled into the corner. “The boat would sway gently too, but it felt very safe, like a cradle.”
As she spoke, the Ferris wheel cabin seemed to echo her words, swaying slightly as well. They looked at each other and smiled silently at the same time.
Xu Cheng leaned lazily against the glass too and asked, “You seem to really like round things? The carousel, the Ferris wheel. Or is it because you like bright colors?”
“Round things. You can always return to the starting point.” Jiang Xi said, “Some people think that’s sad, like you can’t escape, always going in circles. But I think it’s good. No matter how long you run, you can return to the very beginning, and see the person you first met.”
Xu Cheng suddenly thought of the first time she rode the carousel, her gaze always chasing after him.
Back then, his heart had been beating fiercely. Out of control, escaping reason. So much so that he had forced himself to turn his head away.
He said, “When you read, do you only like happy endings?”
“Mm…” Jiang Xi nodded firmly, saying with longing, “I hope everything in this world has a complete ending. You don’t know, when I was little and read The Little Mermaid, I cried so hard I couldn’t stop. My brother was terrified and checked all my books overnight. All the tragedies were taken away. If it was a fairy tale collection, he even tore out the pages with bad endings. After that, there were no tragedies left on my bookshelf.”
Xu Cheng’s lips curved.
“I remember you said the world has more things that aren’t complete.” Jiang Xi asked, “Xu Cheng, does your heart still get tired now?”
Xu Cheng did not answer immediately. He looked at the mottled glass window. Crisscrossing rain marks scattered across it, light and dark, droplets racing along.
“It’s better now.” He smiled, looking at her. His heart now had a place to settle. His late-night returns had a light left on for him.
“Ah, the wind’s lighter.” Jiang Xi opened her arms toward him. Xu Cheng stood and pulled her into an embrace, sitting down on her side.
The embrace soothed his heart. Holding her warm, faintly damp body, breathing in the light scent of bergamot in her hair, he grew calm.
At some point, he glanced outside the glass and said, “Seems like we’ve reached the top.”
Jiang Xi turned her head. “Really.”
She leaned toward the window. Through the streaked, water-blurred glass, they could see the vague outline of Yucheng in the heavy rain, everything washed into a single tone, shrouded in drifting mist. Like a hazy impressionist painting.
Xu Cheng held her from behind, his chin resting on her shoulder, both of them looking out the window. They stayed like that for a long time without speaking.
Gradually, a thin layer of fog formed on the glass. Jiang Xi used her finger to write his name and hers, drawing a heart.
When the cabin returned to the starting point and the door opened, the cool air rushed in, and the writing on the glass vanished in an instant.
On the way, they passed the raincoat vendor again. His business was poor that day, still calling out to the few scattered customers.
Xu Cheng and Jiang Xi looked at each other at the same time. Without speaking, a smile was enough to understand.
After putting on the raincoats, Jiang Xi said, “Wearing a raincoat is fun too.”
“Yeah.” he said.
They walked into the rain. The heavy drops thudded against Jiang Xi’s head and shoulders, weighty and solid.
Xu Cheng insisted on holding her hand. Rainwater from their sleeves streamed continuously over their clasped hands, seeping into their palms and between their fingers, cool, slick, wet.
And yet, it felt even closer, more intimate, than holding hands when dry.
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